That Moment
by mezy
Summary: Bella is a recently seperated, very busy, single mom.  She has relocated back to Forks for a fresh start, but has vowed to herself to never listen to her heart again.  Can Edward change her mind?  B/E, AH
1. Rewind

**AN: **Sorry to break it to all of you, but I don't own Twilight. I do have a crazy-ass work schedule just like my girl Bella does. :o)

Thanks to Yenny for prereading. Anyone interested in beta reading for me, send me a PM. Thnx!

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**That Moment**

**Chapter 1 – Rewind**

**BPOV**

"Yeah, Mom… Okay… Listen, I gotta go…Losing my signal…" I hit the end button and dropped my cell into the passenger seat. The light in front of me turned green so I hit the accelerator and pulled forward along with a hundred other cars, all full of people that were in just as big a hurry as I was. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration as some asshole cut me off. I hate traffic. I hate people. Driving through this godforsaken town would be a hell of a lot easier if there weren't so many damn people around. Right? And it's not like I live in some big city where there are a million people trying to coexist in a five square mile area. No. I live in the small town of Forks, Washington. Where there are five hundred people spread out all over God's green acre. But the 'town' itself consists of exactly one main street and five traffic lights.

Thanks to someone's brilliant planning, the sawmill changed shifts at the same time the kids were dismissed from school. So every day at least half of the population was trying to drive through town to get to work at the same time the school bus drivers were trying to drop off busloads of energetic brats. I rubbed my temples and tried to take a deep breath before looking at the clock. Fuck. 4:15 already. My class was going to start in fifteen minutes and I still had to get there and make copies of the syllabus. So not a good way to start a new quarter.

Under normal circumstances I leave my full-time job early enough to miss all of this mess, but not today. Today my boss decided it would be a good day for a little one-on-one chat about my life. As if she knew anything about my life! It took me almost a half an hour to convince her that I'm just fine. So my husband – make that ex-husband – is a world class asshat. I'll deal with it and go on. It's not like my life is over just because my marriage is, right? Right. But apparently my work has been suffering as of late. Well no shit! I've had a lot on my mind, you know.

I finally managed to pull into the parking lot of the community college, parked my car and grabbed my messenger bag. I had exactly three minutes to spare before my class started. Since I was running so late, I didn't have a chance to read through my class list, which really irritates me. I hate walking into a classroom and having no idea who will be sitting there when I turn around. By the time the Xerox was finished spitting out my copies and I made it to the classroom, I was five minutes late. Perfect.

I allowed myself a deep, calming breath before I put on my pleasant-but-tough teaching face and turned to face the classroom. There were roughly twenty students staring back at me. Most of them were about my age, although a few were younger, probably right out of high school. Class dynamics had changed drastically in the last couple of years. It used to be that most of the students were "traditional", meaning right out of high school, with a few "non-traditional" students mixed in there. But as the economy had gone to hell in a hand basket, enrollment had increased dramatically. Most companies were offering college tuition as part of their severance packages now and quite a few members of our community were taking full advantage of the opportunity.

I had already started reading off the roll when one of the names caught my eye. Edward Cullen. Great. Could this day get any worse? I called his name and looked up to see if it was the same Edward Cullen that I had gone to high school with. His auburn hair caught my attention right away and his emerald green eyes locked on mine before I could look back down at my paper. Fuck. He was staring right at me.

"So this is Finite Math. My name is Bella Newton," I cringed at the sound of the name as I said it. That would have to be changed immediately. "Please, call me Bella." I went on to tell them a little bit about myself, how I worked full-time at the paper plant and taught part-time in the evenings, where I went to college, what I expect from my students, and so on and so forth. It was my typical first-class spiel. I would give the same speech later this evening to my beginning algebra class. Of course, all eyes were on me, but one set in particular was burning a hole in my back as I wrote the notes on the board. I didn't have to turn around to know it would be a set of piercing green eyes that I was feeling.

I spent the next hour and a half reviewing algebra techniques and pointedly trying to ignore the man sitting in the back row. And his friend. The big guy with curly brown hair and ripped muscles that kept trying to flirt with me. Yeah. I ignored both of them as they sat back there, staring at me and whispering back and forth to each other. Occasionally one or the other would chuckle and I would have to turn around and give them my stink eye. The one that said "shut the hell up and pay attention, dumbass".

When class was over I had several attendance slips that needed to be signed. The students that were on unemployment had to have a paper signed at the end of each class to prove to Uncle Sam that they were here. They lined up at the desk and handed me their papers one by one. I initialed them and handed them back over. I wasn't paying any attention to the students, so when one of them cleared his throat I looked up to see who it was. My eyes immediately locked on his. He smiled that crooked smile of his and my breath caught in my throat.

"You look really familiar to me," Edward said in that velvety smooth voice of his. "Have we met before?" Oh God. That voice sent shivers down my spine. Had I actually forgotten how incredibly sexy he sounded?

"Yeah, we've met." I signed his paper and handed it back to him. "You used to cheat off of me in physics class." He laughed, confirming my suspicion that he knew exactly who I was.

"Oh come on Swan. I'd like to think that you would remember me for more than just that." He winked at me. Feeling the weight of his gaze on me yet again sent a warm wave of energy coursing through my body. I swallowed hard. The past was the past and it needed to stay there.

"That was a very long time ago, Cullen." I gathered my books together and brushed passed him. "See you on Wednesday," I said over my shoulder as I left the room. Truth be told, I was dying inside just at the sight of him after all these years. This quarter would be the death of me.

I managed to put him out of my mind long enough to teach my second class of the evening. It was a typical algebra class. No surprises in the roll call, thank God. I don't think I could have handled two in one day. There was this one guy, though, that I could tell right away would be trouble. He was kind of cute, had this Brad Pitt type of thing going on with a leather jacket and his dirty blonde hair pulled back in a long ponytail. Completely went off on me when I told the class they couldn't use their cell phones as calculators. He actually demanded that I buy him a calculator since he didn't have one. As if! Over privileged asshole.

It was almost nine o'clock when I finally got back in my car to leave the college. I took a deep breath and hit the speed dial on my phone.

"Hey Babe," my cousin Alice answered on the first ring. "Are you on your way?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few. How's Charlie?"

"He's great. Where does he get all that energy from?" She laughed, but I knew she was only half-joking. Charlie was a handful. Or two. Bouncing off the walls did not begin to describe my severe ADHD nine year old son.

"I wish he'd share some of it with me. I'm worn out."

"I bet you are. You work too hard, you know."

I snorted. Of course I work too hard, but someone has to pay the damn bills. Mike was a worthless lazy ass long before I filed for divorce, and that sure as hell hadn't changed any.

I picked Charlie up from Alice and we headed home. Of course Alice had already made sure he ate and took his bath, so all I had to do was put him to bed. She was a lifesaver for sure. I have no idea what I would do without her. I warmed up some leftover manicotti and turned on House. No matter how hard I tried, though, my thoughts kept coming back to Edward Cullen. I had forced myself to not think about him for so long that I had almost forgotten why. Eventually I gave up trying to block the memories from my mind. I turned off the TV, washed up my plate and went to bed. As I lay alone in the dark, I let my mind drift back to high school, back fifteen years ago to when I first met him.

I had moved to Forks my junior year of high school to live with my dad. I was shy, quiet, and backwards back then. Edward was the quarterback on the football team and all around most popular guy in the school. I was lucky enough to be paired with him as my lab partner in Chemistry class. For five months we sat side by side in that class and never spoke to each other. I didn't speak to hardly anyone my junior year, actually.

A week in to summer vacation my dad decided to drag me off on a camping trip with none other than Carlisle Cullen and his son Edward. Looking back on it, I have no idea what my dad was thinking, forcing his seventeen year old daughter to spend a week in the wilderness with a teenage boy that had a less-than-spotless reputation. I'm pretty sure that at that point he was still pretending that I was the son he always wanted instead of the daughter that he was stuck with.

The second day there, my dad and Carlisle went fishing, leaving Edward and I alone at the camp. You have to realize, this was the nineties. Laptops and cell phones and portable video games were not really an option back then. It was so freaking boring.

"So is there anything to do around here," I finally asked him. "I'm going to die of boredom this week, I swear to God."

He stared at me like I had two heads or something.

"What?" I finally asked, unnerved by his piercing green eyes.

"You've never spoken to me before."

"You've never spoken to me before either," I pointed out. "But I didn't just assume you were mute."

He laughed. I laughed. The tension between us was broken. We spent the morning talking and joking around. In the afternoon we went for a hike and explored some nearby caves. It was the first time since I moved to Forks that I had let myself have fun, of any kind. Edward was cool and collected and confident in himself, all things that I wasn't. I had known right away that we weren't even close to the same playing field on so many different levels.

But for that one week it didn't matter that we were polar opposites. It didn't matter that we had basically nothing in common. For that week we were the best of friends. We talked about our likes and our dislikes, our pet peeves, our plans for the future. By the end of the week he knew me better than anyone else ever had.

On the last day of the trip we had been hiking again and came across a beautiful meadow of wildflowers. I laughed when I saw it because it looked like something out of a movie. I stood in the middle of the meadow and held my arms straight out, spinning myself around in circles like a top, faster and faster. When I stopped, the world kept spinning around me. I took a few steps and stumbled, but I didn't fall. Edward's arms caught me and pulled me upright. He held me as I laughed, and he chuckled along with me. When the world finally stopped spinning, I looked up into his eyes and he looked down into mine and we were standing there in the middle of this beautiful field of wildflowers and there was that moment. You know that moment. The one where you just know he's going to kiss you. He was going to. I knew it. I felt it. I wanted it.

But he didn't.

Instead he closed his eyes and released me from his embrace. When he reopened them, they were void of passion, void of emotion. He smiled at me, but I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking "_Stop while your ahead dumbass. You really want to make out with the socially deprived police chief's daughter? Yeah right_." That was the moment I realized it, that there was no way in hell that Edward Cullen would ever want me. He was only socializing with me at all because there wasn't anyone else within a hundred mile radius.

I had shrugged it off, pretended like I hadn't recognized what had just happened for what it really was, and I had waited until I got home that night before I let the tears fall. Somewhere in the middle of my heartbreak I had convinced myself not to ever let him know how much he had affected me, and to never give him the chance to do it again.

I had failed miserably.

**EPOV**

"I'm telling you, that chic's wound so tight, all you would have to do is find the right string to pull and hold on for the ride." Emmett slammed his beer down on the table.

"Yeah, well, good luck with that one Em," I seethed as I lifted my own beer and took a long drink. The dimly lit bar and eighties rock music wasn't exactly helping my mood. I was anxious, upset, and edgy. Okay, I was pissed off. And I had the intense desire to punch something. Or someone. Hard.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emmett watched me for a long moment, gauging my mood and coming to whatever conclusions he needed to in that overactive brain of his.

"Come on Em. You know who that was, don't you?" As soon as she had started to speak in that classroom I had known it was her. I would know that voice anywhere. It was deep, husky even and belied her true tomboy nature. Her brown hair hung loosely over her shoulders, pulled back on the sides to keep it out of her eyes. Those eyes; pools of milk chocolate that a person could sink into and never return. The second she called me name I felt like I was in high school all over again, trying to hide my erection so she wouldn't have a clue how much I wanted her.

Emmett had a dumbfounded look on his face that told me he didn't have a clue.

"That, my friend, was Miss Isabella Swan, the ice princess herself." I took another drink as recognition dawned in his eyes.

"No shit?" He cracked up laughing. Emmett was the only person that knew of my secret obsession with Swan. In high school I had been on a mission, to find out why she was as cold as she was to everyone, especially me. Especially after we went camping and I shared some of my deepest secrets with her.

"I talked to her after class. She fucking blew me off and never looked back. Just like old times." My bottle slammed down on the table. "What the fuck did I ever do to her? Huh? I was nothing but nice to that bitch."

Enter Rosalie, Emmett's six foot tall, blonde and beautiful wife. She sat down next to him and eyed me like I was crazy or something.

"Who are we talking about?" She picked up Em's beer and took a drink. Neither one of us answered her. I just glared, trying to get across the whole it's-none-of-your-fucking-business with me eyes. She shrugged her shoulders like she really didn't give a shit if I told her or not. "Maybe she didn't want 'nice' from you, Edward."

I stared at her in confusion and probably looked like a true dumb ass. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? If she didn't want me to be nice, what did she want?

"Okay Cullen, after all these years I would think you would have learned something about women. Suppose you liked someone, really liked her, but she never gave any indication that she wanted to be more than just friends. Would you be willing to put yourself out there and put your feelings on the line when you felt there was a good possibility that she didn't feel the same way and would not only shoot you down, but also ruin your friendship with her as well?"

I heard what she was saying, but was there any way it was possible? All this time Bella had actually had feelings for me and was just hiding it? Highly unlikely. She was cold to everyone, not just me. Always had been.

But what if, just what if, Rose was right?

I said my good-byes and left the bar. I had to burn through this energy. I couldn't change the past and there was no sense dwelling on it either. I started running. The cool air calmed my nerves, the pounding of my feet against the pavement set the pace for the rest of my system, evening out my blood pressure and draining the tension from my muscles. It had been years since I had ran like that. I didn't pay any attention to where I was going, I just went.

As my feet pounded against the sidewalk I let my mind wander. Of course it went right back to that camping trip. The first day there I was helping set up the tents when Chief Swan pulled me aside.

"Listen here, son," he had said. "If I catch you looking at my daughter wrong this week, we'll have problems. If you touch my daughter this week we'll have even bigger problems. Do you understand? She's off-limits."

At that point in time Bella hadn't ever even spoken to me, so I figured it was going to be a very long, very boring week. I was wrong. Dad and Chief Swan had gone fishing every day, leaving me alone with her. And every day I would get the same warning. As the week went on we got to know each other. We had so much more in common than I would ever have imagined. She was smart, funny, and of course beautiful.

The last day we went hiking and I almost kissed her. Almost. But her father's words echoed through my mind and I stopped myself.

"Fuck me!" Yes, I actually said it out loud to myself. My feet stopped moving and I leaned over, putting my hands on my knees and breathing hard. What if Rose was right? What if by not kissing her that day she figured I wasn't interested in her. What if that one moment had decided our fate?

If it was true, then I had truly fucked up that day. I felt like a damn light bulb turned on in my brain. Looking back at the time we spent together with this new little insight changed the entire perspective of our relationship. She didn't talk to me for three months after that day.

Which means that the second time I had fucked up, it had been major…huge…gigantic. In fact, she left town that night and I hadn't seen or heard anything from her since. Until today.

I gave myself enough time to catch my breath before I turned in the direction of home and started walking. Bella was back in Forks for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, I would have the chance to prove to her that I wasn't the same dumbass that I was in high school anymore. 

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Reviews are awesome. Just sayin... :o)


	2. Dr Edward Cullen

**AN:** Twilight isn't mine. I do however have a 'Charlie' of my very own. :o)

Huge thanks to Jesi for fixing my grammer problems, and to Yenny for pre-reading for me. Booby rubs for both of you. ;o)

******That Moment******

**Chapter 2 – Dr. Edward Cullen**

**EPOV**

I pulled the cup of coffee out of the machine and took a sip. As always it was watered down and only lukewarm. I forced it down my throat anyway because today of all days I needed the caffeine. I swear I only got a few hours of sleep last night, if that. Now it was only two hours into my shift and my head was already pounding, my feet were dragging, and if I had to listen to one more screaming kid I was going to scream myself.

"Who's next, Lauren?" The blonde nurse was texting on her cell phone and chewing gum loudly. She stopped what she was doing long enough to glance up at me and smile. She really was a beautiful girl. A bit too young and too perky for me, but still. She smiled even wider as she handed me the next patient's folder.

"You've got a bouncer in room two." She winked and giggled a little bit as I rolled my eyes. Great. I skimmed over the file quickly as I walked. New patient, fever over one hundred and two, vomiting. Another case of the flu. As I neared the door I could hear movement inside. I hesitated, my hand on the door knob as I listened to the sound of my chair being wheeled back and forth across the room and a little kid chattering on and on to himself. I knocked on the door before opening it slowly.

Sure enough there was a small boy lying across my chair on his stomach, kicking his feet against the wall and making the chair roll across the room. His mother was sitting in a chair across the room, her head bent down to rest in her hands. She almost looked like she was sleeping.

"Hey Buddy, why don't you climb up on the table and let me have my chair?"

He looked up at me with calculating blue eyes before shrugging his shoulders and saying "No."

"Charlie, be good," his mother growled through gritted teeth. She lifted her head up; using both hands to push her hair out of her face and looked up at me. "I'm sor…" She didn't finish the sentiment as our eyes locked together.

"Edward?" Warm brown eyes that were ringed with red and puffy from crying stared into mine. Her already pale face drained of all color. She looked tired. So fucking tired, both mentally and physically. The urge to put my arms around her and hold her hit me hard, but I resisted, barely.

"Bella." Her name came out as no more than a whisper and I could imagine that the shock on my face mirrored her own. She was the last person I expected to see this morning. Somehow I managed to turn my face away from her and focus on the heathen child that was still rolling around on my chair like it was a bumper car.

"Come on, Charlie, on the table so I can see what's wrong."

"Fine!" He stomped across the small room and literally jumped up on the table. Bella immediately reached an arm out to catch him if he fell off the other side. He sat down and crossed his arms over his chest in a 'humph' and glared at her. "I just want to have a little fun. You never let me have fun!"

"I know it," she told him, rolling her eyes. "Sorry," she finally managed to say as she looked at me. "I was expecting to see your dad. I didn't realize you were a doctor."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I looked at her. She ducked her chin quickly, but I still saw her face flushing bright pink.

The poor kid was burning up. Bella explained that she had given him Tylenol, which helped but as soon as it wore off the fever was right back again. Through the five minute examination I had to tell him to get back on the table at least five times and I'm pretty sure he didn't stop talking the entire time. He kept throwing random facts at me about outer space and Aerosmith and who knows what else.

I gave Bella the diagnosis, the flu, and told her I'd write prescriptions for a pain killer and an antibiotic. Then I turned back to Charlie and had to stifle a laugh. He was climbing over the back of the table so he could hide in the corner of the room.

"Charlie, if you're this active with a fever, I'd hate to see what you're like when you feel good."

"Trust me, Mom can't keep up with me," he told me with a huge grin.

"I bet you're right," I laughed. Bella rolled her eyes and picked up her purse to go. Charlie didn't wait around, though. He flung the door open and ran full-speed down the hallway.

"That damn kid," she muttered as she moved towards the door. I stepped in front of her, blocking her path. She visibly tensed before looking up into my eyes. I was again struck by the dark circles under her eyes.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like hell."

"Thanks," she said as she raised an eyebrow. "I could say the same about you."

"I didn't sleep much last night." I muttered as I realized she was right. I probably did look like hell.

"Yeah well, I was up all night with him puking all over the place, so yeah; it hasn't been a good day." She looked like she was on the brink of tears and I couldn't help but feel like there was something else going on with her. She held my gaze a moment longer before shaking her head and looking away. "Look, I have to go find him. Who the hell knows what he's getting into out there." I had to chuckle. She was probably right about that too.

"He's a handful, huh?"

"You have no idea." She smiled, a small private type smile. I stepped out of her way and held the door open so she could leave the room. A minute later I heard a loud crash and I cringed as I heard her voice an instant later. "Charles Michael Newton!"

I ran down the hallway and found Charlie backing away from Bella, his eyes wide, his lips trembling and tears brimming over to streak down his cheeks.

"I didn't do it," he was saying, almost hysterically. "It was an accident!"

Broken glass littered the floor from a clock that had fallen off the wall and shattered into a million pieces. Bella's face was flushed pink with anger and embarrassment. She tracked him with her eyes as he retreated down the hallway. Finally she said one word.

"Car." He turned slowly and took small baby steps to the waiting room. Lauren was coming around the corner with a broom, but Bella took it from her hands. "I'll get it." She said with a sigh. Nobody said a word as she swept up the glass and dumped it in the trash can. When she was finished she rummaged around in her purse and pulled out two twenties. She handed them to me, refusing to make eye contact.

"This should cover a new clock. If not, let me know how much I owe you."

"Bella, you don't have to do that." I shook my head and pushed the money back towards her.

She stepped closer, close enough that I could smell the faint hint of strawberries in her hair.

"Yes, I do." She said as she tucked the money into my jacket pocket.

There was that stupid urge to hold her again. My fingers itched to touch her, but again I resisted. Now was not the time. I watched her as she paid her bill and collected Charlie's prescriptions, and then she left. As she pushed the waiting room door open, she glanced back at me. I thought she was going to say something, but instead she just held my gaze for a moment and left.

**BPOV**

Oh. My. God. I couldn't get out of that stupid doctor's office fast enough. Charlie had his chin pressed against his chest and tears were still slowly streaming out of his eyes. Not because he was sorry that he had ran into the wall full speed ahead, causing the clock to fall and shatter into a million pieces. No, he was crying because he just didn't understand why he could possibly be in trouble. After all, he hadn't done anything wrong. I bit my tongue, reminded myself that he was sick, and I didn't allow myself to yell, scream, or curse. I just needed to take a deep breath. Ugh. He just had to pick today of all days. I got zero sleep last night. I kept having stupid dreams about Edward, dreams that I hadn't had in at least ten years. When I looked up and saw him standing across the room from me, I honestly thought I had fallen asleep in the office and was dreaming again. It wasn't fair that he could look that damn good in that white coat. What did I expect? Edward would look good no matter what he was wearing.

I dropped off Charlie's prescriptions and sat in the car for a half an hour waiting for them to be ready. He fell asleep while we waited so I pulled out my Kindle and started reading book three of Midnight Breed. Why couldn't a hot vampire warrior swoop in and rescue me? I sighed to myself. I wasn't exactly a damsel in distress. I preferred it that way, really. I learned a long, long time ago that I only needed to rely on myself. I didn't need a man – vampire or otherwise – to save me.

My phone started singing some Miranda Lambert to me…"_You're a white liar. The truth comes out a little at a time_…" I grumbled to myself as I picked up the phone, not needing to look at the caller ID. Only one number was programmed for that particular ringtone.

"Mike." I was in no mood for pleasantries.

"Why aren't you at work?" The accusation in his voice made my blood boil. Like it was any of his fucking business where I was anyway.

"How do you know I'm not at work?" My fingers gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turned white and I had the supreme urge to punch something. Hard.

"I called. Your boss said you called in today. She said Charlie's sick."

"If you already know that, why are you asking me again? And why are you calling me anyway?" I obviously needed to have a serious talk with my boss about privacy laws.

"Do you want to explain to me what the fuck these papers are?"

This really was not a good time to get into this. I tried to keep my voice calm, I really did, but I could feel the rage boiling through my veins.

"They're called divorce papers, Mike. They are to notify you that I filed for divorce."

I heard a crash as he threw something against the wall.

"No fucking shit Bella! I know what divorce papers are!"

Charlie snored from the backseat, reminding me that I wasn't alone in the car. I opened the door and stepped out into the rain. Besides being isolated better from Charlie, now I could move. I started pacing from one end of the car to the other.

"Stop asking me stupid fucking questions then! You knew why I wasn't at work, but you asked me anyway. You knew you were looking at divorce papers, but you asked me what the fuck they were. Do you have any more stupid ass questions that you already know the answers too?" I was seething, barely even noticing the rain as it fell around me, hardly noticing the other customers that had stopped in the parking lot to stare at me.

"Why, Bella? Why would you do that?"

I closed my eyes and raised my chin so the rain was falling on my face. I laughed. I couldn't stop it. It was a humorless chuckle that brought tears to my eyes. Why? Really? I could think of a million reasons.

"Yeah, you know the answer to that one, too, Mike." I hit the end button and swore to myself, stopping myself just shy of throwing the stupid thing across the parking lot. I stood in the rain for a few minutes longer, letting my tears fall softly and completely ignoring the world around me. Eventually I came to my senses, realizing that I was standing in the middle of a downpour without so much as a jacket on. Fucking brilliant on my part, I know.

I turned to get back in the car. I stopped short when I saw a man watching me from across the parking lot. He looked vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn't place him. His eyes met mine, and for a brief moment I thought he was going to say something. I narrowed my eyes, almost daring him to say anything. The rain had straightened out the dark curls that framed his face, his brown eyes bored into mine. I was staring right at him, and I didn't even realize he had moved until he was standing right in front of me.

"Mrs. Newton," he said quietly. A cold chill spread through my body at that damn name.

"Bella. Really, call me Bella. It's Emmett, right?" The guy that sat next to Edward last night in class. The one that had flirted with me a hundred times. Now that he was standing in front of me and I was paying attention, I realized that we went to high school together too.

"You look like you could use a coffee or something," he motioned towards the coffee shop across the street. I had to smile, just a small smile.

"Thanks Emmett, but I'm okay. Besides, my son's asleep in the car." I gestured to the sleeping form in the backseat and he nodded in understanding.

He hesitated a minute longer, running his fingers through his wet hair and glancing around the parking lot nervously like he really shouldn't be seen talking to me or something. Then he took a step closer, his eyes catching mine and refusing to let them go. The intensity of the fire I saw in those brown eyes shook me. My breath caught in my throat as he started speaking in a low voice.

"I know we weren't exactly friends back in the day. If you ever need help, if you ever need anything, one of us will have your back. Understand?"

I didn't understand. Not at all. My head was spinning. His proximity was taking my breath away. Suddenly I wanted him to put his arms around me and tell me that it would all be okay. I just needed a damn hug.

"One of us? Who is us?" I asked in my confusion.

"Me. Jasper. Edward." I felt myself flinch as he said that one. I immediately started shaking my head in disagreement.

"Thanks Emmett, really, it's okay. I'm okay." He nodded slowly and stepped back away from me. It took a few more times of me reassuring him before he reluctantly turned away and returned to his car. What the fuck was that all about?

I finally managed to pick up Charlie's prescriptions and get home. He felt better after his nap so I gave him the medicine and let him play video games while I took a long, hot shower. The dampness from the rain had settled into my skin and I felt the chill down to my bones. The heat of the shower felt good though, slowly relaxing the tension out of my shoulders and relieving the headache that had settled between my eyes.

**EPOV**

Seeing Bella at the office was the highlight of my day. So much so that when I left the office she was still on my mind. It was almost funny watching her with her son. That boy was the exact opposite of her. Where he was energetic and exuberant, she was quiet and reserved. That's what I had always liked the most about her. She was never the type that had to be the center of attention. She was perfectly happy just sitting back, biding her time, and watching from the sidelines.

I couldn't help but notice just how much she had changed since then. She was no longer the self-conscious teenage girl. Instead she was confident and determined, and tougher somehow, like she had grown a thick layer of skin over the years. The most noticeable change, though, was that the spark in her eyes was gone. She just seemed tired and defeated.

I was so distracted just thinking about her that I didn't even notice the new voicemail icon on my phone until I had gotten home. I was just getting out of the car when I saw it. The missed call was from Emmett. Em had called and left me a voicemail? Weird. He never leaves messages. I retrieved the voicemail and listened to it as I gathered my take out dinner off the front seat.

"Hey, listen Edward. I don't know if I should say anything or not, but I know how you feel about her, so I figured I better tell you." He hesitated before continuing. "I just saw Swan. She was on the phone and she was really upset. I'm pretty sure she dropped the F-bomb at least three times. When she hung up the phone she just stood there in the rain and cried. I said something to Rose so she called Alice. She didn't have any details, just that Bella left her husband a few months ago and he refuses to admit it's over. Anyway, I told her if she needed any help she could count on me or you or Jasper."

That cold, clenching feeling started in my stomach and wormed its way through my body. I sat there, still in the driver's seat of my car, frozen in place. An ex that refused to admit it was over. How many women had I treated at the clinic for domestic violence because of that very issue?

I didn't stop to think about what I was doing, I just did it. I restarted the car and drove back to the office. I flipped through the folders until I found the one I needed, the one that held her address and phone number. It was incredibly unethical of me, and she would be well within her rights to sue me for this. It didn't matter. I had to do it, for my own piece of mind if nothing else.

I parked the Volvo across the street from her house. It wasn't in the best part of town. The houses were small and close together. The sidewalk out front was broken and the car in the driveway had seen better days. The house was quiet. All of the lights were turned off and there was a soft glow coming from a television in the front room.

I don't remember getting out of the car. I never made a decision to walk up the front steps. And yet, I found myself standing in front of her door, knocking on the hard wood and holding my breath that she would answer.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Does anyone besides me have kids that embarrass them daily with their behavior in public?


	3. The Grapevine

**AN: **Loved all the crazy kid stories. Sorry I couldn't respond to your reviews. FF wouldn't let me. :o(

Twilight isn't mine. I do, however, have a boss that thinks she knows how to do my job.

Big thanks to Yenny and Jesi for beta-reading for me. Love you guys! *mwah*

**That Moment**

**Chapter 3 – The Grapevine**

**BPOV**

"Did you brush your teeth?" Charlie looked up at me with a grin on his face and nodded yes, although I'm pretty sure he was lying to me. "Go brush your teeth and put your shoes on."

He fought me for a few more minutes before actually going to the bathroom and pretending to brush his teeth. By then I didn't have time to fight him over it. We needed to go or I would be late for work. Honestly there was no reason at all for us to be running late today. When we got home from the doctor's office yesterday I had taken a shower and laid down for a nap, only to wake up at ten o'clock with Charlie sound asleep in the bed next to me. I had gotten up long enough to shut off the TV, check the locks on the doors and set my alarm clock, then I went right back to bed. I probably slept sixteen hours, and damn it felt good! I didn't realize just how exhausted I was, but today I felt rejuvenated. Charlie was feeling better, too. His fever had broken over night and he had woken up starving, wolfing down four pancakes.

"Shoes, Charlie! We have to go!" Reluctantly and mumbling to himself he finally put his shoes on and grabbed his book bag for school. I drove him three blocks over to Alice's house and dropped him off. I was just getting ready to pull out of the driveway when Alice came running out the front door in black yoga pants and a bright orange tank, waving her arms at me to hold on.

"What's up Alice?" I rolled my window down as she came nearer.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, her voice full of concern as she reached my door and crouched down so she was eye level with me.

"I'm fine. Why?" What the hell kind of question was that? I glanced at the clock, knowing I needed to be out of here in about two minutes or I would never make it to work on time.

"Rose called last night." Fuck. "She said Emmett saw you yesterday and you were pretty upset."

"Rose needs to mind her own fucking business." I could feel my blood start to boil. That was one thing I had always hated about Forks, or any other small town for that matter. You couldn't shit without everyone knowing what color it was. "Mike was being an asshole, per usual. I dealt with it. It's fine." She watched me with hawk like eyes, searching out if I was telling the truth or not. I must have passed the test because she nodded and stood back up.

"Okay. But if you need help, you'll let me know, right?"

"Of course. Right now I gotta go, I'll be late." I put the car in reverse, not waiting for her to answer, and started to back up. "Remember it's my late night. I have class tonight." She nodded and waved as I backed onto the street and put the car in drive.

My good mood, however, was officially dead. What? Did everyone think I was some poor, defenseless little girl that couldn't deal with one jackass on her own? I've been dealing with him for twelve years already. I think I'm good. I turned the radio on and found some angry chic music. Nothing like listening to some Alanis Morisette when you're in the mood to beat the shit out of someone.

Unfortunately, my day did not improve from there. Since I took yesterday off to stay home with Charlie, my boss had decided to 'help me out' by doing my job for me. Except that all of the reports she did were entered wrong. The schedule was half-assed and half of the materials hadn't been ordered. I swear it would have been better if she hadn't done any of it at all! I spent most of my day correcting the reports from yesterday, and while I was doing that she was still attempting to do my job even though I was sitting right there. Which, to be honest, pretty much just irritated the shit out of me. Do your own work and leave mine the hell alone, you know?

It was afternoon, almost time to leave for the day, before I finally got caught up. I watched the clock, knowing that in just a couple of short hours I would be in the same classroom as Edward and Emmett. I had a few choice words for Emmett, and if he told Edward about my conversation with Mike yesterday, those words were going to be accompanied by my fists.

"Man you look mean today." I looked up to see my friend Jess standing in my doorway. "What's up?"

She was shorter than me, with curly blonde hair that hung below her shoulders and pale blue eyes. I love her eyes. Seriously. Mine are just boring brown. My first day of work Jess had come to my desk to introduce herself and blurted out that she loved the way my boobs looked in the shirt I was wearing. We'd been friends ever since.

"I hate men." I answered her as truthfully as I could.

"He got the papers?" She scrunched her nose up like she was waiting for the bad news. Jess was the only person I had talked to about the whole Mike situation. She knew all the gory details.

"Yeah. He can't imagine why I would have filed for divorce." I rolled my eyes and she snorted.

"Does he really think you're going to forgive and forget? You're right. Men suck."

"You don't even know the half of it. He called me when I was at the pharmacy waiting for Charlie's medicine." Her eyes widened and of course she demanded to know what happened. So I explained to her that I had lost my cool, yelled and swore at him, and I had done it all in front of an audience. One that felt the need to meddle in my life. I still couldn't believe Rose had called Alice to get the dirt on my divorce. Give me a fucking break. However, in telling Jess about Emmett offering to help me, I also mentioned that he was in my class, along with Edward.

Then she demanded to know all about Edward and why I would care so much if he was in my class or not. I gave her the cliff notes version. Unrequited teenage love, which was complicated by him being so damn nice to me all the time. Really, if he had just been an ass I could have come to terms with the fact that he didn't want me, but no. He was, at the very least, a good friend.

"Didn't you ever tell him how you felt?" She looked at me in disbelief. Probably because she knows the Bella now, the one that doesn't take bullshit from people and openly states whatever is on her mind. Most of the time. The Bella back then was a completely different person.

"I almost did, once." I told her, thinking back to that day so many years ago. "We worked together at the grocery store. I ran a cash register and he stocked shelves. He would always walk me out to my truck at the end of the day and make sure it started. It was a nineteen seventies monstrosity and he always told me I should get something newer. Anyway, I decided I was going to ask him to go to the Christmas party with me. I figured that was nice and safe. It wasn't like I was declaring my love for him or anything, and if he said no I could just say that I didn't want to go alone, you know?

"We were clocking out at the same time and I made some comment about the snow piling up outside. There was like three or four inches on the ground already and it was coming down hard. I asked him if he had a minute, and he said 'sure', but he wasn't really paying any attention to me. He was looking past me. So I turned around and saw Miss Head Cheerleader, Tanya Denali standing behind me."

"Oh no! Tell me he didn't leave with her?" Jess was covering her eyes, like she wouldn't be able to see the train wreck as it happened or something.

"Oh yes. It was like I wasn't even standing next to him. He didn't even say 'bye' or 'see you tomorrow'. He just left." Jess groaned and shook her head, but I wasn't quite finished yet. "On top of that, the stupid truck wouldn't start. The one night he didn't walk me to my truck, and I had to walk home almost two miles in like six inches of snow."

"Shiiit! Stupid men. I bet he never even knew that you liked him. You know what you need to do. You've been given a second chance, right? He's single? You're single. You should ask him out for drinks and tell him about how stupid and blind he was in high school."

I choked and the tea I had been drinking spewed from my mouth. Leave it to Jess to come up with something that insane.

"Are you effing crazy?" I managed to choke out. She gave me her innocent look and smiled that evil little smile of hers. "I'm not even divorced yet, you know that, right? Besides that, I'm done. I'm officially out of the game. Understand?"

She didn't understand, not really. But we had run out of time to talk about it. It was 3:30, time for me to leave. So I kicked her out of my office, shut down my computer and headed out for the college.

**EPOV**

I waited for at least ten minutes last night. She never did answer the door and I never heard movement inside. She probably wasn't even there. Maybe she just forgot to turn the television off before she left? Since I couldn't catch her last night, I had resorted to plan B. I was standing on the front steps of the college, waiting. I got there an hour early, hoping to catch Bella before we went in for class. The sun was trying to come out. The rain was nothing more than a mist against my face. I paced across the top landing of steps and looked up just in time to see her pull her Pontiac into a parking spot. She didn't notice me as she took her bag out of the back seat and slung the strap over her shoulder. She looked amazing in black pants and a red sweater.

She kept her head bent down towards the ground as she walked, so she didn't see me standing at the top of the steps waiting for her. I smoothly stepped in her path so she ran right into me. When she stepped into me, her hands instinctively reached up and grabbed my arms to steady herself. My hands found her waist of their own accord. A shock of electricity spread through my body at the contact.

"I am so sorry," she mumbled. "I wasn't looking." She lifted her eyes to mine. A small part of me was doing back flips because she was actually standing in my arms, staring into my eyes and she felt so damn perfect. Her lips called to me and I leaned closer to hear what they were saying. Then she shook her head quickly and stepped back like she had been burned.

"You scared the shit out of me, Edward." She said breathlessly.

My fingers tingled, itching to touch her again. Had I actually forgotten how good she felt against me?

"Sorry Swan. We need to talk." I motioned to the picnic table so we could sit down, but she stood her ground. Her eyes narrowed and her arms folded across her chest defensively. What do you know? The spark was back in her eyes.

"What would we possibly need to talk about?" She glanced around quickly, checking to see if anyone else was within earshot. We were more or less alone, but the sarcastic tone of her voice brought me up short. She was pissed. "Let me guess. Emmett told you he overheard me on the phone with my ex, and Rose talked to Alice behind my back, so now the whole gang is up to speed on my disaster of a marriage. Right? Save it Edward! I don't need your help and I don't need your sympathy, and I sure as hell don't need all of you talking about me behind my back!"

She was fuming. I think I could actually see steam coming off of her skin. She was fucking adorable, all poised to strike like a harmless kitten. I took a step closer and let my hands rest on her shoulders. She didn't back away; she just stood there, glaring at me.

"I don't know anything about your marriage or your divorce," I told her gently. "All I know is that in another life you and I were friends. I want you to know that I'm still your friend, Bella. I also know that your ex doesn't want to admit that it's over. And I know how dangerous it can be to have a psychotic asshole fixated on you and unwilling to give you up."

Her eyebrow rose in surprise and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Oh my God, Edward. Mike is not psychotic, he's just an asshole that doesn't want to admit that he fucked up." The fire in her eyes was gone, replaced by unshed moisture. "I don't need you to rescue me, okay? I don't _want_ you to rescue me." Her voice came out as a whisper.

My breath caught in my throat and I stood frozen to the spot. She held my gaze for a moment before sidestepping around me, leaving me standing there on the sidewalk alone. Those words cut deeper than I wanted to admit. Bella has always insisted that I have a 'hero' complex. What she was subtly trying to say was "_I'm not your next damsel in distress_."

I sat in the back of the classroom with Emmett again. I couldn't take my eyes off of her though. Hell, maybe she's right. Maybe I really do have a hero complex. Maybe I wanted to be able to swoop in and solve all her problems and bring that smile back to her face. Maybe I was just looking for an excuse to get close to her. Dammit. I don't need an excuse. I don't need to fabricate some villain that she needs protection from. I've always wanted to be close to her.

Class was wrapping up when a delivery boy knocked on the door. He was carrying a large vase filled with a dozen red roses and a card. Everyone in the class turned around to watch as he brought the delivery in and set in on the table. Whispers filled the room, everyone wanted to know who it was for and what was the occasion. Bella signed for the delivery and set the package aside, not even giving it a second glance as she finished giving the homework assignment and dismissed the class.

I let Emmett take his own attendance paper up so she could sign off on it this time. I just waited by the door for him. When she was finished signing the papers and everyone had turned to leave she picked up the card and opened it. Her hands were shaking visibly as she pulled the card out of the envelope slowly. She blinked her eyes quickly, willing the tears that were waiting there to go away.

I took a few steps towards her.

She looked inside the card for only a few seconds before dropping it on the table and stepping back. Her hands covered her face. The tears flowed freely from her eyes. She shook her head slowly, muttering to herself over and over.

I covered the distance between us before I even realized I was moving. She readily turned to me and sank into my chest as I put my arms around her and held her tight.

"What is it Bella?" I asked quietly as I picked the card up off the table. On the front of it there was a picture of a red rose and in fancy red writing it read "_I Love You_…"

Inside the card, handwritten in blue ink, it read "_I'm so sorry Love. Please forgive me. Love you always, Mike_."

There was a picture taped inside the card. It was a picture of Bella in a beautiful white wedding gown with her hair pulled up on the sides, and a man I could only assume to be Mike standing next to her in a tuxedo.

Their wedding picture.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>I'll be Edward's damsel-in-distress any day. Just sayin...

Next chapter we'll find out what happened between Bella and Mike. Any guesses?


	4. Reflections

**AN: **I don't own Twilight. I know, right? I keep hoping...  
>Thanks to Jesi and Yenny for betapre-reading for me. You guys rock.

Thanks to all of you who are reading. Leave a review and let me know what you think.

**That Moment**

**Chapter 4 – Reflections**

**BPOV**

How many times had I wished for a romantic gesture? Any kind of symbol to show that he still loved me? The flowers that Mike had sent sat in front of me in the middle of my kitchen table. They were beautiful red roses, perfect in full bloom.

Charlie had long since been put to bed. Here I still sat, my legs pulled up to my chest and my head resting on my knees. I stared absent absentmindedly at the beautiful gift from Mother Nature that had been given to me as a token of love. No, not a token of love, a token of regret. I had to keep reminding myself of that.

How did it come to this? Twelve years of my life, and it all came down to this. Mike had made his move by sending the flowers and apologizing. Now it was up to me to decide what happened next. Do I forgive him and go back? Resume the life that I've known for so long? Then what? Sure, the reunion would be great, knowing that we still had each other no matter what. And for a while we would go out of our ways to show each other how much we still care. How long until we slipped back into that apathy of everyday life?

If I was being honest with myself, our marriage had been over for years. We kept holding on because it was familiar. It was easy. It was known. But how long had it been since he had told me he loved me? How long had it been since we had made love? When we did have sex, there was no feeling behind it, no passion. It was merely one more thing that we had to do, a chore more than anything in our busy lives.

I used to read romance novels or smutty fan fiction and think to myself "Why can't Mike sweep me off my feet like that? Why doesn't he look at me with desire anymore?" I knew the answers. Because even though he still might have feelings for me, that spark was gone.

I could feel the tears streaming down my face as I sat there in the dark. I took little comfort from the pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I was nursing so eventually I put it back in the freezer and made my way to the small desk that was set up in the corner of the living room. I turned on the small lamp and pulled my picture album out of the drawer. Slowly I turned the pages and let myself drift through time, back to when I was happy. Before my life was an endless schedule of work, bills, doctor appointments, and activities for Charlie. Back to the days when I was young and single, going to school in Seattle and living in a small three room apartment on the outskirts of town.

I had lived there about six months when it happened. I walked into the bathroom and flipped the fan on and the most God-awful loud screech came out of the damn thing! I jumped back and screamed before I realized what it was making that horrid noise. I made a phone call to my landlord who promised to send his son over to look at it right away. A half an hour later I opened the front door to a blond haired, blue eyed guy that was about my age and looked like he had a million things he would rather be doing than fixing my fan on a Friday evening.

When he looked up, our eyes met and his whole demeanor changed. A smile spread across his face that warmed me instantly. To this day, every time I see that smile I get all warm and fuzzy inside. We talked as he worked on the fan. Talking led to dinner, dinner led to a movie. He kissed me for the first time that very night, and ever since then it's been the two of us. Together forever.

But it wasn't really forever. It never really is, right? We don't live in a fairy-tale world where people live happily ever after. Real life isn't all romance and happy endings. Why did I think that somehow Mike and I would be different? That we would be able to make it forever?

It was just as much my fault as it was his. I could feel us drifting apart. We were more like roommates than a couple, and yet I did nothing to stop it. I wished for him to make a move, to show me that he still loved me. He never did. And he never would have. I know that now. The only reason he sent me flowers now is because he's scared. Scared of being alone. He really should have thought of that before. He knew I had a zero-tolerance policy.

Four months ago I was going on about my daily life just as I always did. My schedule back then was pretty much the same as it was now, working at the plant during the day, teaching in the evenings. Just a different plant, a different college back in Seattle. A storm had blown through, knocking power out to the college. Since classes were canceled, I headed straight home after work, excited to have a 'free' evening.

God, I could still remember it just like it was yesterday. I will probably always have it burned into my conscious, a reminder that you can never trust a person's words; it's their actions that define them.

I stopped by the grocery store and bought some boneless skinless chicken breasts and some rolls. It had been a while since we had a decent home cooked meal. I picked Charlie up from his babysitter early and he was beyond excited to see me. When we got home, I noticed that Mike's car was already in the driveway. Charlie immediately started riding his bike in the backyard while I went inside to start dinner. I could hear the shower running in the bathroom.

My hand was on the doorknob when I heard it. A distinctly female voice, a sound that was somewhere between a moan and a grunt. My heart froze. My breath caught in my throat. I stood there, frozen in place and listened for countless seconds to the unmistakable sound of sex coming from my shower. Through the numbness of my shock, I felt rage boiling through me. My hand twisted the door knob and I shoved the door open. It swung around and hit the door stopper with a thud. The two figures behind the frosted glass shower door stopped moving.

There were a million things I should have said in that moment, but I didn't say any of them. I stood in the doorway, my arms crossed over my chest, my eyes piercing through the frosted glass until the door slid open and his eyes met mine. "Bella," he whispered.

I didn't stick around to hear the rest. I turned on my heel and left. I took Charlie and we went to a hotel for the night. The next day I went back to the house just long enough to pack a few of my belongings. He came home while I was packing and tried to convince me that he still loved me. That it had been a horrible mistake and it would never happen again. Nothing he said mattered. He had cheated on me, in my own house no less. I would never be able to trust him again and without trust you have nothing.

I slammed the picture album shut as the rage that I felt that day boiled back up inside me. This is not my fault. He's the one that cheated. He's the one that chose someone else over me.

I wiped the tears off my face angrily. I was done crying over this. He had made his decision and I had made mine. Crying about it wasn't going to change anything.

* * *

><p><em>Woke up late today, and I still feel the sting of the pain.<br>But I brushed my teeth anyway, got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face.  
>I got a little bit stronger.<em>

_Riding in the car to work, and I'm trying to ignore the hurt._  
><em>So I turned on the radio, Stupid song made me think of you,<em>  
><em>I listened to it for minute, but then I changed it.<em>  
><em>I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger.<em>

_And I'm done hoping that we can work it out,_  
><em>I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels<em>  
><em>Letting you drag my heart around.<em>  
><em>And ohhh<em>  
><em>I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.<em>  
><em>I know my heart will never be the same,<em>  
><em>but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.<em>  
><em>Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.<em>

The irony of the Sara Evans song that blasted through my car speakers was not lost on me. Truth be told, I was done, just like she said. I cranked up the volume and sang along.

I had slept fitfully all night, but when dawn broke this morning I had woken with a fresh resolve. Mike and I were over. In all honesty we had been over long before I caught him cheating on me. I had been running full throttle since then. Charlie and I had stayed in a motel for a couple of weeks. Once I managed to pull a transfer from the Seattle plant to the one right outside of Forks, we packed up what little we had and moved. I had found a small house for rent and we had taken it day by day from there.

Normally I'm a person that likes to have a plan. I always know exactly where I'll be a month from now, a year from now, five years from now. Or at least, I always have known, until now. Now I don't know where I'll be tomorrow let alone five years down the road. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me. I know that I can't just keep running blind like I have been for the last four months. I need a plan. I need to take control of my life again.

I managed to make it through work, even though my mind was anywhere but at the paper plant. In my head I was making my plans, exploring possibilities, allowing myself to dream of what my future might hold besides just work, work and more work. I left the building with a little bounce in my step. All in all, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

**EPOV**

Fine. That's what she had said, that she was just fine.

Fine. Whatever. I do have other things going on in my life besides the reappearance of Isabella Swan.

That's what I kept telling myself anyway. I threw myself into my work. There was an audit coming up soon, so I really needed to make sure everything was in order. I spent the day verifying reports and checking inventory and I was surprised to see that the day went by as quickly as it did. When it was quitting time, I headed over to the Pizza Shack. It's tradition. Every Thursday night I meet up with Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper. We've been doing it since high school.

The parking lot was nearly empty. Not a huge surprise there. How the Denali's managed to keep it open was beyond me. As far as I knew, our little group was their sole customer base. The old door creaked on its hinges as it swung open. I could hear Alice and Rose laughing in the corner and I knew they'd be at our usual table. Irina greeted me from the kitchen as I took my coat off and hung it on the metal hook by the door. I sat next to Emmett and joined in the conversation. We were still talking ten minutes later when the creaky front door opened once again. We all turned to see who it was.

It was a young boy. He ran to the other side of the restaurant first and inspected each and every table, systematically sitting in every chair. In no time at all he was at the table next to us. Alice stifled a laugh, but just barely. That's when I took a closer look at the boy and realized that I knew him. It was Charlie.

The front door banged shut and we all looked up to see Bella taking her coat off and hanging it on the hook next to mine.

"Where did you go Charlie?" She asked as she glanced around the small dining room. Her eyes landed on our table and she smiled. Alice waved her over and motioned to the two remaining chairs at the table.

"Bella! I can't believe you came!" She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet when Bella crossed the room towards us.

"Yeah. Thanks for the invite Alice. I just needed to get out of the house, you know?"

"Hi Aunt Alice! I didn't know you were here!" Charlie ran around the table and jumped in Alice's lap. Bella sat in the chair next to Alice. She made Charlie sit in the chair next to me. Okay, that hurt a little.

We spent the next hour talking about nothing in particular. Bella even joined in the conversation and appeared to enjoy herself. Charlie ate his food while running around the table in circles. When the pizza was gone, he asked if he could play video games. She acted like she would say no, then she opened her purse and pulled a five dollar bill out. His eyes lit up and he jumped up and down on the balls of his feet before squeezing her neck and kissing her loudly on the cheek.

As soon as he was on the other side of the room engrossed in a game of video bowling, Rose pinned Bella with one of her infamous stares. Bella's eyes met hers and she held her ground, not so much as flinching under her sharp gaze.

"Okay Bella. Spill it. What happened?" There was a collective gasp from the table, but Bella merely raised her eyebrow and smirked.

"It's okay." She laughed without humor and took another drink of her sweet tea. "You're all wondering it, right?" Nobody denied it. Even Alice didn't know why Bella had moved back to Forks and filed for divorce from her husband of twelve years. She watched Charlie from across the room, making sure not to make eye contact with any of us. I noticed Alice reach under the table to squeeze her hand.

"I caught him with our neighbor. He was fucking her in my shower."

Everyone at the table mumbled something like "sorry" or "ouch" or "fucking douche bag." Okay, that last one was me.

"Did you talk to him about the flowers?" I asked her. She turned her brown eyes on me and held my gaze for an instant before rolling her eyes and sitting back in a huff. She checked to make sure that Charlie was still caught up in his video game before she answered.

"Yeah, so I called him to thank him for the flowers but to tell him it didn't matter, right? He never even gave me the chance, just started going on and on about getting an eviction notice and having his cable shut off. I told him, that's what happens when you don't pay your bills. He actually had the nerve to ask me why I wasn't paying them!"

"You're kidding, right?" Emmett was laughing so hard his Pepsi squirted out his nose.

"I know, right? Fucking lazy ass really expects me to keep paying his bills when I'm not even living there anymore!"

"Men suck, Bella. I swear, if I ever caught Em with someone else I would castrate him for one thing, then I would swear off men for good. Remember the Valentine's party at Jasper's house senior year? I got stuck kissing Tyler during spin-the-bottle and Emmett wouldn't talk to me for two weeks!"

I glanced over at Bella, only to catch her looking at me too. Our eyes locked and everything else disappeared. I knew exactly what she was thinking, because I was thinking it too. Senior year. Valentine's Day party. Alice had dragged her along at her father's insistence. He was worried about her being such a loner. He wanted her to get out more with people her own age. She had sat in the same chair for most of the party, just watching everyone else interact. By that time we were pretty good friends, we worked together, we sat next to each other at school. I'd wager to say I was probably her best friend. When the floor was cleared for spin-the-bottle, she tried to hide in the other room but Alice would have nothing of it. She made Bella sit in that circle. She cringed every time the bottle came close to her.

When it was her turn to spin, she had held her breath until the bottle stopped moving. She didn't even look to see who the bottle was pointing at. She just stood up and walked to the other room and waited. I followed her and closed the door behind me. When she turned to face me she stepped back, startled. "Edward?" she said. "I can't kiss you." The color drained out of her face as she shook her head and took another step back.

"It's just a game, Bella," I told her, even though I knew, for me anyway, that it wasn't true. "Unless you just don't want to kiss me." I gave her my hurt look and puppy-dog eyes.

"We're friends. If we kiss, it might make it weird, you know?" She looked nervous. I couldn't blame her. My palms were sweating and my heart felt like it would beat out of my chest.

"It won't be weird," I assured her. "Besides, you barely know anyone else out there. Would you rather kiss one of them?" She shook her head slowly. I took the opportunity to cover the short distance between us. I gently pushed her brown hair back behind her ears and bent down slowly, brushing my lips against hers. It was a mistake. I knew it from that first moment. As soon as my lips touched hers I knew she had been right. I never should have kissed her.

A pulse of electricity pounded through my body as I covered her mouth with mine and wrapped my arms around her waist. Her hand lifted to caress my neck, her fingers tangled in my hair. My tongue explored her mouth as my hands spread across her back, holding her impossibly close.

She moaned gently into my mouth. Holy shit. To this day, it's the most erotic thing I have ever heard.

I shook my head against the memories and forced myself back to the present.

Mindless chatter was still going on around the table even though it was nearing nine o'clock already. Charlie returned to the table once his video game money had dried up and Bella stood to leave. She thanked everyone for a good evening and promised to come back next Thursday. Her eyes met mine briefly and she gave me a small smile. Then she was gone. I waited only a few minutes before I excused myself and followed her.

I was just opening the door on my Volvo when I noticed that Emmett was following me.

"Headed home?" he asked casually, but there was a deeper question that went unspoken.

"Yeah, I'm calling it a night."

He watched me carefully for a long time before he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You need to watch your step, man. I don't know the details because you've never told me. What I do know is that girl broke your heart into a million pieces when she left without a word. You're setting yourself up to let her do it all over again. You understand that, right?"

I swallowed thickly, letting his words sink in. Emmett had been my best friend since we were kids. He knew that I had his back, just like I knew that he had mine. This was just Emmett telling me to get my head out of my ass. He was right. I knew he was right.

I should just back the fuck off and go on with my life, just like I had before Bella had moved back to Forks. I knew that was right, and I told Em as much before I left the parking lot and drove home.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So now we know what happened with Mike. For those of you who guessed he was cheating on her, you were right. I have a few other unforgiveables as well, like physical abuse and drug/alcohol abuse.

What are your unforgivables?

Next chapter we'll find out why Bella left Forks to begin with...


	5. Closure

**AN:** I don't own Twilight. I know, I'm upset about it too.

Thanks to Jesi and Yenny for beta reading for me. *mwah*

So this is the last chapter of back-story. Who wants to know what really happened between Edward and Bella in high school? Show of hands...

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**That Moment**

**Chapter 5 – Closure**

**BPOV**

The house was quiet finally. Charlie had been bouncing off the walls when we got home from the Pizza Shack. Suffice to say, he had a great time. Now that he was finally asleep, I had a few minutes to myself to reflect on the evening. I'd have to say that I had a great time too. Taking Charlie out to eat had been a change for us. Usually I avoid public places at all costs. But now I'm turning over a new leaf. I've lived too much of my life by keeping to myself. I want to change things up a little bit. I had been surprised to see Alice and everyone else at the restaurant, but it only helped with my mission. Going out to eat with friends? It was actually fun. Imagine my surprise, right?

I just wish Rose hadn't brought up that Valentine's Party. I just knew that Edward was remembering our first kiss at the same time I was. I could feel the electricity humming between us when our eyes met. God, we were so stupid back then. Hell, maybe we still were.

Two weeks after that first kiss Edward had walked me to my truck after work as usual, but instead of letting me open my door he had put his hands on the cab on either side of my head, blocking me in.

"You were right, you know," he had muttered quietly. "That kiss was a huge mistake."

My heart was pounding against my chest as he leaned closer, so close I could feel his breath against my cheek.

"I haven't been able to think about anything else." Oh God. That velvet smooth voice with that husky edge to it did things to my insides that I had only ever read about. Between his voice and the intensity in his eyes, the thread of self-control I had been holding on to snapped. I surged forward, my lips crashing into his. I could feel the heat pooling between my legs as his mouth moved against mine. His hands spread across my back, holding me close. I don't know how long we stood in that darkened parking lot kissing each other like there was no tomorrow. When we finally pulled away, we were both struggling to catch our breath. It was the most honest moment we had ever shared together and it was absolutely perfect.

Then Edward had to ruin it by saying "I'm sorry Bella. I never should have done that."

He was always sorry, afterwards. It never seemed to stop him from kissing me again, though. My eighteen year old brain could never figure out why he insisted that he only wanted to be friends, and yet he made out with me every chance he had. In the stockroom at the grocery store, in the backseat of his Volvo, hell, even in the broom closet at the school. In the following three months, anytime we were alone he was kissing me, touching me, tasting me. And no one ever knew. Still he insisted that we were just friends-with-benefits, no strings attached.

I never had the nerve to tell him that I wanted so much more. It was obvious that he was happy with our arrangement and I was afraid that telling him would classify me as "clingy" or "needy" and he would lose any interest that he had to begin with. Just go with it. That was the better option. So I did. I went along with the "just friends that occasionally make out and grope each other" thing, even when our encounters became more intense.

Every single time Edward made me feel beautiful and sexy and wanted and…alive. I never wanted that feeling to end. But it always did. Every time we separated and he apologized to me I interpreted that apology as regret. Regret that he was with me when he didn't really want to be. Each time I heard it, my heart crumbled just a little bit.

Now that I was older, I looked back on those moments and I wondered to myself, why was he always sorry? And why hadn't I ever asked him? Like I said, I was so fucking stupid back then.

A quiet knock on the door startled me. I looked at the clock quickly and realized it was nearing midnight. I turned the porch light on and looked out the window. My daddy didn't raise a fool, you know. I'm not going to unlock my door at midnight without knowing who it is standing on the other side. I wasn't quite prepared to see Edward standing there, blinking at the sudden light and looking very much like a deer caught in headlights. I hesitated only a moment before unlocking the door and opening it.

How can a man look like hell and look sexy as hell all at the same time? I don't know either, but somehow Edward managed to pull it off. His auburn hair was sticking up all over the place like he had run his fingers through it a million times. His clothes were damp and he was shivering. His green eyes were full of some intense emotion that I would classify as desire. That gaze hit me like a Mack truck. My feet froze to the ground at the same time that my blood started rushing through my veins with an energy that I hadn't felt in a very, very long time. Holy fuck. At this rate I would cum right then and there.

He moved first. He shook his head slightly, breaking eye contact, and ran his fingers through his hair again. When he looked back at me his eyes were softer, almost apologetic. I swallowed deeply. The last thing I needed from Edward Cullen was another apology.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked finally.

"For a while," he admitted. "I should probably go."

"You've been standing on my porch for 'a while' getting up the nerve to knock, and now that you have you're just going to leave? Really?" I opened the door wider and motioned for him to come inside, even though the sane part of my brain was telling me I was out of my fucking mind for doing it. He hesitated only briefly before crossing the threshold and closing the door behind him.

We stood in silence for what felt like forever. His close proximity was clouding my brain, making it difficult to form a coherent thought. The angel on my shoulder was telling me that technically I'm still married and I need to nip this in the bud now. The devil on the other shoulder was telling me that I hadn't been laid in close to six months, and it had been years since I had really good, passionate sex. Maybe we could resume our "no strings attached" arrangement. Right. Because it worked out so well the last time. Mentally I rolled my eyes at myself. Then I forced myself to move away from the door and across the room.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked cordially as I retrieved my own glass of sweet tea and sat down on the couch.

"No." He started pacing in the small living room, mumbling quietly to himself.

"Edward." I tried to get his attention, but he ignored me.

"Edward." I tried again.

"EDWARD!" Finally he stopped and looked in my direction. "Sit down."

He complied, but still seemed agitated.

"What the hell?" If he was having a nervous breakdown in my house, I didn't have the energy to deal with it right now.

He seemed to make up his mind to say whatever it was that had him so twitchy. He moved to the seat next to me and pinned me with those piercing green eyes again. I swear those eyes take my breath away.

"Why did you leave, Bella?"

His voice was low, so quiet I had to strain to hear him. It wasn't a question I had been expecting, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. Despite the energy crackling between us, my blood ran cold. To answer that question truthfully, I would have to come clean about all of my feelings for him. I wasn't sure I was ready to do that just yet.

"You knew I was leaving, Edward." I averted my eyes. I could feel the tears trying to well up so I blinked quickly. "You were with me when I bought my plane ticket. It was no big secret that as soon as high school was over I was out of here."

He nodded slowly and acted like he was going to say something else, but instead he just sighed and sat back against the couch, running his fingers through his hair again. I knew there was still so much that needed to be said between us. I just wasn't sure this was the right time to do it. It was after midnight, Charlie was asleep upstairs, and I had to be at work at seven o'clock in the morning.

"You didn't even say good bye."

I didn't. He was right. He wouldn't understand, would he? How could I tell him that it would have killed me to say good bye to him? How could I explain that he broke my heart with two little words and I had to get away before he realized that it had all meant so much more to me than it did to him?

"I said everything I needed to say that night." I wiped the damn tears from my eyes quickly and took a deep breath. "If I remember right, you said what you needed to say that night too. There wasn't much sense in saying good bye all over again, was there?"

My hands were shaking as he sat forward and leaned closer to me. He took my hands in his and rubbed small circles on my skin with his thumbs. I could feel the tears slowly streaming down my cheeks. For as long as I live I will remember that night. It was after our high school graduation. Emmett threw a big graduation party and between Alice and Edward I was forced to go, even though I really should have been home packing for my flight the next day. I had a drink or two, something I hardly ever did. It gave me just enough courage to find Edward and ask him if he was ready to leave. Once we were in his car, I told him I wasn't ready to go home just yet. It was our last night together and I wanted it to be special.

We drove to his house, but instead of going inside we walked through the woods a short distance to a small clearing. It was a beautiful night, warm and dry, with the moon and stars shining down on us. Edward had a blanket that he spread out across the ground. We both laid back and watched the stars. I'm not sure who moved first, but soon enough we were kissing each other. I tried to pour all of my feelings for him into each kiss.

Clothing was removed piece by piece until we were both lying there naked. We had already experimented with oral sex, so we were familiar with each other's bodies. But we had never been skin to skin like this before. Edward rolled me onto my back and gazed into my eyes before he leaned in and kissed me slowly. His hand skimmed across my breasts and my stomach and came to rest right over my sex. His fingertip probed gently into my slick folds and I moaned into his mouth.

"Fuck, Bella. You are so wet." His low growl against my ear elicited another moan from my throat. I lifted my hips so that his finger would delve deeper inside. In doing so, my leg brushed against his erection. He hissed in response. I did it again, just to see if I could get the same reaction. This time he growled and repositioned himself so that the head of his penis was right at my opening. His eyes searched mine, asking for permission.

"I want you inside me Edward."

He surged forward, taking everything I was offering him. My innocence. My virginity. My heart. Pleasure and pain seared through me on that initial thrust. The pain dissipated until it was gone completely. The pleasure remained, growing in intensity with every motion, building up the pressure in my stomach until I thought I would explode. Finally the orgasm ripped through me and I screamed out as the waves of pleasure rolled over my body. Edward came right after I did and collapsed next to me on the blanket.

Neither of us said a word for a long time. Eventually I rolled over and draped my arm over his chest. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my forehead. He lightly traced designs on my bare back with his fingertips and I could feel myself drifting off to sleep, perfectly content with the bliss of the moment.

Now, fourteen years later, it was replaying in my mind like it was yesterday. Edward cleared his throat and I refocused my attention on the here and now. He was still holding on to my hands, looking at me like he was confused.

"We didn't say anything that night, Bella." His eyebrows were furrowed in thought and he shook his head slowly. "We both fell asleep. I woke up the next day alone; naked as the day I was born, with Carlisle standing over top of me spraying water on my face. And you were gone. Like really gone. I never heard from you again."

I tried not to laugh at the picture of Carlisle finding Edward naked and alone in the field. Instead I pulled one of my hands free to wipe the stupid tears off my face and I closed my eyes, still not really sure if I wanted to do this now or not. But it seemed like now was as good a time as any and we were both here and willing to talk about it, so why not. Right?

I dropped my hand back down to meet his. I felt more grounded with the physical contact, even if a piece of my mind was telling me to back away slowly.

"I never fell asleep that night." I looked him in the eye when I said it, waiting for him to realize what I was saying. He didn't catch on, so I continued. "You thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. I was just lying there with you, enjoying the moment." I hesitated, not sure if I could say it out loud, not sure where it would leave us if I did. So much time had passed now it's not like it really mattered anymore. It's not like we were going to just pick up where we left off. No, but maybe by talking it through we could both get some closure. I took a deep breath, determined to say those words that had shattered my already fractured heart into a million pieces. "Then you whispered 'What have we done, Bella? I don't think we can be friends anymore, not after this. I'm sorry." 

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Okay, this is where you click the review button and tell me what you think. ;o)

And sorry for the long time between updates. I have no excuse. The next chapter will be posted shortly. 


	6. Frustrations

**AN: **I don't own Twilight. Sad, I know.

Thanks to Jes and Yenny for beta reading. You guys rock. *mwah* And thanks to those of you that are reading and reviewing. I obsessively check my inbox looking for new reviews and every one puts a smile on my face. Just sayin. :o)

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**That Moment**

**Chapter 6 - Frustrations**

**EPOV**

The alarm on my cell phone was obnoxiously singing in my ear. I could hear raindrops hitting my bedroom window. I lay perfectly still, staring at the ceiling. I had gotten home around two o'clock in the morning, and hadn't gotten a moment's sleep since then.

I tried to explain it to her. I tried to tell her that I had meant we couldn't be _just_ friends anymore, that we were so much more than that. She wouldn't hear me out. She just insisted that she had dealt with it and moved on a long time ago and she had bigger things to worry about now. She was probably right. After all, hadn't I dealt with her leaving a long time ago too? Hadn't I gotten over it eventually and moved on with my life? I thought I had. Then she had walked into that damn classroom.

God help me, I wanted to kiss her good night. I wanted to tell her that I had loved her and that she broke my heart when she left. I couldn't do it. The words wouldn't mean anything after this much time. I couldn't expect us to pick up where we left off fourteen years ago. I knew that. We weren't the same people that we were back then. Still, I had always been drawn to Bella. There was something about her that made me want to protect her.

I didn't kiss her good night. I did pull her into my arms and held her for as long as I could. She had nuzzled into my chest and held me just as tightly. I itched to feel her in my arms again. We came to an agreement before I left. We agreed that if we could put the past behind us, then we could be friends again. I programmed my number into her cell phone and made her promise that if she ever needed anything she would call.

I finally managed to roll my ass out of bed and take a hot shower. Thank God it was Friday and I only had a few appointments in the morning. It was still going to be a long fucking day. Four more kids with flu, two pap-smears and a broken arm later and I was finally signing out for the weekend. I felt like a damn zombie and had every intention of going straight home and back to bed.

**BPOV**

Friday morning came to damn early. Work dragged ass and I was finding it extremely difficult to focus on anything. My thoughts kept bouncing around, refusing to stay on the same path for more than a few minutes at a time. My main distraction was the impending drive to Seattle. I had to take Charlie to see Mike tonight, and I was not looking forward to it at all. First of all, I had barely any sleep and it was a long drive. Second, it was bad enough talking to him on the phone, seeing him was even worse. I never knew which Mike I would be getting. Would it be the sweet Mike that had sent me flowers and claimed to still love me? Or would it be the Mike that wanted to kick my ass because I didn't pay his rent and his cable bill? With him it was always a crapshoot.

The drive was, as predicted, long and boring. Charlie spent the time playing his DS and jabbering on to himself about who knows what. Occasionally he would ask me a question and tell me something he had learned in school. When we finally pulled up in front of the house, he jumped out of the car and ran to the front door. I followed behind at a slower pace, taking his overnight bag with me. As I walked up the front steps, the door opened and a redhead stepped out onto the porch. I froze in place as I saw her. When her eyes met mine she had the decency to look away.

"Victoria." My voice was flat. I refused to let any emotion show through as I looked at the woman that had wrecked my marriage. She nodded my direction and mumbled something under her breath before walking quickly towards her own house.

"Bella." My eyes were redirected to the porch when I heard my name. Mike was standing there watching me with his arms crossed over his chest. I could feel the anger boiling up inside me. I held it there.

"Did you sign the papers?" I asked as I handed him Charlie's bag.

"I read through them, but I want Eric to take a look before I sign anything." I figured as much. Eric was Mike's brother and attorney. I would expect him to look it over before signing.

"Whatever. It's pretty straightforward. I want my car and full custody of Charlie. You can see him every other weekend during the school year and we can work something out that's fair for holidays and summer vacations. You can have everything else. I don't want any of it."

He studied me for a long time. His blue eyes were resigned as he measured my resolve and finally realized I wasn't backing down. This time he had gone too far. It was over.

"It said that you don't want child support." It was more of a question than a statement.

I nodded in agreement. What I didn't say was "you never supported us when we were married, why would I expect you to start now?" Mike had spent the last three years hoping the economy would turn around and he would get his job back. We all knew it wouldn't happen, but he wouldn't give up and go find something else. So in the meantime I was working two jobs trying to make ends meet and he was working odd jobs whenever he could.

We stood in awkward silence for a few more minutes before Charlie came running out the door and asked if he could ride his bike in the back yard. I gave him a hug and a kiss and promised to pick him up on Sunday. It almost broke my heart all over again when he asked me why I couldn't just stay with them for the weekend.

It wasn't until I had gotten out of the city and I was driving along the rural highway that I let my anger boil over. She was at the house. Again. That asshole was still fucking her.

By the time I made it back to Forks it was late, pitch black outside and pouring down rain. I pulled into my driveway and stared at the empty house. My leg was bouncing up and down with nervous energy. Anger still coursed through my veins. I didn't want to be alone right now. I needed a distraction. I picked my cell phone up off the seat next to me and scrolled through until I found the number I needed. I stared at his name for a long time before I finally hit the 'talk' button and lifted it to my ear. It rang once, twice, three times before he answered.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the phone was groggy. He sounded like he was asleep.

"Edward? Did I wake you?" I looked at the clock. It wasn't that late. Not even ten o'clock yet.

"It's okay. I was just taking a nap. Shit. I didn't mean to sleep this late!" I could hear him moving around in the background. I assumed he was getting out of bed. "What's up?"

Now that I had him on the other end of the line, I hesitated. This probably wasn't such a good idea. I was still sitting in my car, staring at my empty house.

"Bella?"

I took a shaky breath and counted to five inside my head before I answered him.

"I could really use a friend tonight, Edward."

Fifteen minutes later I had changed into a pair of jeans and a light brown sweater. I ran a brush through my hair and put on a light layer of make up. It's not like I was going on a date or anything, but I still wanted to look nice. Nothing wrong with that, right? I had just finished applying some lip-gloss when I heard the knock on my door.

Edward looked absolutely delicious in his blue jeans and black t-shirt. He had on a leather jacket and work boots that made him look more like a biker than a doctor. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Okay, I wasn't thinking. I was just relieved that he was there. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. His arms immediately circled my waist and held me tightly. I could spend all night right there in his arms.

My stomach growled loudly, reminding me that I hadn't eaten dinner yet. I let him take my hand and lead me to his car. He opened the door for me and closed it after I was situated. When he took his place in the driver's seat, his hand found mine yet again. He took me to a small Italian restaurant at the edge of town. It was late enough in the evening that the dining room was nearly deserted. The waitress sat us at a small booth in the corner. Edward slid into the seat next to me and rested his hand on my thigh. The energy that coursed through my body from that small touch almost made me moan out loud.

We ordered our food and settled back to wait. His fingers were lightly drawing designs on my inner thigh. Good lord. How long had it been since I had sex? Too fucking long. My hand found his under the table and lifted his fingers off of me.

"Stop that," I whispered as I moved his hand from my knee to his. "When I said I needed a friend, I meant a real friend, Edward. You know, the kind of friend that talks to you or keeps you company when you're depressed or just really pissed off." My eyes met his and I silently pleaded for him to understand. He nodded slowly and sat back. Sadly, his hands remained to himself the rest of dinner.

We sat in silence until the waitress brought our drinks. She was obviously flirting with him, trying to catch his eye, leaning over the table just enough that you could see down her shirt. It was borderline pathetic. I had to stifle a laugh when she walked away from the table completely disappointed. He hadn't even looked at her.

"Okay, there's something I have to ask. It's been driving me crazy all week." He raised his eyebrow and waited for me to continue. "Why are you taking an algebra class at a community college? You're a doctor, right? Didn't they cover algebra in med school?"

"Emmett." He chuckled, but didn't elaborate.

"What about him?" I was pretty sure that wasn't an answer to my question.

"Emmett got laid off from the mill last summer. As part of his severance, they agreed to pay for him to obtain a two-year degree. Well, you know Em, he was never very good at school the first time around, so he was nervous about going back. He wasn't going to do it at all. I told him if he'd go back to school I would take one class a quarter with him. Fall quarter I took an English class and winter quarter we did Biology."

The waitress delivered our food and tried one more attempt at flirting with Edward. I glared at her until she gave up and left. Really, how rude is that?

"So why did you choose Finite Math for this quarter then? Most people avoid Finite at all costs. You're taking it willingly just for the hell of it?"

"It was the only class on Em's schedule that I could fit in my schedule. And I heard the teacher was hot, so yeah." He smiled and winked at me. Okay, that was laughable at best. Hot? Me? Yeah, right.

We continued talking through dinner. I told him about seeing Victoria at Mike's house. Once I started talking about it, I couldn't stop. All of my heartache and frustration over the last six months, hell even the last twelve years, came pouring out. I told him everything. When I was finished, that familiar anger was pounding through me again. Anger at Mike. Anger at myself. Anger at the whole damn world.

"What do you do to relax, you know, in your free time?" He asked me finally.

"Free time? What the hell is that?" I laughed, but I really wasn't kidding. "I work two jobs, I have a house and bills to take care of, and in case you didn't notice I also have an obscenely energetic nine year old to keep up with. I used to do karate, but it's been months."

We shared some more small talk as we finished dinner. When we left the table, Edward put his hand on the small of my back and guided me out the door. Our waitress was watching us, so I made sure to wink at her before we left. It's not like Edward and I were together or anything, but she didn't need to know that. We left the restaurant and drove across town. Edward pulled the car into a private drive and parked in front of a split-level ranch house. It was dark, only the porch light glowed through the rain. He pushed a button and the garage door opened slowly. Then he pulled the Volvo in and closed the door behind us.

"Come on. You need an outlet." He opened the door for me and I stepped past him into the house.

"An outlet?" My imagination was running wild, and most of the scenarios I was coming up with were X rated. I had to keep reminding myself that wasn't why I was here.

"Oh yeah. You have got some quality anger going on there, Bella." He chuckled to himself as he led me down stairs to the basement and flipped the light on. We were standing in a gym. He had a treadmill, a weight bench, and a punching bag. In the middle of the room there was a square laid out in black tape. On the far wall there was a display plaque. Below the plaque were eight karate belts, ranging in color from white to black.

"Here, put these on." He threw a pair of hand guards my way.

"You want to spar?" I wasn't sure if I liked the idea or despised it. It had been months since I had been to a karate class, and I had never been fond of the hand-to-hand sparring.

"You said you're a red belt, right?" He took his shoes and socks off and set them aside. I hesitated for a minute before following suit. I took my shoes and socks off. I tied my hair back and I put the hand guards on.

I stood facing him in the ring and we bowed to each other. I went into a fighting stance and let him take the offensive. It took a few minutes for me to settle back into the rhythm of fighting. Block. Punch. Block. Kick. Block. Back fist, reverse. Block. Sidekick. I let myself fall into the rhythm. I lost myself in the motions.

"That's it, Bella." Edward was saying. "Now imagine that I'm Mike."

My vision turned red. I attacked fiercely. I let the tension drain from my body. I let the anger seep out through my kicks and my punches. I could feel myself wearing down when suddenly my feet were swept from beneath me. I reached out instinctively and grabbed Edward's arm. As I fell, I pulled him down with me. I landed on my back with him on top of me, effectively knocking the wind out of my lungs.

I struggled to regain my breath and realized that Edward was still on top of me. He was sweating and breathing hard. His green eyes met mine and he smiled. Then he started to laugh.

"Damn Bella. Remind me to never piss you off!"

I looked up into those green eyes and I laughed along with him. I was hot and sweaty and exhausted. Despite that, I felt great.

"Feel better?" he asked as he brushed some loose hair off my face. I pulled the hand guards off and flexed my fingers as I thought about his question. I did feel better. I felt more relaxed, lighter even. How did he know I needed that release?

"I do."

The feel of his body against mine was doing things to me that I hadn't felt in years. His fingers brushed my cheek lightly then traveled down my neck, across my shoulder and down my side, lightly brushing over my breast before his hand came to rest on my hip. Electricity shot out from his fingertips, sending tingles across my skin and igniting a desire in me that I had forgotten even existed. I caught my breath as I gazed into his green eyes, which had become darker with passion.

He leaned his forehead against mine. I could tell he was fighting the same internal battle that I was. The battle between what I wanted to do and what I should do. I should go home. Right fucking now. The look in Edward's eyes was telling me that he wanted the same thing I wanted. I was pretty sure that if one of us made a move, the other wouldn't be able to resist. The sexual tension that surrounded us was palpable.

"This isn't fair, Edward," I whispered, more to myself than to him. "I'm not looking for a relationship." I traced his jawbone gently with my fingertips before pushing my fingers into that thick auburn hair of his. His eyelids drifted closed and he gasped. His head dipped down, his lips brushed against my neck and sent cold chills down my spine.

"Neither am I, Bella. But I won't deny that I want you. I've always wanted you." His lips closed against the soft skin of my neck and he sucked it gently into his mouth. I gasped at the sensation that coursed through my body. My hands pulled his neck closer, my leg lifted to rub against his. He released his hold on my neck, kissing and licking his way up to my ear. "Let me show you how much I want you, Bella." He whispered roughly into my ear. His hips dropped down to meet mine and I felt the hard proof of his desire against my thigh.

"Oh God," I moaned as his hand cupped my ass and squeezed. I was too far-gone. The second his lips had touched me I knew, it was impossible to resist. I needed this. I needed him. "Show me, Edward." He growled. He fucking growled before his mouth covered mine. My lips moved with his. My hands tangled in his hair. My legs wrapped around his waist. He wasn't close enough. Not nearly close enough.

He broke away from me long enough to lift my sweater over my head and unbutton my jeans. He stood then, pulling me up with him into his arms. He kissed me again as his hands roamed my back, finding my bra and unhooking the clasp. The satin and lace fell to the floor, forgotten. I found the hem of his shirt and tugged it up and over his head, marveling at the beauty of his muscles. My fingers traced each one. My mouth wasn't far behind. His hands dipped into my waistband, his fingers gripped my ass tightly.

"Fuck me!" I hissed as my head fell back in ecstasy.

"I intend to," Edward promised as he released my flesh and shoved my pants and panties to the floor. "Do you have any idea how many ways I want to fuck you, Bella?" He turned me around so my back was to him. I inhaled sharply as his hands ghosted over my bare breasts. His lips were on my neck again. Kissing. Sucking. Licking. On the next pass with his hands he pinched my nipples between his finger and thumb and squeezed lightly just as he sucked the skin of my neck into his mouth. I screamed out as a fresh wave of arousal hit me. I was dripping wet and close to an orgasm and he hadn't even touched me there yet. When he stepped back I whimpered from the loss of his touch, only to feel him behind me again, this time I could feel his rock hard erection against my ass. My hands reached back and gripped his bare flesh, holding him as close to me as I could.

"Are you ready for me Bella?" he asked as his hands dipped between my legs and found the hot, wet center of my being. "Oh fuck baby! You are so fucking wet!"

He lifted his fingers up to show me the moisture that was glistening there. I gave him a wicked little smile before pulling his fingers into my mouth. He groaned as I sucked every last drop off of him.

He led me across the room to the weight bench. I leaned over the weight bar and placed one knee on the bench, sticking my ass out before I looked back over my shoulder and met his hungry eyes. His hand wrapped in my hair while the other wrapped around my waist. He positioned himself at my entrance, and then he stopped, waiting, teasing. I moved my hips back and forth a little bit.

"Come on Edward. Fuck me like you want to fuck me."

Again with that growl. I swear it's my new favorite sound in the world. He growled, and then he plunged into my core. He pumped into me hard and fast. It was the culmination of the last several years of sexual frustration. It was pure passion, pure desire, pure animalistic need that drove him into me over and over again. Each stroke sent me closer. The pressure was building at an incredible pace and it was only a matter of time before I lost all control.

"Fuck Bella!" He groaned and I knew that he was close.

"Don't stop Edward! I'm so close. Don't stop!" I wanted to lose control. For once in my life I needed to lose control. He kept pumping into me, each slap of skin building more and more pressure until I felt sure I would explode. He lifted both hands around me and grabbed my breasts, his fingers squeezing my nipples hard, sending a sharp pain and intense pleasure through my body. I screamed his name as wave after wave of my release washed over me.

He pushed into me once more with a loud grunt followed by my name falling from his lips over and over again as he spilled into me.

When both of our bodies had finally stilled, I sat down, a bit shaky, on the bench. I could barely hold myself up. It was like all the bones in my body were gone. Edward sat next to me and put his arms around me, holding me tight, making sure I didn't fall.

Oh my fucking God. What the hell did I just do? 

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> I don't know about you, but I need a cold shower now. Hit the little 'review' button and let me know what you think. 


	7. Honesty

**AN: I don't own Twilight, but I do have a massive Fanfiction addiction. It's a disease. I just can't stop reading...or in this case writing. :o)**

**Thanks again to Jesi and Yenny. You guys rock.**

**I've had quite a few new alert notices. Please leave a review and let me know what you like or don't like about the story.**

**That Moment**

**Chapter 7 - Honesty**

**BPOV**

In my dream I had been on a beach, listening to the waves lapping against the shore, stretched out across a towel and completely relaxed without a care in the world. As the dream world faded away, I became aware of my surroundings. Rain was tapping against the window. The bed was incredibly soft. I was enveloped in warmth. Something was lying across me. No, not something. Someone.

Oh shit.

Memories of last night flooded through me. I could almost feel my face burning as I remembered how bold I had been. Sex with Edward was unlike any sex I'd ever had with Mike. Okay, I know it's not right to compare, but seriously. I had an orgasm. During intercourse! Hello! Never with Mike. Ever. Usually he wouldn't even take the time to make sure I came. He would just roll over and fall asleep. Just remembering the way Edward's hands felt on my body or the tone of his voice as he told me he wanted me sent chills through my body. That was, without a doubt, the most erotic experience of my entire life.

I opened my eyes slowly and took in my surroundings. The last thing I could remember was sitting on the weight bench in Edward's arms. He must have carried me to his bedroom. Gray light filtered through the blinds on the window, illuminating the room just enough that I could see. The room was almost empty. There was a dresser against the wall and the bed that I was lying in. The bed itself was insanely comfortable. It was covered in white cotton sheets and a black bedspread that was loosely covering my naked body. An arm wrapped around my stomach and held me securely against the sleeping form next to me. Edward. The sight of him lying beside me made my heart skip a beat. His auburn hair was sticking out in every direction. Sex hair. Mine. My fingers twitched of their own accord. I wanted to feel his hair again. His face was completely relaxed as he slept. I couldn't help myself. I lifted my hand up slowly and ran my fingers over his jawbone lightly. He moaned softly in his sleep, but didn't move.

Carefully I lifted his arm off of me and rolled off the bed. I padded quietly to the bathroom door and closed it softly behind me. One look in the mirror told me that my hair was not going to brush out easily. I needed conditioner and lots of it. I flipped the water on in the shower and waited for the steam to roll out. As I stood under the spray, all I could think of was Edward. And sex. And sex with Edward. Oh my god. I am so freaking screwed. Just thinking of him was making me wet.

I stepped out of the steam and dried the water off my skin. I flipped my head forward and wrapped the towel around my hair. Then I grabbed another dry towel and wrapped it around my chest. I turned towards the bedroom and placed my hand on the doorknob. Suddenly the door opened from the other side quickly. I jumped back and caught my breath. My hand flew to my heart, which I'm pretty sure had stopped beating.

"Bella?"

"Who the fuck do you think it is, Edward? You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry," he said almost sheepishly, running his fingers through his hair. "When I woke up and you weren't there, I thought maybe..." He trailed off and his eyes were pointedly avoiding me. It took me a minute to catch on to what he was saying. Then I had to smile.

"You thought I waited for you to fall asleep and then got myself up and walked five miles home alone in the middle of the night?" I laughed at how ridiculous it sounded to me now. "I have news for you, Edward. I'm not eighteen anymore. I'd probably die of a heart attack halfway there. I'll just wait for a ride this time around if that's okay with you."

He ran his fingers through his hair and released a breath that I didn't realize he had been holding. I took the towel off my hair and let the wet locks drape over my shoulders.

"Did you leave my clothes downstairs or did you bring them up last night?" I asked him. He was still staring at me so I waved my hand in front of his eyes to snap him out of it. He blinked a couple of times and shook his head.

"No. They're still downstairs." He said finally before stepping past me and turning the shower back on. He stepped into the steam and closed the door behind him. I used his hairbrush to try to brush the tangles out of my hair. It was almost hopeless. By the time I had pulled the brush through all of my hair, Edward was done in the shower and had toweled off. My eyes caught his in the mirror. He was standing behind me in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

There was so much I wanted to say to him in that moment. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for using him last night. I wanted to thank him for giving me the most incredible sex of my life. I wanted to taste him one more time before I had to leave. I wanted to feel him inside me again, just to prove that it hadn't all been a dream.

He put his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my head. I sank back against his chest and covered his hands with my own. He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes.

"You know this isn't going to end well, right?" I asked him quietly.

"It's a damn train wreck waiting to happen." He agreed. I lifted my arms up and wrapped my hands behind his neck, holding him to me.

"Make me a promise, Edward." His eyes opened and met mine through the reflection in the mirror. "I need you to be completely honest with me, no matter what. No lies. No half-truths. No telling me what you think I want to hear. Promise me that?" I gripped his hair tightly, knowing that if he couldn't agree I would have to walk out the door and never look back.

"Sooo, if you ask me if that dress makes you look fat or something..." He trailed off, a silly smirk on his face. I smacked the back of his head and laughed.

"Yes, I want you to tell me if I look fat. You know that's not what I mean."

"If you'll make the same promise, then absolutely." I lifted my chin as he lowered his. Our lips met in the middle. The kiss started off slow. He lazily swiped his tongue through my mouth. I gently sucked on his lower lip. The longer our mouths moved against each other, the more passionate it became. I inhaled deeply and heard myself moan against his mouth. He pulled back then, breathing heavily.

"Complete honesty, right?" I nodded in response.

"Then honestly, Bella, I want to be inside you. Right now." He whispered roughly in my ear. I'm pretty sure I came just at the husky sound of his voice. I whimpered as his lips made their way down my throat to my shoulder. The towel that had been wrapped around my chest fell to the floor with one gentle tug. His hands skimmed over my stomach. His left hand moved up to cup my breast while his right hand dropped down to my core. He inhaled sharply when his fingers slid easily through the wetness that had pooled between my legs. He teased my entrance with his fingertips until I groaned in frustration. "You want that too, don't you baby?"

Oh shit. There were so many things I wanted from him. So many fantasies that he could make into reality. For now, though, there was only one thing I wanted. One thing I needed from him. I pulled his lips back to mine and kissed him roughly, working up the courage to ask him for that one thing. While his tongue explored my mouth, his fingers dipped inside me and I gasped from the pleasure.

"I want you to make me cum while you're inside me. I want you to feel what you do to me." I whispered in his ear. He responded by kissing me even harder and turning my body around so we were facing each other. His hands wrapped around my ass and lifted me off the ground, setting me down on the counter.

"I would never leave you unsatisfied." He growled against my mouth.

"You certainly didn't last night."

His eyes flashed and he smirked at me before dropping his head down so he could run his tongue across my breast, teasing the hardened tip and sending chills through my body.

"Does that surprise you, Bella? Did you expect me to get off and leave you wanting?" He almost sounded angry. His hand dropped to my thigh and his thumb grazed roughly across my clit. I couldn't keep the moan of anticipation from escaping my lips.

"Yes." He shoved two fingers inside me. His mouth was wrapped around my breast, his teeth scraped against my skin as he growled.

"I've never…during sex." I gasped as he shoved three fingers inside me. His mouth reclaimed mine in a passionate kiss that took my breath away.

"Are you telling me that your ex never satisfied you?" He positioned his hard cock at my entrance and filled me in one swift movement.

"Fuck!" I threw my head back. He licked my exposed throat as he pulled out and shoved into me again. Each thrust was harder, deeper.

"Never." My fingernails dug into his shoulders. I closed my eyes, embarrassed by my admission. I felt the sensations pulsing from my core as Edward pressed into me again and again. "Only you Edward. You're the only one." Fuck. Did I say that part out loud?

"Open your eyes, baby." I did. I found myself staring into green eyes that were now hooded with passion and desire. My heart skipped a beat as I felt the intensity in his eyes. "I want you to look at me when I make you cum."

"I'm so close Edward." It felt like I was pleading with him, begging him to give me this release. He leaned down and kissed me before he pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine. We kept eye contact as he pushed into me again. My walls were pulsing with need. My whole body was screaming for release.

"Cum for me Bella." His thumb rubbed across my clit as he pushed into me one more time, hard and fast. "Just for me, baby." That was it. I tumbled over the edge, crying out as my walls tightened around him almost painfully. He lost control too, filling me as he came. He remained inside me as the aftershocks rolled through me, slowly pushing in and pulling out again and again. Our eyes remained locked together the whole time. When our bodies finally stilled, he lifted his hands to my face, pushing my hair back over my shoulders and cupping my cheeks in his hands. His lips met mine again in a soft lingering kiss that sent tingles of energy coursing through my body.

**EPOV**

What the fuck was I doing? I had to keep asking myself that question over and over because she was right. This was going to end badly. It had to.

I splashed cold water on my face, hoping that would shock some of the lust out of my body. It didn't work. As soon as I walked back into the bedroom and saw her standing there in one of my t-shirts and a pair of my boxers, all I wanted was to make love...I mean have sex with her again. She would be the death of me, I'm sure.

"Sorry," she said with a smile when she saw me staring at her. "I'm not exactly comfortable walking around your house naked, and all my clothes are downstairs."

My brain wouldn't even work enough to answer her. All I could do was watch her as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked out of the bedroom.

Get a fucking grip, Cullen. I took several deep breaths before pulling on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. I followed her out of the bedroom and started walking down the stairs when I heard a noise coming from one of the empty rooms down the hall. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, listening. Did she get lost looking for the stairway? I found her in one of the empty bedrooms. She was running her fingers across the built in bookshelves.

"Did you get lost?"

"Hey!" She whirled around quickly and smiled. God she had a beautiful smile. It lit up the whole room. "Sorry, I was just curious. This room is wonderful!" I looked around and tried to see what she saw. To me it was just another empty room that I had to pay the cleaning lady to dust and vacuum. I guess I could see the enchantment, though. She was obviously taken with the bookcases that were built in to the side wall from floor to ceiling. There was a window seat set into a large bay window that over looked the back yard. This room also had it's own private bath that was almost as big as the one in my room.

"How long have you lived here?" She sat down on the window seat and curled her feet underneath. Her brown eyes locked on mine and it felt like she was reading my soul. Not something I allowed many to do.

"Two and a half years. Why?"

Her eyes shot up in surprise.

"Two and a half years? Really?"

I joined her on the window seat and stared out the window.

"Edward." She placed her hand on mine and squeezed gently. "You have three rooms that are completely empty. Your room has no personal touches. Are you sure you live here at all?"

This is the part where I brush her off, tell her that it's all good, I just work too much and haven't had time, yada, yada, yada. She wanted complete honesty and for some reason I wanted to give her that. She had been honest with me about her ex, right? So I might as well return the favor.

"I hate this house." I told her quietly. Her hand squeezed mine tighter. "Carmen picked it out. I told her it was to big for just the two of us, but that was Carmen, you know? It was the biggest and best house on the market so she had to have it." I ran my fingers through my hair and shook and my head.

"I wanted to give her what she wanted and I could afford it, so I bought it for her. The day after the closing, she told me she was leaving me. She ran off with some Canadian hockey player."

"Ouch." Bella winced. "How long had you been together?"

"Four years." She leaned against my shoulder and wrapped her arm around my waist. "She was just the last in a long line of them. I don't know what it is about me that makes women want to run away screaming. Anyway, after Carmen I decided it just wasn't worth it. Love doesn't really exist and it isn't meant for me to be happy. I kept the house as a reminder. This is what happens when you follow your heart."

"Listen to you, Cullen. You're just as big a cynic as I am." She chuckled lightly and squeezed my waist. I held her a little tighter in response. "I guess we've both been burned one to many times, huh?"

My ringing cell phone cut off the conversation. I looked at the screen to see that it was my mom calling. While I answered the phone, Bella left the room, giving me some privacy. The phone call was short. She was making sure that I was going to make it out for lunch. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as soon as she asked. She knew I always came for lunch on Saturdays. Why would today be any different? I could hear it in her tone, though. She had something up her sleeve. Another one of her attempts to set me up, no doubt. Even though I had given up on love didn't mean she had given up on having grandchildren some day.

Bella entered the room then, fully clothed unfortunately, and inspiration hit me. She understood that I didn't want a girlfriend any more than she would want a boyfriend. It was perfect, really.

"Mom." I had to interrupt her because she was going a mile a minute. "Would you mind if I brought a friend for lunch today?" Bella's eyes widened, but I held my hand up to signal her to hold on. On the other end of the line, Esme was stunned silent. Finally she muttered that of course it would be okay. I knew as soon as she hung up the phone she would be calling whomever her mystery guest was and canceling. Thank God.

Bella was openly glaring at me.

"Hear me out." I knew I was going to have to sell this to her in order to make it work. I took a deep breath. "My mom thinks I need someone in my life and she's determined to push every eligible woman in Forks on me until I find someone."

Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?"

Okay, I admit it, it sounded better in my head.

"Take me home Edward." She turned around and stomped out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I caught up with her in the living room.

"Bella, wait!"

"Complete honesty, Edward, does not mean pretending to be something that we're not. I'm sorry, but no."

Fire flashed in her eyes.

"I don't want you to pretend to be anything. Just come to lunch with me. My mom won't push someone on me while you're there. Please, Bella."

She eyed me warily. She was probably trying to decide if I had a hidden agenda or not, and knowing Bella she was running through all possible implications of having lunch with my parents. I put my hands on her waist and kissed her forehead before tilting her chin up slightly so she was looking in my eyes.

"I could really use a friend right now, Bella." I whispered the same words she had said to me last night. She chuckled and laid her head against my chest.

"You are such an ass." She laughed as she said it, so I knew she was just joking. "Fine, I'll have lunch with your parents. I want you to know ahead of time, I think this is a really bad idea. I've got a bad feeling about this Edward. I mean it."

Relief flooded through me just knowing that I would not have to face the firing squad alone today. Every weekend it was the same thing. They would tell me that I work to hard, that I'm only getting older and that I really needed to get out there and find someone to spend my life with. Then they would play the guilt card and tell me that they wanted grandchildren before they died. It was unfair and more than a little uncomfortable.

I was so focused on saving myself from that particular conversation that I never stopped to think that Bella could be right. That this truly was a bad idea. By the time I came to that realization it was far to late. The damage had been done and there was no going back. 

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><p><strong>AN: So what do you guys thinks? Reviews make my day. :o)<strong>


	8. Foundations

AN: Thanks to all of you that are reading. Sorry for the delay on this update. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner rather than later.

Thanks to Jesi and Yenny for beta reading for me. I 3 you both!

I don't own Twilight. I do own a Kindle with many vampire love stories saved on it.

**That Moment**

**Chapter 8 – Foundations**

**BPOV**

Lunch with the Cullen's was almost as bad as I had predicted it would be. Esme, Edwards' mother, immediately dismissed me as nothing more than a friend. Actually that was fine with me, except for the fact that she spent a good hour trying to convince Edward to go on a date with someone named Kate. She kept going on about how he didn't need to be alone and he should get back out there. What the hell does that even mean? I've been hearing the same load of shit from my own mom for four months now. While I agreed with Esme that he deserved to be happy, I couldn't agree with her assumption that Kate would be "perfect" for him. Just the thought of him going on a date with someone else pissed me off. Ridiculous, right? Like I had some kind of claim on him or something. One night with him did not make him mine. I didn't even want that. Not even close.

Carlisle finally managed to make her stop going on and on about wanting grandchildren by asking me about my dad. I'd much rather listen to Esme than talk about the Chief. I had called to tell him that I was leaving Mike. He wouldn't even listen to me. He just mumbled something about me being just like my mother and that was it.

My mother, Renee, left my dad when I was seven because she wanted to find herself. In reality she wanted to travel the country, moving from town to town and boyfriend to boyfriend, dragging me along for the ride. She finally settled in Phoenix with some baseball player. That's when I said enough was enough and moved to Forks to live with the Chief. Renee had never held a steady job. She had never taken care of me. Thank God I knew how to work a microwave or I would have starved to death before I turned eight years old. To hear my dad compare me to her because I told him I was leaving Mike just pissed me off. That was hitting way below the belt if you ask me. I hadn't talked to him since then and truly had no intentions of doing so. As far as I was concerned, he didn't even need to know that I transferred to Forks and had been living there for months.

When I told Carlisle that we hadn't spoken in a while, he got this weird look on his face. Then he spent the next hour trying to convince me to give him a call. I was so glad when Edward said he had to leave for his shift at the hospital, I almost kissed him right there in Esme's sitting room.

Once we were away from the firing squad, Edward apologized repeatedly for not believing me when I told him what a bad idea it was in the first place. I blew him off as much as possible. It's not like we could change it now anyway.

After he dropped me off at home, I had all this pent up nervous energy coursing through my body. I put it to good use. I cleaned the house, washed laundry, paid bills, prepared my tests for the upcoming week and walked on my treadmill. The house was so quiet without Charlie there. I was used to him playing cars on the living room floor or watching television or playing video games. Even though he kept himself busy with those types of things, he would also be constantly talking to me, asking me questions, wanting to show me that he won the race on his game, whatever. He never stopped talking. With the house so quiet and all my chores done, it was the perfect time to curl up on the couch and read. I took a shower and put on a sleep tank and matching shorts before settling in with my Kindle and reading Midnight Breed.

I get so caught up when I read. It's like I'm transported to another time, another place and the world around me disappears. Time stands still as I read the words and picture the images so clearly in my mind. I was right in the middle of a particularly angst filled scene between Tegan and Elise when a knock on my door startled me. I looked at the clock quickly to see that it was after midnight already. I stared at the door for a few minutes before my phone chimed to alert me to an incoming text.

"It's me. Open the door." It was from Edward.

I rolled my eyes before laying down my Kindle and crossing the room to the front door. I wasn't prepared for the sight that met my eyes when I opened that door. Edward looked like he had been through hell and back. His hair was a jumbled up mess and his eyes were red and puffy. He was leaning against the porch railing smoking a cigarette and staring out into the night. I didn't know what had happened, but he was obviously upset about something. As I stepped out into the cold night his eyes met mine. I didn't even hesitate. The pure sorrow I saw in those green depths propelled me forward. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tightly. He exhaled a shaky breath before wrapping his arms around my back and squeezing me against his chest. His breathing was shallow and sporadic at first, but the longer we held each other, the steadier he seemed to become.

I didn't want to ask, but I felt like I needed to know. So eventually I worked up the courage to whisper softly. "Edward, what happened?"

His grip on me never loosened. He shook his head but said nothing. Soon I realized that I was standing on the concrete porch with no shoes or socks on and the thin pajamas I was wearing were not made for warmth. Even though it was spring, it still got rather chilly around here at night. I was freezing. Edward seemed to realize that I was shivering at the same time I did. He released his grip on me and rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

"It was a car accident. The driver was stoned out of her mind. Her little five year old girl was sitting in the front seat and wasn't wearing a seatbelt." I felt the blood in my veins turn to ice. He didn't have to say any more than that. "She was in critical condition. We had her on the operating table for hours. We had just finished closing the last stitch and she went into cardiac arrest. She was just…gone. Just like that." A sob caught in his throat and he pulled at his hair angrily.

I cupped his face in my hands and forced him to look at me. His eyes met mine and I almost instantly felt him relax. His hands found my hips and he leaned his forehead against mine. My hands gently rubbed against his jawbone and down the nape of his neck. I softly brushed my lips against his and he closed his eyes, sighing deeply.

"You did everything you could do Edward."

"Thank you Bella." He whispered softly. I wasn't sure what he was thanking me for. Maybe just for holding him and letting him cry on my shoulder. I didn't let him leave. He had no business being alone at a moment like this so I insisted that he come inside and have a drink.

I'm not much of a drinker myself, but there were a couple of bottles of beer in the fridge. We curled up together on the couch and turned on Tommy Boy. Slowly I felt him relaxing and enjoying the movie. I even heard him laugh a few times. About half way through the movie I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

"I should go." He held me against his chest and pushed the hair out of me face as he said it. I knew he didn't want to go and I couldn't blame him. I couldn't imagine how he must be feeling after what happened. If it were me, I wouldn't want to be alone.

"You should stay." I whispered through my foggy half asleep brain. I blinked my eyes quickly and sat up. He didn't answer, he just watched me. I checked the door locks and turned off the television before I motioned for him to join me in my bedroom. I wasn't thinking about sex when I slipped under the covers beside him. All I could think about was how good his arms felt wrapped around me. It was like a cocoon of warmth that I never wanted to leave.

I was sleeping peacefully, having wonderful dreams about Edward and me on a beach in Hawaii when the sound of my phone playing "White Liar" woke me. I groaned to myself and rolled over to pick up the phone. I didn't have to check caller ID. There was only one person on my contacts list that had that particular ringtone.

"Yeah." I didn't bother with pleasantries. It wasn't likely to be a pleasant conversation anyway.

"When will you be here?" I glanced at the clock.

"Mike, it is only seven o'clock in the morning. I usually pick him up at three."

"Yeah well your son has been up since six playing video games and chasing the cat through the house. I have plans this afternoon and he's in one of his moods. I need you to pick him up by noon. You've had all weekend to do whatever the fuck you wanted to do. It's not going to kill you to pick him up three hours early."

It was the same old crap. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed loudly. I knew there was no point in arguing with him. I just wanted to end the call as quickly as I could and go back to sleep.

"Whatever. I'll see what I can do." I hit the end button and dropped the phone on the floor. I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep so I rolled out of bed and went straight to the shower. Twenty minutes later I had let all the tension and frustration fade away and I stepped out of the steam feeling like I was ready to take on the day.

I was working on some sausage and cheese omelets when Edward finally emerged from the bedroom. He must have taken a shower while I cooked because his hair was still wet.

"Perfect timing. Breakfast is ready." I motioned for him to sit at the table. Instead he crossed the kitchen and put his arms around my waist. He tilted my chin up and covered my mouth with his. I sucked in a breath as our lips began to move against each other. His tongue darted into my mouth, exploring every inch. It was unexpected. It was passionate. It was breathtaking. It was the best damn kiss of my entire life.

When he released me I was left gasping for air. He pressed his forehead against mine and stared into my eyes. I felt like he was staring into my soul. What I saw in those green depths warmed my heart. I could have stayed there forever. We came to an unspoken agreement in that moment. It was his way of saying thank you.

With a squeeze of my waist and a wink he stepped away.

"It smells wonderful." He filled his plate and sat down at the kitchen table. I waited until my heart started beating again and joined him.

Breakfast passed by quickly. Afterwards he helped me clean up. As I washed the dishes off, he dried them and put them away. It was just like one of those moments you see in eighties sitcoms. It was nice, like taking the worst chore possible and making it tolerable. I was actually sad to see them come to an end. When does that ever happen?

"You know Cullen, now I'll expect you to help clean up every time I cook for you." I smiled and threw my dish towel at him to show that I was just joking. His mouth lifted into that crooked grin of his and my heart skipped a beat.

"And will you be cooking for me a lot, then?" There was a hunger in his eyes. The instant I saw it, I felt warmth pooling between my legs.

"Well, I do like to cook." I looked up at him from under my lashes and even batted them a few times. What the hell was I doing? Was I seriously flirting with him in the middle of my kitchen? Yes. Yes I was.

He grinned and lifted his eyebrow. He was so on to me.

"Are you being a tease right now?" He laughed. I batted my lashes at him a few more times and clasped my hands behind my back.

"Who? Me?" I faked innocence, but couldn't help laughing at the same time. His eyes flashed once, and then with incredible speed he pounced. His movements caught me off guard and I let out a little scream. He cut it off quickly though by covering my mouth with his own. He pushed me against the wall and lifted my hands over my head, pinning them in place with one hand. His other hand traced down my face and neck.

"You are a tease without even trying, Bella." His hand continued along my collarbone and across the hardened peak of my breast. "When you put effort into it like that, you're absolutely deadly." His hand cupped around my breast and squeezed it roughly. I gasped and threw my head back. He ducked down and licked my exposed neck from my shoulder to my ear sending shivers of anticipation down my spine. His hand moved further down my body, across my stomach and past my waist, along my thigh until he reached the hem of my skirt. Moving under the fabric he traced my inner thigh and growled with approval when his fingers slid across my wet heat. His lips met mine again in a heated and passionate kiss that once again took my breath away.

With one hand he unbuttoned and unzipped his khakis, which fell past his hips to the floor, revealing nothing underneath. Looks like I wasn't the only one going commando today. He lifted my body off the floor and slid into my heat in one swift movement. He finally released my hands and I tangled them in his hair, pulling him closer and pressing my lips against his as I called out his name. Every thrust brought me closer to release. Every touch had me yearning for more.

"You like that, don't you baby?" All I could do was whimper out a "yes" as he nibbled on my neck and thrust into me again. "You like being fucked, don't you?" He growled in my ear.

Oh God. He had no idea how much I liked it.

"By you, Edward. Only by you. You do things to my body that I've only ever dreamed of." I whispered in his ear. His hands tightened around my ass and his teeth sank into the skin on my shoulder. My walls clamped down uncontrollably as my release shattered through me. Edward grunted out a strangled "Fuck Bella!" as he released right after me. He held me until we could both breathe steadily then set me down on my feet. My legs were shaky at best and I had to hold onto him for a few more minutes before I could really stand on my own.

After that I couldn't keep the post-coital smile off my face. Even after Edward had left to go home and I had left to pick Charlie up, the smile stayed. The sun was shining and the temperature was fairly warm. I rolled the window down and opened the sun roof. I cranked up the radio and sang along as I made the long drive to Seattle. I was about forty five minutes away when Mike sent me a text message telling me to pick Charlie up at his mom and dad's house. Even that inconvenience didn't phase my good mood. I pulled in their driveway and Charlie came running up to the car and jumped in my lap. He started talking a mile a minute.

"It's about time you got here Mom. This has been the worst weekend ever! Dad made me work the whole time!"

"He made you work? What did he make you do?" I pushed him off my lap and stepped out of the car. He fell into step beside me as I walked up to my former in-law's back door.

"Packing. It was so boring Mom! He wouldn't let me play or anything."

Packing? What the hell? I didn't have a chance to ask him before the back door opened and Mike's mother, Jackie, stepped onto the porch. She had an envelope in her hands and a sad smile on her face.

"Bella! Look at you. You look great! I haven't seen you in such a long time."

"Thanks. I'm good, and it's a beautiful day out so I can't ask for much more than that, right?"

We made small talk for a few more minutes. I knew better than to get her talking about anything in particular because I could very well be standing there for the next six hours if I did. Eventually she got around to handing me the envelope. It was the divorce papers, all signed and ready to go. Could this day get any better? As we got in the car to leave, she called to me once again.

"Look Bella. I know Mike is my son, but I want you to know that I understand and I think you did the right thing. You deserve better and I hope you can find someone that makes you happy."

I thanked her and told her we would keep in touch. Charlie settled into the back seat with his DS and I cranked the radio back up. The drive back to Forks seemed to take no time at all. Charlie had been excellent in the car, playing his video game and keeping quiet. I think he even took a nap for a little while. I know sitting still for long periods of time is really hard on him. He has so much energy that he just has to keep moving. I decided that as a reward for him being so good, I would take him to the park and let him play on the playground for a while.

I sent Jess a quick text to see if she'd like to join us. We tried to get together every now and then outside of work, and her boys were the same age as Charlie so it usually worked out well. She agreed to meet me there so after a quick pit stop at the house for a restroom and a snack we decided to just walk to the park. Jess and her kids got there just a few minutes after we did. The kids automatically disappeared into the playground and we found a bench in the sunlight to sit and relax.

I told her immediately that Mike had signed the divorce papers. I was so relieved that I had them in my possession, I had to tell her about it and get it off my chest. She was just as thrilled as I was that he hadn't put up any kind of fight and I could move on with my life now.

We had been chatting for fifteen or twenty minutes, swapping gossip from work or trading stories about our kids, when she stopped talking and started staring at me. She scrunched up her nose and folded her arms over her chest.

"What?" I asked subconsciously.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, still staring. I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. I was happier now than I had been in years. Suddenly her eyes popped open wide and she leaned forward in her seat, snapping her fingers. "You got laid!" It wasn't a question. It was more of an excited squeal. I looked around quickly to make sure no one had heard her little epiphany.

"Jess! Keep your voice down!" I could feel my cheeks and my ears burning bright red.

"Bitch! When? Where? Who? Please God tell me it wasn't Mike! You didn't give him a good bye fuck did you?"

Oh. My. God. I hid my face in my hands and shook my head furiously.

"No, it wasn't Mike. How the hell did you even know?"

"Are you kidding me right now? You are practically glowing you're so damn happy. It's disgusting. So what then? A one night stand? That's not your style Bella." She lit a cigarette and offered me one.

"Can it be considered a one night stand if it happens three days in a row?" She snorted and threw her hand over her mouth, shaking her head profusely.

"Oh my God Bella! Three days in a row? Who? Where? I need details!"

I bit my lower lip and felt the blood rushing to me cheeks again, but still I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Finally I told her in a low voice about the events of the weekend. I made her swear not to tell anyone. She just rolled her eyes and said "Yeah, right."

When the sun started to set we headed home. Charlie had a great time playing with the other kids and he had worn out some of his energy. He took a bath while I put together a homemade pizza and we sat down together to watch the Simpsons. When the show was over and dinner was cleaned up, I tucked him into bed and he read me two chapters from his Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.

Once he was settled in with the lights off I made sure everything was ready for Monday. Every time I walked into the kitchen I thought about Edward and I smiled.

Later when I was lying in bed in the dark I remembered the feel of his arms around me. The taste of his lips against mine. The intensity of his eyes. The warmth of his hands. The sound of his voice against my ear while he was inside me.

I glanced at the clock and noticed that Edward would still be at the hospital for another hour or two. I was already half asleep and horny as hell. That's my only excuse. I sent the text before I even thought about what it said. Then I drifted off to a deep sleep before the reply ever came back.

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><p><strong>AN: This is when you hit the 'review' button and tell me what you think. Good? Bad? Let me know how I'm doing. :o)<strong>

**So what do you think the text says?  
><strong>


	9. One More is Never Enough

**AN: I don't own Twilight. This story is all mine though.**

**Hmmm. Where are all my reviews at? Show me some love ya'll!**

**As always, big thanks to Jesi and Yenny. You guys rock.**

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**That Moment**

**Chapter 9 – One More is Never Enough**

**BPOV**

_You and tequila make me crazy…_

I was enjoying a wonderful dream including Edward and a huge bowl of Cool Whip when the sounds of Kenny Chesney permeated my consciousness.

_Run like poison in my blood._

At first it seemed to be part of my dream.

_One more night could kill me baby._

The chorus had repeated at least three times when I realized that it wasn't part of my dream at all.

_One is one too many…_

It was my cell phone.

_Once more is never enough…_

It was Edward calling on my cell phone.

_Once more is never enough…_

I felt around on the bed until I found the offending phone. Without opening my eyes, I hit the talk button.

"What the hell time is it?" I mumbled into the receiver.

"It's about twelve thirty." The sound of his voice brought me closer to consciousness. It felt like he was right beside me. I hummed in approval. "Unlock your front door. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I smiled to myself, but at the same time I was warm and comfortable. I didn't want to move.

"Just use the spare key under the ledge of the barbeque grill. Lock the door behind you and be quiet. Charlie is sleeping upstairs." There was a long moment of silence on the other end. I worried that he had hung up. "Edward?"

"Yeah. Okay. I'll be there in just a couple of minutes." His voice sounded deeper to me, but then again I was still half asleep.

"Lock the bedroom door when you come in too, okay?"

I ended the call and drifted back into a light sleep. I was vaguely aware when I heard the front door creak open and closed again. Even through the haze of my sleep filled mind my heart rate kicked up a notch when I heard the bedroom door click shut and lock. I felt the bed dip down beside me. Electricity shot through my bloodstream as his arm circled my waist and his warm breath flowed across my neck.

Soft lips grazed over my shoulder, stopping to suck gently on the soft skin of my throat. I moaned in appreciation and lifted my hand up to run my fingers through his hair.

"Tell me baby, how wet are you?" He practically growled in my ear.

My eyes snapped opened and found his immediately in the moonlit room. There was a sparkle in that pool of green. I smiled and couldn't help the small giggle that escaped.

"I'm guessing you got my text."

His hand kneaded my breasts and his face dipped down so he could run his tongue over my hardened nips through my thin tank top. Liquid was pooling between my legs quickly.

"Do you have any idea what I was thinking about for the last three hours of my shift, Bella?" He shifted on the bed and I was lying underneath him. His warm, hard body pressed against mine.

"The well being of your patients?"

He chuckled as he lifted my arms above my head and held them by the wrists.

"You send me a text telling me that you get wet just thinking about me, and you think I can focus on my patients? Really?" His mouth covered mine before I had a chance to respond. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it in the dark, quiet room. His lips left mine only to continue kissing my jaw, my neck and my shoulder.

"Are you really here?" I whispered into the darkness. He chuckled against my ear.

"No. This is just a very vivid dream." He whispered before he sucked my earlobe into his mouth.

"I don't know about that. Usually Dream Edward is naked and inside me by now."

He growled as his tongue darted out to lick my neck.

"Does Dream Edward visit a lot?" His mouth found mine again. As his lips moved against mine, his hand drifted across my stomach and dipped into my cotton undies. His fingers glided over my slick entrance and glazed over my most sensitive spot. I gasped as my back arched off the bed.

"All the time." I whispered. "Almost every night." I pulled his lips back to mine as his fingers continued to tease me.

"How long has this been going on, baby?" He pushed two fingers inside slowly and pulled them back out just as slow. He was driving me crazy. I needed friction. I needed release.

"Edward! Stop teasing me!" I tried to push into his hand, to get him to move faster, but he held me steady.

"You teased me with that text, baby. Fair's fair." He slid his fingers inside again just as slow. "How long has Dream Edward been coming to your bed? Hmm? Since the night I fucked you on my weight bench? Or even before that?" He pushed three fingers in this time, a little faster, a little harder.

"If I tell you, will you stop teasing me?" His lips melded to mine and he rubbed his thumb across my clit. I took that as a 'yes'. I waited until his mouth had moved away from mine and had latched on to my right breast, sucking the tip between his teeth and sending another wave of heat searing through my body. He was still teasing me with those long, beautiful fingers of his. It finally got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore.

"Fifteen years." I whispered into the darkness.

Fuck. Did I just say that out loud?

He froze.

I froze.

I found myself holding my breath, waiting for him to move, or to say something. Anything.

"Edward?"

His eyes met mine. All the teasing was gone from them. His hand gently caressed my face and he lowered his lips to mine in a slow, meaningful kiss. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

"That's about how long I've been seeing Dream Bella." He confessed.

My heart swelled. He dreamed about me too. He had all along. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his mouth back to mine.

What followed was intimate and beautiful, slow but powerful. We came together as one in that moment, in that extended moment when our bodies were moving together. And in that moment all of our walls were down. All of the past hurt and heartbreak disappeared and it was just us.

When our bodies had finally stilled and we lay together in the darkness, I knew that we had crossed an invisible line somewhere along the way. Where that put us now, I had no idea. There was no going back, though. I knew it with all my heart. With his arms wrapped around me and holding me tightly against his chest I was okay with that.

_Snow drifted quietly to the ground, not that I had time to sit and watch it fall. I was trying to pick up the last minute messes in the house and time the ham, pasta salad and macaroni and cheese so it would all be finished about the same time. Mike was sitting on the couch watching football and Charlie was playing with his hot wheels in the hallway. _

_I was wearing my favorite red sweater and black corduroy jeans. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail to keep it out of my face while I prepared the food. _

_The doorbell rang and I knew it would be Alice and Jasper. Mike yelled at me from the couch to answer the door. We wouldn't want him to get up and answer the door himself or anything. As I was walking past the couch he smacked my ass. "You look like Clifford. Couldn't you have found something nicer to wear than that?" He sneered. I swallowed back my response and opened the door. _

_Alice, Jasper and the Chief were all standing on the porch loaded down with Christmas presents in their arms. Not much later we were all sitting around the dining room table saying grace. Our guests all praised the spread, telling me how wonderful it all was. Mike told me the ham was dry and the mac and cheese wasn't cheesy enough. Charlie whined because we weren't having pizza. _

_I filled my plate and started eating. Mike looked at my plate and said "See Bella, and you wonder why you can't lose weight. Did you save any food for the rest of us?"_

_I felt my cheeks burning with embarrassment. Alice and Jasper both looked up in shock. The Chief ignored the comment all together. _

_When everyone was finished eating (I only ate about half of what I had on my plate.) I insisted on cleaning up myself while the others started passing out Christmas presents. Mike came up behind me while I was washing the dishes. "What the hell is your problem?" he asked me._

"_Nothing." I said. "I love being insulted in front of my whole family on Christmas."_

"_I was just joking Bells. Geesh. Don't be so touchy."_

"_Why do I put up with your shit, Mike?" It was a question I had asked myself over and over. He stepped up behind me and whispered in my ear "Because you know that no one else will ever want you Bella. Just look at you. You're plain and boring. There's nothing special about you at all. You know you would rather put up with my shit than be alone."_

"_No one else will ever want you Bella."_

I woke Monday morning with Mike's words echoing through my thoughts. My arm reached across the bed only to find it cold and empty. Edward was gone.

"_No one else will ever want you Bella."_

No. No, that couldn't be right. Edward wanted me. He'd basically told me as much last night, right? As I moved around the bedroom collecting my clothes for the day I noticed a new text on my phone.

'_Good morning Beautiful. Thought I should leave before C woke up. Call me.'_ – Edward

I smiled to myself and held the phone against my chest. For the briefest of moments I imagined what life with Edward would be like. I could easily see us going out to the movies or to dinner together. I could picture Edward teaching Charlie how to play baseball or coaching his little league soccer team. I could feel his arms around me as we snuggled against each other and fell asleep together night after night.

_No one else will ever want you Bella. Just look at you. You're plain and boring, nothing special about you at all. If you leave, you'll just be alone for the rest of your life. Is that what you want? _

I shook my head and blinked back the sudden tears. I wasn't willing to play the 'what if' game, especially not with Edward. I had made a decision to live out my days alone and that's exactly what I planned to do. It was easier that way. Safer. I didn't need anyone but Charlie and myself. Right?

Then why did last night feel so right?

Once Charlie woke up it was easy to forget about Edward and Mike and everything else. He was having one of his 'bad mornings'. Days like these I usually classify as Charlie being in a mood. He didn't like the clothes I set out for him. He wanted help getting dressed. Yes, he's nine. He put his shirt on backwards and refused to fix it. He refused to brush his teeth. He didn't want cereal for breakfast. He forgot he had homework to do this weekend and it was due this morning. And right about the time I was walking out the front door, he decided he had to use the bathroom.

We finally made it out of the driveway seventeen minutes late. Luckily, I didn't have to get to work first thing this morning. I had already called and took the morning off so I could file the signed divorce papers with the court. When I dropped Charlie off at Alice's house I told her about the papers. She squealed in my ear. I hate when she does that. It gives me a headache.

"Oh my God! That's awesome! We need to celebrate. Tomorrow night we'll have a cookout. I'll take care of everything, okay?" She was bouncing up and down in excitement. I was pretty sure she had just been looking for an excuse to have a party anyway, so I let her go with it.

We ironed out a few of the details, and then I drove to the middle of town and parked in front of the courthouse. I planned to just sit in my car and read my Kindle until the office opened.

"_You and tequila make me crazy…_

_Run like poison in my blood…_

_One more night could kill me baby._

_Once is one too many…_

_One more is never enough."_

I let my cell phone ring through the chorus because I love that song so much.

"Hey. You didn't oversleep did you?" Edward's velvety voice was soft this morning.

"No, but I could seriously go back to bed anytime now." It wasn't until after I said it that I realized my words could be taken two ways. "Sleep, I mean. Go back to sleep."

He chuckled on the other end of the line. He asked me if I was at work yet and I told him about my plans for the morning. I also told him about the party Alice was planning for the next evening. As we were talking something caught my eye. It was my dad's truck pulling into the parking space in front of the police department that was marked "Chief Swan".

I watched him as he locked the truck and walked up the short ramp to the front door. He paused there and looked around. It was like he could tell I was watching him or something. Hell, maybe he could. The man had a sixth sense.

I hesitated. The last time we had spoken hadn't been pleasant. Truth be told, though, I missed my dad. I hadn't even realized it until I saw him standing across the street, so close but still so far away. I still had over an hour before the court records office would open. That was plenty of time. I didn't give myself a chance to change my mind or talk myself out of it. I ended my call with Edward, walked across the street and opened the door to the police department.

It was exactly as it had always been. The familiar sounds and smells made me feel like I was home. The bell rang out to notify everyone that I had opened the door. Sitting at the main desk was a young officer that I didn't recognize. He was Native American with russet colored skin and long black hair that was tied in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His large brown eyes lifted from the paperwork on the desk in front of him and met mine. His mouth spread wide in a very white Cheshire cat smile.

"Well hello." He stood and met me halfway. He was huge. He towered over top of me, standing at least six and a half feet tall. And the muscles in his abs and arms were well defined through the too small blue uniform. He could have been intimidating, except I felt no fear. In fact I felt oddly comfortable, even at this close proximity.

"Hi. Is Chief Swan in?" I didn't really need to ask. I had just watched him walk in the door not three minutes ago.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" He was still smiling and staring down at me. That's when I realized his eyes had roamed south and were focused intently on my chest. I rolled my eyes, not that he even noticed or anything.

"You can tell Chief Swan that he has a visitor." I waited patiently and smiled sweetly until he gave up with the charm and turned back to his desk. He reminded me of a puppy dog that has his eye on a dog biscuit but can't quite reach it.

"Yeah." I could hear the Chief's gruff voice coming from the office down the hall and through the telephone speaker.

"You have a visitor. A Miss…" Officer Bosco looked at me expectantly. Ha. Officer Bosco. I laughed at the nickname inside my head. Bosco. That reminded me of 'One Crazy Summer' and the ugly dog with a cone around her neck.

"Bella." I provided, but he kept looking at me with those big brown puppy dog eyes. "Swan. Bella Swan."

I could pinpoint the exact moment when the light bulb came on and he realized who I was. His face flushed a dark red color and his mouth dropped open. I couldn't help but smile as he muttered my name into the phone. It was entirely unnecessary. By the time he had pulled himself together enough to mutter the words, the Chief was already standing behind him.

"Bells." The Chief grunted loud enough to make Officer Bosco jump. "I wondered when you'd finally stop by to see your old man."

The visit with my dad was a good one. It turns out he had known I was living in Forks all along.

"I'm the Chief of Police, Bella. It's my job to know who's doing what around here." He reminded me of that more than once. He also apologized for telling me I was just like my mother. When I told him that I had caught Mike cheating on me, he was ready to drive to Seattle and beat the shit out of him. Little late now, but I appreciated the sentiment anyway.

We talked about Charlie and I told him about my job and about teaching. He told me he didn't like the neighborhood I was living in. Me either, but it was all I could afford. Before I left the office he made me promise to bring Charlie over this weekend to spend some time with his Grandpa.

When it was time for me to go, he followed me out and offered to walk me to the courthouse. It was right next door, I was pretty sure I could manage on my own so I declined his offer.

"Actually, sir, I need to file these reports. I can make sure she gets where she needs to go." Officer Bosco stepped forward with a folder full of reports in his hand and a big smile on his face.

"I'm Jacob, by the way." He said as he held the door open for me to pass through. "Jacob Black."

I eyed him warily. Something in my women's intuition was telling me not to let myself get too comfortable with him. Maybe it was the fact that he was staring at my chest again. He walked with me to the courthouse, making small talk and constantly invading my personal space. By the time we dropped off our paperwork, he was practically right on top of me. It didn't bother me so much, though.

"What time should I pick you up for dinner?" He cornered me in the stairwell and gave me those puppy dog eyes and the blinding smile. He was very good looking and friendly. I could imagine going out with him and having a great time.

"I'm not going out to dinner with you Jacob." I laughed at the crestfallen expression on his face. "You'll survive, I'm sure."

"You'll come around sooner or later, Swan, and realize that you can't live without me. Until then." He lifted my hand and grazed his lips across my knuckles. Although it was an enormously romantic gesture, my heart did not quicken and my breath did not catch in my throat. As Xander from _Buffy _had once said, you either feel a thing or you don't feel a thing. When it came to Jacob, I didn't feel a thing.

We parted ways and I drove straight to work. I hate my job. Seriously. Maybe I've mentioned this already? My boss thinks she knows how to do my job, but when she's filling in she only half-asses everything, leaving me to do even more work than I would have had if she had just left it alone. On top of that she takes credit for all my work in spreadsheet and database design. I would think that someone above her would realize she never knew how to do that shit until I transferred to Forks. Whatever.

In the first two hours I listened to my manager ream my ass for not checking the values on a report. A report that I didn't even run. I was busy working on a special project at the time for my supervisor. So she ran the report, didn't check the values and blamed me when we ran out of boxes. Nice, right?

When I finally left work to go to the college for class, my head was pounding and I was ready to quit my job. How many times had I thought about doing just that in the last few months? I wanted to purge all the negativity from my life. I was making so many changes already to do just that. Why not one more?

I walked to my classroom lost in my thoughts. Why not one more change? Do I really need to keep that stupid job? If I found someplace cheaper to live, maybe picked up a part time job or an extra class or two, we could easily make it. I wouldn't have insurance, though, and that was a huge problem.

"Hey Bells!" I heard Emmett's voice boom down the hall and I looked up to see him walking towards me. "Edward asked me to have you sign this." He handed me a form and I looked at it in confusion.

"He's dropping my class?" I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. He was dropping my class and hadn't even brought the drop form in himself. Immediately my mind started telling me that he was trying to get some distance. We had gotten way too close, way too fast.

"He took on a couple extra shifts at the hospital. That's where he is right now."

Em watched carefully as I initialed the slip of paper and handed it back to him. My hand was shaking slightly. A detail that I'm sure he picked up on. He glanced around the hallway making sure no one was within earshot.

"He's just looking out for you." He murmured to me in a low tone. My eyes shot up to meet his and he gave me a knowing look. Oh God. How much did he know? I swallowed thickly and nodded my head. I understood. He didn't want me to lose my job because I was sleeping with one of my students. That's a fact that I had never even considered. It hadn't once crossed my mind.

My classes went smoothly enough from there. We were finishing up the first section and reviewing for the first test on Wednesday. My second class, beginning algebra, was my trouble class. There was one guy in the class that constantly gave me a hard time. He would ask off the wall questions and laugh or make sarcastic comments to his neighbor if I didn't know the answer right away. Or he would try to find mistakes in my work. Really he was trying to find anything to discredit my knowledge and authority in the classroom. I knew I would have to pull him aside and tell him to stop with the attitude. I hate confrontations, but occasionally it has to be done. This was the same guy that had given me grief the first day of classes over having to buy a calculator. Some people just have to bring attention to themselves.

I stopped by my desk after class to run copies of the tests I would need Wednesday. I call it my desk. Really it's a group work center that all of the part time teachers share. The math department has it's own little cubicle and we each have a sign on name to use. I signed in and plugged in my thumb drive. The copies printed off on the Xerox across the room. I waited until they started printed, then logged off and shut down the computer. The whole process took about fifteen minutes, so when I left the school building, most of the parking lot was empty. Only a few cars remained, mine included. I walked through the darkened parking lot. My heels clicked on the blacktop. I opened my door and was startled by a voice behind me.

"Have a nice night Teach."

I turned around quickly and found myself face to face with the guy from my algebra class, the troublemaker.

"James. I didn't hear you behind me."

He smiled. It was an oily, slippery looking smile that reminded me of the cat that ate the canary. He was close enough that I could smell the cigarette smoke on his clothes. I gripped my keys between my fingers, prepared to strike if he made a move.

"I didn't mean to scare you. See you Wednesday." He winked at me before stepping around my open door and moving to the car parked in front of my own.

I shook my head and laughed at myself for being so paranoid. I started my car and sent a quick text to Edward.

'_C is usually asleep by 10'_ – Bella 

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><p><strong>AN: I'd love to see Jacob in a police uniform. *sigh* Hehehe.<strong>

**What do you guys think? Reviews make my day!**


	10. One Step

**That Moment**

**Chapter 10 – One Step**

**EPOV**

_Something didn't feel right. I was lying in bed trying to sleep, but I had this feeling. Something was off. I climbed out of bed and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I felt like there was something I was supposed to be doing. What was it? I pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants and wandered to the hallway. A noise from the next bedroom caught my attention. I opened the door slowly and saw her. _

_She was sitting in the window seat, looking out into the moonlit darkness. Beauty personified. She was wearing a dark blue lace negligee that hugged her curves and left just enough to the imagination. She had her left foot curled under her body and her right foot was sitting on the window seat. She had her head resting on her knee while her arms were wrapped around her bent leg. _

_She looked up at me with those chocolate brown eyes of hers. They looked sad. So sad. _

"_Bella, love, why are you in here all alone?" I crossed the room and sat next to her on the window seat. Although her eyes followed my movements, after I sat down she resumed staring out the window. _

"_I love it here. If this were my house, I would sit here all the time. It's so beautiful, and peaceful." _

_I reached over with my hand to move the hair from in front of her eyes, but she shied away before my fingers made contact. I froze. Something was definitely wrong. _

"_I'm sorry Edward. I thought I could do this, but I can't. I just can't." Her voice was sad but crystal clear. _

"_Do what, Bella? You thought you could do what?" I was admittedly confused. An ice cold dread started to spread through my veins. She was breaking up with me. _

_That's not right. We're not even dating. You can't break up with someone that you aren't even dating, right? There was a distinct tightness in my chest that was making it difficult to breath._

"_It's a lot of things, really. I thought I could live on my own and take care of Charlie by myself. Hell, Alice sees him more often than I do." She stood and started pacing back and forth across the room. Her hands were wringing together in agitation. "I thought I could handle being alone. The truth is I hate being alone. I want someone that I can talk to in the evenings about my day and someone that I can count on if I'm in trouble. I want someone that I can call if some creep from my class waits for me to walk into a dark parking lot by myself and then follows me halfway home and scares the shit out of me. I want someone to cook for and to go out to the movies with and to sit and watch FOX news and yell at the television with me." She stopped pacing and sat down next to me on the window seat. Her hands found mine and she squeezed them gently. Her next words came out as nothing more than a whisper. _

"_I thought I could just have sex with you and it wouldn't change anything. I was wrong, Edward. It changed everything, and I can't do it. I can't just be your fuck buddy."_

_I swallowed thickly. Was she saying what I think she was saying? _

"_Are you saying you want more? You want to be my girlfriend?" The shock I had experienced earlier was replaced by outright fear. I'd been down this road before. I swore to myself that I wouldn't let it happen again. I couldn't give her the power to rip my heart out and tear it to shreds. I wouldn't be able to live through it again. _

"_I know that's not what you want, and I understand that. Really, I do. I just can't go halfway anymore. Either we are together or we aren't. I'm leaving the decision up to you." She leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. Then she stood and walked gracefully to the door. _

_Time froze in that moment. I knew she was right. Either we are together or we aren't. The latter was not a viable option for me. The thought of never touching her again, never kissing her again, never holding her again, never seeing her again; just the thought of it made my heart hurt. _

_It was too late. She already had the power._

"_Bella! Wait!" I ran after her, grabbed her by the waist and turned her around so I was looking into her eyes again. "I love you Bella. You know that, right? When I look at you I don't see a…a fuck buddy. When I look at you I see forever."_

_Her mouth slowly curved up into a smile. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. It was a deep, passionate kiss that left me gasping for air. _

_She pulled away unexpectedly, leaving me wanting more. Her head cocked to the side and her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. _

"_Did you hear that?" she whispered and took a tentative step towards the door. I listened, but could only hear the sound of my heart beating erratically. "I thought I heard something." Before I could stop her, she took three sure steps and vanished._

"Bella!" I shot straight up in bed. My heart was pounding and I was covered in a cold sweat. I stumbled out of the bedroom and was halfway down the stairs before my mind caught up with my body and I realized she wasn't really here. She hadn't been here at all. It was just a dream.

I sat down on the steps and put my head in my hands. What the fuck was that?

Tuesday morning I woke to the sound of Emmett pounding on my front door. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking them against the light that filtered through the sunroof. My back was killing me. I felt like a damned pretzel. _What the fuck!_ I was curled up in a ball on the staircase landing. It took me a minute or two to remember waking up in a panic in the middle of the night and running halfway down the stairs. I must have fell asleep right where I had sat down. Wonderful. I stumbled the rest of the way down stairs and unlocked the door so Emmett would stop pounding on it. My head was killing me.

"Wow. Rough night?" Em laughed as he pushed past me into the living room. I didn't bother to answer him. I just went in search of aspirin. Note to self: do not sleep on the stairs ever again!

"So how's Bella doing this morning? Better than you, I hope." He watched me from the kitchen doorway as I searched through drawer after drawer for the aspirin bottle.

"What?" My brain was pounding and still half asleep. I knew the question was strange, especially coming from Emmett, but I wasn't exactly sure why.

"You know, Bella? About this tall, brown hair, nice ass."

"I know who she is, Emmett." I rolled my eyes. Like I really needed a description. Her image was permanently burned into my brain. "I haven't talked to her."

I finally found the aspirin and swallowed two of them.

"Was she sleeping when you left or something?"

What the fuck was he talking about? I ran my hand through my hair. It was sticking up in a hundred different directions. I'd have to wash it before I could do anything with it.

"When I left where? Make some sense Emmett."

"You weren't at Bella's house last night?" His eyes narrowed and suddenly I realized just why his line of questioning was so strange. Emmett didn't know about my and Bella's…extracurricular activities. At least, I hadn't told him anything about it. So why was he asking me about her anyway?

"Why would I have been at Bella's house?" My eyes narrowed and I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I know all about it, dude. This is a small town, you know." He rolled his eyes and opened the fridge, rummaging around for whatever he could find. "I see you took the exact opposite of my advice to stay away from her."

"Yeah." I sighed in a defeated tone. His advice had been to stay away so I didn't get my heart broken all over again. "I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. Give me fifteen minutes, okay?"

He laughed at me as I headed upstairs.

The shower felt good. The heat relaxed the kinks in my muscles that I obtained from sleeping on the stairway. Seriously, that had to have been the most uncomfortable sleeping position ever.

I dressed casually, throwing on a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved t-shirt. I had the day off and promised to spend it helping Em with his homework. Then we would be going to Alice and Jasper's house for some kind of party. She had texted me yesterday about it, but the hospital had been insane so I hadn't had a chance to return her text. Come to think of it, I never even checked my phone when I got in last night. I just came home and crashed.

Where is my phone anyway? I checked the charger and it wasn't there. I must have forgotten to even plug it in when I got home. I picked up my pants from last night and found it still in the pocket. It was completely dead. I rolled my eyes at myself and plugged it in. As soon as it powered up, the missed alerts starting chiming.

I had four missed text alerts.

'_C is usually asleep by 10:30' _– B

'_Are you coming over tonight?'_ – B

'_Need to talk. Call me?'_ – B

'_Sorry I keep bothering you. :o( Bad feeling.'_ – B

Fuck.

There were also three missed calls.

Fuck!

That sense I had that something was wrong…yeah. My blood ran cold in my veins. Something was wrong. She had tried most of the night to get a hold of me and I had let her down. I hit the speed dial button immediately and listened as the phone rang. I willed her to answer, but it went to voicemail.

"Fuck!" I had to refrain from throwing my phone across the room. I took several deep breaths before I was calm enough to send her a text message. Then I rewrote it five times before I hit send.

'_You okay?'_ – E

I wanted to say so much more than that, of course, but first and foremost I had to know she was okay.

**BPOV**

Have you ever had one of those days? The kind where you're just in a pissy-ass mood and people in general just need to stay the fuck out of your way? That's the kind of day I was having.

I didn't get any sleep last night, well, not much anyway. After I left the college and picked Charlie up from Alice's house, I had this weird feeling. This feeling like someone was following me. I figured I was just being unnecessarily jumpy. That creepy guy from my algebra class had followed me out of the parking lot and most of the way to Alice's house. It got me all paranoid. What if he tried something? There I was, all alone in the house with my nine year old son. Would I be able to defend myself? To protect Charlie?

Every car that passed my house last night had me straining my ears to make sure they hadn't stopped. Every creak in the house, every small sound I heard had me jumping up to investigate. In all the time since I had left Mike I had never felt so very alone.

I had tried to get a hold of Edward all night. It was in vain, though. He never answered the phone. He never returned my messages. Why would he? It's not like he's my boyfriend or anything, right? He didn't have any obligation to come running every time I felt vulnerable. He was probably busy at the hospital. Or he was out with someone else. We certainly hadn't agreed to see each other exclusively. Hell, we hadn't even agreed that we were seeing each other. It was just sex a few times. No big deal.

Yeah, right. No big deal. It's not like it was the most fantastic, heart stopping, toe-curling sex of my life or anything.

It was almost lunchtime. I had spent the morning trying to fix a report that my boss had felt the need to modify. In the process she had broken half my links and created numerous circular references that needed to be corrected. As tired as I was, the numbers on the screen kept running together and I needed to get up and walk around every twenty minutes or so to keep from falling asleep at my desk. I had just sat back down when I realized the missed alerts light on my cell phone was flashing.

'_You okay?'_ – E

I read the message from Edward and my blood immediately started to boil. Now he cares? Last night when I needed him where the hell was he? I stared at my phone for a good five minutes before I flipped it closed and threw it back down on my desk.

I didn't answer the phone when he called ten minutes later. Or when he called ten minutes after that. The third time he tried to call I turned the phone off.

The rest of the day dragged on. I kept picking up my phone and debating with myself whether or not to call him. Finally around two o'clock I turned the phone back on and found ten more missed calls and several text messages from Edward. I bit my lip as I considered that maybe he had suffered enough, so I caved. Just enough to send him a text so he would stop calling my phone every ten minutes.

'_I'm just peachy. Don't worry.'_ – B

It didn't work. He kept calling. I still didn't answer, though. I was at work, after all. If I had answered the phone in the shitty-ass mood I was in, who knows what would have come out of my mouth. When I'm pissy like this I need to just keep my mouth shut. No. This was a conversation that needed to wait until later. Much, much later.

I was so glad when the work day was finally over. At least, I was glad until I remembered that Alice was throwing a party for me tonight. It was to celebrate my divorce being finalized. Wonderful. Now I would have to go 'celebrate' with all my friends the fact that I'm utterly alone in this world. Woo hoo.

I was lost in my pissy, depressing thoughts when I realized there was a police car behind me with the red and blues flashing. Dammit. I pulled over and reached into the glove box for my registration and insurance information. I heard the knock on my window and turned to see none other than Officer Jacob Black standing outside smiling at me.

"Well, if it isn't the beautiful Miss Swan." He greeted me as I rolled the window down. I scowled at him.

"Officer Black." My voice sounded cold even to my ears. I'm sure he picked up on it as well, and yet his smile never faltered.

"You were driving forty eight miles per hour in a thirty five miles per hour zone, and you aren't wearing your seatbelt. That's a hefty fine around here you know." He pulled out his notebook and a pen and held his hand out for my license and registration. When I handed it over he made sure to make contact with my hand. His fingers ran across my skin slowly. I snatched my hand back quickly.

"You know, Bella. I suppose I could forget this ever happened." He smiled even wider and winked at me. On another day I probably would have played along, flirted a little and left without a ticket and a guaranteed raise in my insurance rates.

"I'm having a really bad day, Black. Just write the damn ticket so I can get out of here, okay?" I fought back angry tears and squeezed my hand into a fist. My fingernails were biting into the palm of my hand. Jacob seemed taken aback for a moment. Then he squatted down so that his face was even with my own. His hand rested on my shoulder and I turned to meet his brown eyes that seemed to be filled with nothing but concern.

"You know I was just joking, right? Is everything okay?" I could read it in his eyes. He was so sincere. The tears spilled over without my permission. I wiped them away angrily.

"Fine. Everything is just fine. It's just been one of those days, you know? This is just the icing on the cake." He watched me carefully for what seemed like a long time. I could feel that he wanted to comfort me. The stupid tears were still dripping down my face. Aside from the hand that remained on my shoulder, though, he didn't actually try anything. I was glad. If he had tried to pull me in for a hug or something, I probably would have decked him. What's the fine for assaulting an officer these days?

"You need to get home and get some rest. You look awfully tired. Drive safely." He squeezed my shoulder and gave me one more wink. Then he turned around and left. It took me a long minute before I realized he hadn't written the ticket at all.

I still had tears streaming down my face and my hands were shaking with anger. I had to pull myself together before I went to Alice's house. Everyone would be there in two hours. That didn't give me much time. I called Alice and let her know that I would be running late. Then I started to drive. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I just went.

I ended up at the cliffs near La Push Beach. I walked along the trail and stopped at the top of the cliff. A fence had been installed along the edge and as I ran my fingers along the top railing I couldn't help but think back to the last time I had been there.

When I was in high school there was this girl, Cindy. She was kind of plain and not very popular. I know, right? I'm one to talk. But I was an outcast by my own personal preference. She had lived here her whole life and was even lower than me on the social ladder. We had just started our senior year and rumor had it that over the summer she had hooked up with Tyler Crowley. He vehemently denied it, of course. Admitting it would have caused him some serious downward mobility. She confronted him at school and he humiliated her. I always felt so sorry for her. We weren't close because I wasn't close with anyone but Edward, still I felt like we could have been. Anyway, after that she disappeared. They found her car at the top of the cliff and her shoes and a hoodie lying on the ground near the ledge.

She jumped. Ordinarily it was no big deal. Kids jumped from here all the time, they called it cliff-diving. No, it wasn't the fall that killed her. She jumped in the middle of a massive storm and she was never a strong swimmer to begin with. She drowned.

Her body washed up on the beach a week later. Edward and I were there when they found her. We watched in detached horror as they loaded her body onto a stretcher. Trust me; it was not a pretty sight. After that we hiked to the top of the cliffs, to the spot they said she had jumped from. As we stood there looking over the edge the reality of what had happened settled in and I had started to cry. Edward held me as I mourned the loss of a girl I had barely known. I remember thinking to myself, was her life really so bad that she would rather end it all? Could I ever feel so hopeless that I wouldn't want to live another day? At the time I couldn't imagine what that would feel like.

Fifteen years later and I found myself standing on the same cliff, looking over the edge at the same ocean below, asking myself the exact same question. How easy would it be? It would be one step, that's all. I stepped onto the bottom rung of the fence and lifted myself up. I just wanted to see the view below a little better. I leaned over just enough so I could see the water breaking against the rocks below.

I'm thirty three years old. The man I was married to for twelve years cheated on me. My son is a challenge to say the least. I hate my job. I hate living paycheck to paycheck. I hate being responsible for everything. I hate being alone. I hate being miserable. I hate struggling day to day with little to no reward.

I stood there for a long time, staring at the choppy water below, mesmerized by the chaotic patterns that emerged. Rain started to fall softly around me. I heard the drops hitting the ground but I didn't feel them on my skin. I continued to stare over the edge of the cliff. Tears ran quietly down my cheeks as I stood there, watching, waiting, thinking of reasons that I shouldn't take that one step.

I don't know how long I was there. Eventually I heard footsteps crunching on the loose rock behind me.

"Bella?" The voice behind me snapped me out of my trance. It was a mixture of surprise and concern, with just a tad bit of panic mixed in there. My head snapped up to find the source. My foot slipped off the wet wooden fence. My body pitched forward. My stomach hit the top rail of the fence, knocking the wind from my lungs. I felt myself topple headfirst over the fence. 


	11. Over the Edge

**AN: **So, so, so very sorry it's been so long since the last update! Grad school is kind of kicking my ass. Anyone that knows anything about proofs of conservation of energy, PM me! LOL.

Anyway, I'm posting this chapter without beta reading, so I apologize up front for any grammatical errors. Chapter 12 is done, I just need to type it and refine it so hopefully it'll be up next week.

If you haven't read my first fic Dark Angel, you should go read it. It gets more and more "favorite story" alerts every week. :o)

Okay, enough of my rambling. Enjoy chapter 11.

In case you forgot, we ended Chapter 10 with Bella standing at the top of the cliff at La Push, someone came up behind her and her foot slipped...****

**That Moment**

**Chapter 11 – Over the Edge**

**EPOV**

I had tried to catch her all day. I called. I texted. I called again. She finally sent me a message telling me she was okay. Other than that I hadn't heard from her. I still had no idea why she had been trying to reach me last night. I had a really bad feeling about it though. Her words from my dream kept echoing through my mind. "_Either we're together or we aren't. I can't go halfway._"

I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't wait to see her. I needed to tell her that I didn't want to go halfway either. Alice was having a cookout this evening and she was going to be there.

I arrived forty-five minutes early. Jasper was busy slicing tomatoes and onions for the hamburgers. Alice was chopping lettuce for the salad. And Charlie was building an immaculate racetrack for his hot wheels out of any materials he could get his hands on. I stepped carefully through the maze of pens and pencils scattered strategically across the floor.

"Edward!" Alice squealed from the kitchen. "I'm so glad you came to help! Can you get Charlie to clean up the Daytona 500 please?"

"But I'm in the middle of my race!" The little boy hit the floor with his hand and pouted in the general direction of the kitchen. It lasted only a moment before he was back to pushing the race cars through the maze.

"Did you build that track all by yourself?" I knelt down beside him and let my eyes wander over the track. It took up the whole living room floor and looked pretty complex. He had probably been working on it for awhile.

"Yeah. You want to see how it goes?" His eyes lit up with excitement and he grabbed one of the little cars. Standing up, he skillfully stepped through the intricate pattern without disturbing any of the pieces and declared "This is the starting line."

He walked me through the whole track, from start to finish. There were sharp turns, high jumps and even portals that transported the car from one area of the track to another. When he finished showing me the track he said "So it looks like this." Then he went through the track again with the little car in his hand. This time through the demonstration was complete with sound effects like screeching tires.

"So what do you think?" He was so proud of his creation that I had to tell him how very awesome it was. Then I asked him if I could try. He spent the next twenty minutes helping me maneuver my Hot Wheel through the track.

"Edward, you were supposed to get him to clean it up. Not sit here and play with him for an hour." Alice stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Charlie pouted again and I imitated him.

"But it's so much more fun to play than it is to clean up." I stuck my bottom lip out and got rewarded with Alice throwing her dish towel at me. Charlie laughed. "Okay, what do you say we demolish this here racetrack Charlie?" He looked up at me with an evil little grin and shook his head yes. Then he turned around and started kicking all the pieces of his beautiful racetrack into a big pile in the middle of the floor. He was growling and acting like a big dinosaur. Alice and I both cracked up laughing as he finished the complete demolition. He even picked up all the pieces and put them away. It wasn't until after we had Alice's living room back to the way it should be that I realized how late it had gotten. Rose and Emmett had gotten there a little while back and were currently manning the grill out back. Bella, however, was nowhere to be found.

"Charlie. Where's your mom?" I asked him as we headed into the kitchen. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. She was in a bad mood today. I think she has PMS."

Did he really just say that? I had to laugh.

"Charlie!" Alice chastised him and smacked my arm for laughing.

"You better watch it, man." Emmett chuckled. "You say that to the wrong person and you're liable to get hurt."

"What?" He looked up at Emmett with innocent eyes. "That's what Dad says whenever she's in a bad mood."

"Really?" Emmett laughed again. "Maybe that's why she doesn't want to live with your dad anymore, you know? Because he would say stuff like that to her."

Charlie shrugged his shoulders and opened the refrigerator to get a cup of orange juice.

"Nah," he said. "That's because he had sex with Vicky in the shower."

We all froze. Emmett, Alice, Jasper and I watched as he poured his juice and put the jug back in the fridge, like nothing had happened at all. Then he got this puzzled look on his face and stared right at me.

"What's that mean anyway?" he asked.

I blanched. Surely Bella's nine year old son was not asking me what having sex in the shower meant. Was he?

"What does what mean?" I asked, seeking clarification before I gave my answer. Emmett and Jasper were trying to keep straight faces. Alice's face was bright red and she was hiding it behind her hands. Rose was standing in the doorway. The look of shock on her face mimicked my own.

"PMS. What's it mean? Is that like puberty for women or something? Or does it have something to do with their, you know, thingies." He cupped his hands in front of his chest to imitate boobs, then bounced them up and down making this 'boom boom' noise.

I couldn't even breath I was laughing so hard. Alice had tears running down her face. Emmett was smiling as he swooped down and picked Charlie up. Rose and I both breathed a sigh of relief.

"I love this kid! Hey Rose! When we decide to have kids, I want one just like this!"

As the evening wore on, I became more and more anxious. The rain was starting to fall harder outside and the sun would be setting soon. No one had heard from Bella and she wasn't answering her phone. No one else seemed to even notice that she wasn't there.

I noticed.

After dinner I excused myself and left. I couldn't just sit around waiting anymore. I had to go find her. The first place I checked was her house. She wasn't there. I started driving around aimlessly, looking for her car in every parking lot I could find. I had almost given up and headed back to Alice's house when a thought struck me.

Charlie had said she was in a bad mood.

A light bulb went on over my head.

I knew where she was.

I made a U-turn and drove towards the ocean. Her car was sitting in the small gravel lot along the side of the road. I didn't know whether to be relieved because I had found her or to be terrified because I had found her here. I practically sprinted down the path towards the clearing at the top of the cliff. Rain was falling steadily now and my feet slipped in the mud more than once. I forced myself to slow to a walk as I neared the clearing. Honestly, I was afraid to even look. What if she wasn't there? I took a deep breath before stepping into the clearing.

She was there. Her feet were on the bottom rung of the fence and she was watching the waves crash against the cliffs below. She was soaked from head to toe. How long had she been standing here in the rain? I watched her for several minutes. She seemed to be mesmerized by the ocean and I was mesmerized by her.

I stepped forward slowly. I didn't want to scare her. I was only a few feet away when she seemed to hear my footsteps.

"Bella?" I asked her quietly.

Her head snapped up and her eyes met mine. Her foot slipped. She fell forward, over the railing.

"NO!" I tried to grab her before she went over the edge. My hands grabbed only empty air. I watched in horror as she tumbled helplessly over the edge of the cliff.

It took about two seconds for my brain to compute what had just happened. It took less time than that for me to climb over the fence and jump.

I bungee jumped once. It was one of those metal crane things where you paid twenty-five bucks, climbed to the top of the tower and strapped on a safety harness that was attached to a big fucking rubber band. Below the tower was a gigantic air bag, like the ones they use for fire rescues. So even if the giant rubber band broke, you would land on this big air bag, roll to safety and be good to go. Honestly, I was scared shitless to do it. Why would I want to willingly jump off a metal tower that had a perfectly good staircase? Bella, that's why. She jumped first and swore it was amazing. Then she told me I was a pussy if I didn't jump. A seventeen-year-old boy cannot let his almost-a-girlfriend show him up in front of his friends and call him a pussy. I had to prove to everyone that I was a manly man, you know?

Ice-cold water enveloped me, sending a shock through my bloodstream. I kicked toward the surface and was able to pull in some much needed air. Then I ducked back under the water, searching for any sign of her. The current was trying to pull me out away from the cliffs. Swimming had always been a strong point of mine. I was captain of the swim team in high school. Of course, that was fifteen years ago.

A wave was coming right for me, so I took in a deep breath and ducked under the surface. That's when I saw her. She was about ten yards away from me and she wasn't moving. Her arms and legs were limp in the water. She was obviously unconscious. Adrenaline coursed through my body as I swam through the water and wrapped my arms around her lifeless body. I started swimming towards the beach, being careful to keep her head above water. The current was still trying to pull me in the other direction. My muscles were aching and my lungs were burning and we were only half the distance to the shore.

Then I heard water splashing in front of me. I looked up to see two men swimming out to meet me. As they got closer to me, I was able to recognize them. It was Sam Uley and Jacob Black. Jacob took Bella and swam towards the shore. I was able to keep swimming on my own, barely, but Sam stayed by my side until we had reached the beach. I had never been so happy for solid ground before in my life.

"We called 911. The ambulance should be here any minute." Jacob said as I collapsed to the ground. I watched him lie Bella on her back. He swept the dark hair away from her face and immediately started doing CPR compressions. He was in his second cycle of compressions when he looked down at her. His rhythm faltered. "Fuck me." His eyes met mine briefly before returning to her face. "It's Bella Swan."

Yeah. No shit. I had regained some of my strength so I pushed him out of the way and continued the CPR compressions. I could hear the sirens as Sam directed the ambulance down to the beach.

"What do we have?" The EMT came up beside me. "Edward?" I looked up to see that Jasper was the one standing next to me.

"Jazz. I thought you were off tonight?" I moved out of the way and let him and his partner take over.

"Yeah. I got beeped. I guess there was a multiple car accident a little while ago. It has everyone tied up. I think they're trying to beep you right about now too."

"I'll just ride in with you. She fell from the top of the cliff. She hit her head in the fall. I'm pretty sure she was unconscious before she ever hit the water." He went back to the ambulance and grabbed the backboard and the neck brace.

"How long was she under water?"

"I jumped as soon as I saw her go over. She couldn't have been under very long. Forty-five seconds? A minute? I don't know. It happened fast, but seemed to take forever at the same time."

He stared at me for a moment, then looked at the top of the cliff and back at me again.

"You jumped off that cliff? I'm impressed." Yeah, well, Jasper had been present for the bungee jumping incident. He was also the only person in our group that knew the truth. I had never actually jumped off that damned tower. After twenty minutes of staring over the ledge, the frustrated attendant had pushed me, rather forcefully.

Jasper's partner had finished monitoring her vitals and told him to get the AED out of the truck. By this time a crowd was starting to form around the ambulance. Jacob and Sam did a great job pushing the crowd back while Jasper applied the AED patches to her chest.

It only took one shock to establish a rhythm. After that they quickly loaded her into the ambulance and we were off. I took the time while I was sitting with her to prepare myself for what I would need to do at the hospital. I didn't let myself think about what had happened or about the possible outcomes. Once we had arrived at the hospital I was in full out doctor mode. I had to be able to care for Bella impartially, as I would with any other patient. She had a nasty gash on the back of her head and a concussion.

By the time she was out of surgery Alice, Charlie, Rose, Emmett and the Chief were all sitting out in the waiting room, along with Sam and Jacob, waiting for the diagnosis. I told them that the surgery went fine, she had a mild concussion, and we would continue to monitor her closely. It was nearing midnight by then, so visiting hours were over. There really wasn't any reason for any of them to stay at the hospital. They all agreed and started collecting their stuff. I had just finished thanking Sam and Jacob for their help when I felt a small hand tugging on my lab coat. I looked down into tear-filled blue eyes.

"Can I stay here with mommy?" Charlie asked me.

I had held myself together very well until that point. There was something about the teary eyes of an innocent child that made me want to cry right along with him. I picked him up and glanced around quickly so he would think I didn't want anyone to hear me.

"I'll tell you what, Charlie. If you can promise me that you'll be very quiet, then I'll let you stay in your mom's room until my shift is over. Can you do that?" His eyes widened and he nodded his head quickly.

"I promise, Edward. I'll be really good."

Alice snorted.

"I've heard that one before. Good luck Edward." She winked at me before she left with Rose and Emmett.

Then it was just me, Charlie and the Chief.

He was watching me intently and I realized too late that I was still holding Charlie in my arms. He had his little hands wrapped around my neck and he was leaning against my shoulder. It was probably the quietest and most subdued that I had ever seen him.

"Cullen, it seems like I owe you an apology." The Chief's gruff voice surprised me and I looked up quickly.

"Sir?"

"I've always believed in admitting when you're wrong, Cullen, and when it comes to you it seems I was wrong more than once. How many times did I tell you to stay away from my daughter? Hell, I threatened to put you in jail for stalking her if you tried to find her after she moved away." He shook his head and ran his fingers through his thick black hair. "I could see the spark between you two. You'd be a damned blind fool if you didn't."

"That was a long time ago, sir. Water under the bridge, you know?" Charlie was looking back and forth between his grandfather and I curiously. From what Bella had told me about him, I suppose he was trying to figure out what we were talking about.

"Why were you there tonight, Edward?" The Chief's eyes pierced through me. I didn't have to answer. He already knew. I was there because Bella was in trouble, and because I love her too much to let anything happen to her. He nodded in understanding before stepping close enough to ruffle Charlie's hair while still maintaining eye contact with me. "Take care of them." He said pointedly. Then he turned to leave.

He was almost out the door when I found my voice.

"You didn't just threaten, sir. You did put me in jail, remember? The day she left town." He turned around and glared at me, his eyes narrowed to slits.

"That one I'm not apologizing for, Cullen." We stared each other down for a long moment before we both cracked up laughing.

"What's so funny?" Charlie asked me. I set him down and took his hand and we both waved to the Chief as he left.

"I'll tell you when you're older." I promised. "Let's go find your mom, okay?"

We made our way through the maze of hospital rooms until we found the one with Bella sleeping peacefully inside. The monitor was beeping steadily and everything seemed to be normal. Charlie approached the bed quietly. I watched him to make sure he didn't pull on any tubes or push any buttons. I was impressed by how well he was acting.

There was a small couch in one corner. It wasn't the most comfortable seat, but it was better than nothing. All of a sudden I seemed to be exhausted. It had been such a long day, and an even longer night. I sat on the couch and watched Charlie. He saw me sit down and came over only a few minutes later to sit with me. We didn't talk. We just sat there and listened to the monitors and watched Bella sleep. A small snoring sound to my left told me that Charlie had fallen asleep. I let my head fall back against the couch and my eyes drifted closed. 

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So what do you guys think? Give me a review and let me know. Love it? Hate it?<strong>

**BTW, the conversation w/Charlie about PMS was taken word for word from a conversation I had with my son. Seriously, that kid cracks me up sometimes. Does anyone have any funny kid conversations like that?**


	12. Safe Word

AN: Wow. Okay, it has been a really long time since I updated. And after I promised I wouldn't do that too. :o( So sorry! *hangs head in shame*. The good news is I passed the godforsaken class I was taking Fall Quarter. Yay! Next quarter should be easier, which should give me more writing time.

Thanks to Jesi and Yenny and to all the readers that have this story on alert. I heart you all.

**Chapter 12 – Safe Word**

**BPOV**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

What on Earth was that annoying sound?

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It almost sounded like an alarm clock. Almost. I never set my alarm to "beep" mode, though. It had to be something else.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It obviously wasn't going to stop on it's own. I suppose I would just have to get up and turn it off myself. If Charlie was up and playing some kind of video game that was making that god-forsaken noise, I would strangle him Homer Simpson style.

Slowly I willed my eyes to open. I blinked a few times, letting my eyesight adjust to the dim lighting in the room. Where the hell was I?

The beeping noise was coming from my right. I turned my head to see what was making all the racket and I immediately regretted it as a sharp pain coursed through the back of my head. I inhaled sharply and squeezed my eyes shut against the pain. It faded away slowly and I once again forced my eyes to open. That's when I saw the heart monitor set up next to me and I realized I was in a hospital bed.

What the fuck? Why was I in the hospital?

I turned my head the other direction, much slower this time, and I saw them. Edward was sound asleep on the small couch with Charlie curled up in his lap. His head was resting against Edward's chest and he was snoring softly. Edward had an arm around him holding him protectively.

The sight of it made my heart stop. Well, not literally or the annoying machine to my right would have gone ballistic, but still, you get the picture.

I watched them for a few minutes before I heard the door open quietly. I turned my head (very slowly) to see Dr. Carlisle Cullen walk in. He was holding my chart in his hands and was looking down at the paper as he crossed the floor. He was already at the side of my bed before he looked up. His eyes landed on the sleeping forms of Edward and Charlie and he froze. He stared at them for a long moment before his face broke into a grin.

"Maybe there is hope for grandbabies in our future after all." He chuckled. Then he pulled out his iPhone and snapped a picture. I giggled, but the pain shot through my head again so I stopped with a cringe.

"So how are you feeling this morning, Bella?" He asked as he started checking my vitals.

"My head hurts really bad." I told him and he nodded. "Dr. Cullen, what happened?"

He stopped what he was doing and his eyes met mine.

"You gave us quite a scare. You don't remember what happened?"

I scrunched my eyes and nose as I tried to remember what had happened to land me in a hospital bed. I came up blank.

"Not really. I had a really bad day so I drove out to the cliffs. I like watching the water break against the rocks. It calms me, you know? Anyway, I remember standing on the railing, sorting shit out in my head." I wasn't really talking to Carlisle anymore. I was just talking it through in my head. Except out loud.

I hesitated. That's where my memory got fuzzy.

"I think Edward came up behind me. I turned around to see him."

Then what?

"My foot slipped and I fell forward." My voice was no more than a whisper now. Holy shit! Did I fall off the cliff? My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. I looked up into Carlisle's eyes, searching them for confirmation or denial. What I saw there made my blood run cold.

"No. No fucking way. I'd be dead right now!"

"You hit your head pretty hard in the fall." His eyes flickered to where Edward was still sleeping then back to me again. "If Edward hadn't been there…"

"So he caught me, then? Before I went over the edge?"

He swallowed visibly and shook his head slightly.

"No. He wasn't able to catch you, Bella."

I let his words sink in slowly. I was hearing him, but I don't think my brain comprehended what he was saying.

"No." I couldn't believe it. "There's just no way. Edward is terrified of heights. He would never even look over the edge with me, much less jump."

It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. If it were true, that would mean that Edward cared about me enough to jump off a cliff to save me.

Carlisle gave me a minute to process that information. I was pretty sure by the look on his face that he had already come to the same conclusion.

"I'll send a nurse in with something for the pain. You'll be released this morning, but I want you to rest for the next few days."

He was joking, right?

"Carlisle, I'm a single mom and I work two jobs. When exactly am I supposed to rest?"

He raised his eyebrows at me and scribbled something on his notepad.

"I'll write you a note for work. I don't want you going back until after your check up next week. And I'm sure you have plenty of friends that can help you with your son for the next few days." He glanced back at Edward and Charlie to make his point. "I suppose if that isn't enough I'll just have to keep you here for a few days."

My eyes narrowed. I knew when I was being played. He was giving me an ultimatum, rest or stay in the hospital. Not exactly good choices.

"Fine. I am not staying here all week. I'll rest. I promise." I sighed and laid my head back against my pillow, which of course sent a shock of pain through my system.

"I'll get your paperwork all started then. It'll take a couple of hours before you'll be free to go." He smiled at me, knowing that he had won the battle.

Shortly after he left a nurse came in and injected something into my IV. She said it would help with the pain. What she meant to say was that it would knock me the hell out and I wouldn't feel anything at all for several hours. When I opened my eyes again sunlight was streaming in through the windows. The couch where Edward and Charlie had been sleeping was empty.

I called the nurse to let her know I was awake. She came in with paperwork for me to sign, a prescription for antibiotics and pain meds. Then she unhooked all the various tubes and wires that were attached to me. She told me that I'd be able to leave as soon as Edward got back. I didn't have any clothes to wear, so she provided me with a pair of scrubs and some slippers.

I moved slowly into the bathroom. My head was still pounding and I felt off balance. Not that balance had ever been one of my strong points.

I looked in the mirror and froze in horror. I looked like an escaped mental patient or something. There was a bandage wrapped around the back of my head and my hair was dry and stringy and matted to my back and shoulders. I needed a shitload of conditioner and some make up, stat! Good Lord, was I always this pale? Maybe it was just the fluorescent lighting.

There were some essentials set up on a shelf, so I went ahead and brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth out really good with Scope. It helped with the awful cottonmouth feeling that I had woken up with, and helped me feel a little more human. I took off the backless hospital gown and slipped into the green scrubs the nurse had given me. By then I was starting to feel light-headed and dizzy, so I went back to my bed and laid back down.

A few minutes later I heard the door open. I lifted my eyelids slowly and saw Edward standing by my bed. He had changed into faded blue jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was damp. Either he just got out of the shower or it was raining outside. Again. I wouldn't have been surprised.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" He smiled as his eyes met mine. He picked up my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Like hell." I admitted. "My head is killing me and I'm exhausted."

He nodded like he would have expected me to say just that. I could see the concern hidden in his green eyes, but there was something else there too.

"Dad said you need to rest for at least the next week. I'm going to make sure you do just that." He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles softly. I opened my mouth to protest but he covered it quickly with his other hand. "This is what's going to happen, Bella. I'm going to help you while you get better, and you're going to let me. Got it?"

I shook my head no. He had already saved my life, right? I couldn't ask him to help me any more that that. I owed him too much already.

"You don't exactly have a choice in the matter, baby."

I closed my eyes and sighed in resignation. I wasn't the type of person to ask for help. I had spent my whole life depending on just one person, myself.

He moved his hand from my mouth and caressed the side of my face gently. I opened my eyes and met his gaze. The intensity in his eyes took my breath away. He leaned down and kissed my lips softly.

"Okay then. Are you ready to go home now?"

I nodded my head in defeat. Like he said, I didn't really have much of a choice.

**EPOV**

I woke up just after seven o'clock in the morning with a terrible kink in my neck and Charlie snoring loudly against my chest. I really need to sleep in an actual bed tonight. I tried to lift him off my lap without disturbing him, but as soon as I moved he woke up. He looked disoriented at first. When he saw Bella sleeping across the room he remembered where he was.

"Is mom okay now?" he asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Let me go check, okay buddy? Stay here and be quiet." I found the nurse and learned that my dad had already been in to see Bella. She had been awake and he was releasing her this afternoon. He had given her explicit instructions to rest for at least a week. I knew that she wouldn't willingly take any down time so I was going to have to do everything in my power to make sure she took care of herself and gave her body time to recuperate.

I didn't have a lot of time, though, especially since she'd be released in just a few short hours. There was so much to do. I was going to need help. Jasper and Rose were both working today, so I called Alice and Emmett for reinforcements. It didn't take long at all to convince them to help me. Actually, I think they were thrilled that I had asked them.

We dropped Charlie off at school and got to work. We spent the next four hours getting everything we would need. We were getting things done at an amazing speed, but we weren't quite finished when the hospital called to let me know Bella was ready to go home. Alice and Emmett kept working while I took a fast shower and went to get her.

When I walked into the hospital room, I took a moment to just look at her. She had changed into a pair of scrubs and she was lying there on the bed. She wasn't asleep but her eyes were closed. She looked like an angel. A tired, sad angel.

She tried to argue with me about letting me help her, just like I knew she would. I didn't give her a choice though and she gave up without much of a fight.

She stared out the car window as we pulled away from the hospital. Her head was resting against the back of the seat and her eyes drooped closed before we made it halfway through town. It wasn't until the car had come to a stop and I put it in park that she opened her eyes and looked around. Her eyes were narrowed when she turned to look at me.

"I thought you were taking me home. Why are we here?" She sounded confused.

I had thought of a hundred different ways to tell her this. I knew it didn't matter how I said it. She was going to be all kinds of pissed off about this.

"You're staying with me this week."

She groaned and shook her head, wincing as she did so.

"Edward. I can't just stay with you all week. What about Charlie?"

"He's staying here too." I didn't give her a chance to respond. I climbed out of the car and walked around to open her door for her. She glared at me, again, but took my hand and let me help her to the door.

Alice and Emmett had finished up and were sitting in the kitchen eating pizza.

"Oh God that smells good. I'm starving!" Bella said as soon as we walked in.

"Hey Bells. How are you feeling?" Emmett stood up and gave her a hug. Then he held out his chair and insisted she sit down.

"Thanks Em. And I, uh, feel like I fell off a cliff." He laughed loudly.

"You scared the shit out of us Isabella Marie Swan! Don't you dare ever, ever do that again!" Alice wrapped her arms around Bella's shoulders and held her tightly.

"But Alice! I have to do it again. I didn't even get to enjoy the adrenaline rush this time around!"

All three of us glared at her, not amused in the least.

"That's not even a little bit funny." Alice grumbled. Bella just shrugged her shoulders before grabbing a piece of pizza and taking a huge bite. I should have realized she probably hadn't eaten anything since lunch yesterday.

"So did anyone call the office and let them know I wouldn't be there today?"

"Um, yeah. I did." Alice wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Your boss wasn't very happy." She didn't elaborate even though we were all waiting for her to continue. Bella's eyes narrowed and she shot Alice this look. Alice actually started to squirm under her gaze. I don't think I'd ever seen her squirm like that before. Emmett and I exchanged amused looks as we watched the interaction between the two women sitting in front of us.

"Okay, fine!" Alice threw her hands up in frustration like she had just lost a huge battle. "She said that unless you were dead you better be at work tomorrow."

Bella groaned and covered her eyes with her hands.

"Then I kinda sorta called her a heartless bitch and hung up on her."

Bella's brown eyes widened and she quickly covered her face with both hands. I couldn't tell if she was really angry or trying not to laugh.

"Oh Alice! Please tell me you didn't!"

"What! Well, she is a heartless bitch. I don't know how you can stand to work for that woman. Seriously! No wonder you wanted to jump off a cliff!"

An uncomfortable silence filled the kitchen. Bella wrapped her arms around her chest and glared at Alice.

"It's not like I have much of a choice, you know. Somebody has to pay the rent. Fuck. What time is it anyway?" She was choosing to ignore the elephant in the room. I think we all got that, but sooner or later we were going to have to have a serious discussion about what she was doing standing on the top of that cliff.

"It's time for you to take your pain meds and lie down." I told her. She narrowed her eyes and hmphed at me.

"Uh, no. I need to take a shower and get ready for class. I have to be at the college by four thirty."

I blinked quickly in surprise. Was she serious? She could barely keep her eyes open! Did she really think she was going to be able to teach two classes?

"You're going to have to cancel, baby. You need to rest."

She crossed her arms on the table and laid her head down. She looked like she was torn between doing what she wanted to do, which was lie down, and doing what she 'had' to do, which was go teach her classes.

"I can't cancel. We have our first test tonight." There was no way in hell I was letting her go to the college. She needed rest. That was the whole reason for bringing her to my house in the first place, so I could make sure she was resting like she was supposed to be.

"Hey, don't worry about it, teach. I'll take your place and give the test." Emmett grinned. She lifted her head long enough to roll her eyes at him.

"Very funny Em. I don't think so."

"I could do it." Alice suggested. "You have them ready, right? I can hand them out, watch to make sure they don't cheat, and collect them when they're finished. No problem."

She considered it for a minute before nodding her head in agreement. She gave Alice instructions on where to go and what to do. Then she asked Emmett to stay with Alice until both classes were over. I thought that was a little bit weird, but didn't say anything. I'd have to remember to ask her about it later. Then she said she wanted to go lie down. I could tell how tired she was, so I followed her up the stairs.

"You do realize that as long as Charlie is staying here too, you'll be sleeping on the couch. You know that, right?" I couldn't help but smile at her assumption.

When we made it to the top of the stairs, she turned towards my bedroom. I stopped her by placing my hand on her shoulder.

"Bella, love, that's my room."

She hesitated and scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. I simply smiled and motioned for her to follow me. I stopped outside the room that she had loved, the one with the window seat, and I slowly opened the door.

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Edward? What the hell?"

The room was no longer a vast empty space. A queen sized mahogany framed bed sat against the far wall. It was covered with a dark blue comforter and light blue pillows. The curtains were striped with varying shades of blue and cream. They were pulled off the side to reveal the window seat with several throw pillows in shades of blue to match the curtains. On the wall opposite of the bed sat a four drawer mahogany dresser. On top of the dresser was a forty-two inch flat screen plasma television.

"Did you…did you buy all this stuff for me?" She asked quietly.

"Well, really I needed an actual guest room anyway, right? So you're just the first person that will be staying here." I didn't want her to be upset about it. I held my breath, hoping she wouldn't be angry. I couldn't tell what she was thinking and it was making me apprehensive.

"Do I even want to ask where Charlie is staying?" She wasn't looking at me; her eyes were still scanning the bedroom as she talked.

"Down the hall. Come on. I'll show you." I led her to the room at the end of the hallway. We had set up a twin bed with a red comforter and white pillows. There was a small dresser in the corner and a shelf with totes full of hot wheels and racetracks.

"He's going to love it, Edward." She finally said with a small chuckle. "So do I, by the way." She turned around to face me and she had a small smile on her lips. She stepped closer and placed her hands on my chest.

"This is amazing. Thank you." The sincerity in her eyes squeezed my heart.

I leaned down and kissed her softly, then whispered, "You're welcome" in her ear.

I held her for a long moment before leading her back to her room so she could lie down and rest. She fell asleep almost immediately.

"Did she like it?" Alice asked when I walked back into the kitchen. She was practically bouncing with excitement.

"She loved it. Thanks guys. I never could have done all this without you. I owe you both big time."

"I knew she'd love it." She said with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Are you sure you'll be okay with Charlie here? You don't have a lot of experience with kids you know." They were getting ready to leave when Emmett spoke up. I hadn't really thought about the fact that Charlie would actually be staying with me. We really didn't know each other very well.

"We'll be fine. Charlie's a great kid." I shrugged my shoulders and tried to play off my sudden anxiety. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect from him.

"Good luck with that, Edward." Alice was trying not to laugh. "Call me if you need help, okay?"

They were both laughing as they left the house. Was the thought of me taking care of a kid really that funny? I didn't think so. It wasn't just any kid I would e taking care of, though. It was Charlie. The same Charlie that had been in my office with a high fever and was still bouncing off the walls. Literally. Ugh. I groaned to myself. What had I gotten myself into? Was I ready for this? I looked at the clock and realized it didn't really matter if I was ready or not. It was time to go pick Charlie up from school.

The elementary school was just how I remembered it to be, except smaller. Much smaller. For example, I honestly don't remember the urinals sitting clear down on the damn floor. Crazy. My footsteps echoed down the hallway as I made my way to room 209. I must have been a few minutes early because all the kids were still in their seats when I knocked on the door.

The teacher was handing out papers that the kids were shoving into their backpacks. She was young. I guessed somewhere in her mid twenties. She was a little on the heavy side, with light brown hair and sparkling eyes. She looked up at me and froze in place. I don't think she realized she was staring with her mouth hanging open until a couple of the young girls in the class started giggling. Then her face turned bright red and her mouth clamped shut.

"Sorry to interrupt." I said in my most polite voice. "I'm here to pick up Charlie." Charlie, who had been so busy talking to the girl sitting next to him to even realize I was standing there, looked up quickly when he heard his name.

"You'll have to wait just a minute." She said dismissively as she returned to the task of handing out papers. I noticed that Charlie never even looked at his. He just shoved it into his desk along with what looked like a lot more just like it.

I stood out of the way as the kids collected their things and got into a line by the door. A bell rang moments later and they sprinted out the door. Charlie was still at his desk, watching me carefully.

"So you're picking Charlie up today? What's your name?" She made it a point not to look at me as she sat at her desk and turned on the computer screen. I guess she was still embarrassed by her reaction to seeing me in her classroom.

"Edward Cullen. I'm a friend of Bella's." She clicked through a couple of screens on her computer before finally looking at me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, but you aren't on the list of people permitted to pick him up from school. I'll need permission from Mrs. Newton before I can let you take him."

I stared at her incredulously. She was kidding, right?

"Let me take care of this, Mrs. Roberts." Charlie stood up and stepped between us. "Edward, do you know the safe word?"

I blinked in confusion. Safe word? Um…what the hell?

"Safe word?" I asked him, looking to the teacher for help.

"Edward, mom should have told you the safe word. I'm not supposed to go with anyone that doesn't know it." The little shit smirked at me and went back to his desk. I glared at him as I pulled out my cell phone and called Alice.

"Oh Edward, school just let out! You don't need help already, do you?" I could hear the laughter in her voice. I would strangle her if she was standing beside me right then.

"Funny Alice. What is the safe word?" I asked her through gritted teeth.

"Edward! That's between me and Jasper!" She scolded me, but I could still hear the little giggle in her voice. I rolled my eyes at her, even though she couldn't see it through the phone line.

"Nice Alice. Way too much information. Charlie won't leave the school with me until I give him the safe word."

"Oh. OH! Yeah, I don't know what that would be. Sorry." She was outright laughing now. Useless little pixie.

"So if he won't go with me and his mother just got of the hospital and can't come here to pick him up, what then? He just stays here tonight?" My irritation was growing by the second. This was supposed to be the easy part, just pick him up from school, right? And now Bella is sitting at the house alone and I didn't even tell her where I was going. So if she wakes up she won't even know where I am. Great.

"Cool! I'd have the whole place to myself!" Charlie seemed to love the idea of staying at the school all night. Weird kid.

"No." Mrs. Roberts shot that down pretty quick. "We will call the emergency contact on file."

The emergency contact happened to be Chief Swan. Of course. She didn't tell him the situation. She didn't explain that I was standing right there. No. She simply told him he needed to come to the school to pick Charlie up. Then we waited.

While we were waiting, Charlie showed me around his classroom and told me what all the centers were for. I saw the picture he had drawn of the solar system hanging on the wall outside the classroom. It was very detailed and I was thoroughly impressed. He explained every piece of it. He had even drawn all the moons for each planet and knew the names for most of them. Pretty cool, right?

Fifteen minutes later I watched the squad car pull up in front of the building. The Chief didn't look very happy as he stomped through the rain to the front doors. As soon as he rounded the corner, Charlie took off running down the hall and leaped into his outstretched arms.

"Grandpa!" He squealed. "Finally!"

The Chiefs eyes met mine and a look of confusion crossed over his face.

"Edward? How long have you been here?"

I glanced at my phone in frustration.

"Almost forty-five minutes, sir." I motioned between the teacher and Charlie. "They wouldn't let me take Charlie home."

"Why not?" His eyes narrowed as he glared first at the teacher, then at Charlie.

"He didn't know the safe word!" Charlie said defensively.

The Chief sent a penetrating glare his way for all of about two seconds before his face broke out in a grin.

"That's my boy!" He stated proudly as he gave Charlie a high five. "You can never be too safe, Edward. Especially when it's my grandson you're talking about." He shook the teacher's hand and she smiled smugly at me. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. The Chief was right. How many kids are taken every day? What if I had just walked in, told the teacher I was picking Charlie up, and we had left the school with no questions asked? The thought sent a cold chill down my spine. The irritation I had felt towards his teacher vanished and was replaced quickly by gratitude.

We finally made it out of the school building. The Chief followed us to my car and made sure Charlie got in the back seat and buckled his seat belt. As we pulled away from the school I heard Charlie say something but I couldn't hear him. I turned the radio down and asked him to repeat himself.

"Is the fat cat still fat?" He said it a little louder this time, but it still didn't make any sense.

"What?"

"I said is the fat cat still fat. That's the safe word, just so you know. Well, it's not really a safe word, it's more like a safe phrase, but you get the point."

"So, your safe word is 'Is the fat cat still fat?' Right?"

"Yep." He smiled and giggled.

"So if someone tries to take you somewhere and they don't know the safe word, you won't go with them? No matter what they tell you?"

"Nope. They have to know the safe word. Except for mom and grandpa and Alice."

"Well then, I think you have the perfect safe word. No one would ever guess it. And I promise I won't tell anyone what it is."

"Thanks. I came up with it all by myself." He grinned at me.

When we finally made it back to the house, Bella was awake. She was sitting on the couch in the living room watching television and eating leftover pizza.

"Hey. I was starting to think you got lost."

Charlie ran to her and jumped in her lap. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

"Are you better now mommy?"

"No." She shook her head slightly and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I have a big boo-boo on my head. Edward is going to let us stay with him for a few days so he can make sure it heals up all right. Is that okay with you?"

"Do I have to sleep on the floor?" He turned around and directed his question at me. I wasn't quite sure where that would have come from.

"I have a room upstairs that you can stay in. But if you want to sleep on the floor that would be okay too."

Silence filled the room as he thought that through. Bella was the one to speak up, though.

"Why would you think you had to sleep on the floor?"

"I have to sleep on the floor at Vicki's house." He shrugged his shoulders like it was the most natural response in the world.

I felt my hands curling into fists and I could see Bella's doing the same thing. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before opening them again. The seething hatred that was boiling in those chocolate depths sent chills down my spine. Thank God it wasn't directed at me.

"Come on buddy. I'll take you up to see your room." He ran ahead of me to the staircase.

"Are you okay?" I asked Bella before I followed him.

"I am going to fucking kill him." She was seething. "Where the hell is my phone?"

"Your phone didn't survive the swim in the ocean, baby." I wrapped my hands around her wrists and pulled her up off the couch. "Now isn't the right time to call him anyway. You need to build your strength up before you attack."

She mumbled curses under her breath for the next ten minutes straight. If she had been feeling better I would have suggested the punching bag. Or the weight bench…

Charlie loved his room and immediately started playing with the cars and racetracks. We had to pull him away from it a few hours later for dinner and to do his homework. Bella insisted that he clean all the toys up in his room before he took a shower and went to bed.

By the time he finally settled down, she was absolutely exhausted.

"Come on Bella. It's time for you to go to bed too." She barely resisted me as I pulled her towards her bedroom.

"I need to take a shower before I lay back down. I feel gross." She was so tired that she was stumbling over her own feet.

"You can't take a shower, baby. You have stitches in your head. Plus, you are so tired you can barely stand up."

She leaned into me and I wrapped my arms around her. I suppose I did need to check her stitches anyway.

"If you want to take a bath I can check your stitches and help you wash your hair." I led her into the bathroom and started the bath. When I finished checking the water temperature I turned around and saw her watching me intently.

"You are to good to be true, Edward Cullen." She whispered as I helped her out of her dirty clothes. She was still wearing the scrubs the nurse had given her at the hospital.

She sank into the hot water and sighed deeply.

I removed the bandage from her head gently washed her hair, being extra careful around the stitches. I massaged in the conditioner and let it sit as I filled the sponge with body soap. She watched me the whole time. I ran the sponge over her legs first, and then her arms. Then I washed off her stomach and her chest. Our eyes met more than once. Each time a fresh jolt of energy would sear through me. There was something in her eyes, something that I had never seen there before. Somewhere along the line things had changed between us.

When she was finished in the bath and her hair had been brushed out, I tucked her into bed and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Edward…I don't want to be alone. Will you lay down with me? Just for a little bit?"

I didn't hesitate. I lay down in the bed beside her and pulled her into my arms. The stress of the last two days caught up to me and I fell into a deep sleep with my angel safely in my arms. 

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So what do you guys think? Reviews are awesome, but just knowing that people are reading makes me smile.

If you haven't read "Firefly in Summer" yet, you're missing out. The link is in my favorites list.  
>Also, highly recommend "Torn" It's the most well-written and emotionally charged fic I have probably ever read. Again, link is in my favorites. Warning, though, keep your tissues close. <p>


	13. Promises

**Hey guys. Thanks for sticking with me. Sorry for the long wait between updates. Don't give up on me though. I'm still writing, just really busy right now.**

**Chapter 13 – Promises**

**BPOV**

The next few days were bewildering to say the least. Edward took care of everything. I mean it. Everything! He cooked breakfast and dinner and cleaned up after we ate. He took care of Charlie, taking him and picking him up from school, helping him with his homework, and spending a little bit of time each evening playing video games or watching television with him.

The pain in my head was slowly getting better and the dizzy spells were becoming less frequent, but he never let me help. When I would try, he would just tell me to sit down and rest.

On Sunday it was a beautiful day out, so instead of sitting in the house we all headed to the park. I sat at the picnic table and read while Edward and Charlie played soccer. Well, I was trying to read anyway. I couldn't focus on the words very much and found myself reading the same page over and over again. I kept getting distracted. Eventually I gave up on the reading altogether and just watched the boys playing.

Edward was just amazing.

And I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on to see him out there getting all sweaty.

We had been there for about an hour and I was starting to get worn out. Even though I was feeling better, I still got tired fairly easily. I was getting ready to signal to Edward that I was ready to go when I heard my name being called out behind me. My blood ran cold and my fingers gripped the edges of the picnic table.

I was so not ready for this right now.

What the fuck was he doing here?

Edward turned as my name was yelled out yet again. His eyes met mine. I don't know what he saw in my face. Anger? Panic? Anger because he had no business being here. Panic because I knew I didn't have it in me to argue with him right now. I was already worn down. I couldn't do this right now.

"Isabella! What the hell? I've been trying to call you for days. Where the hell have you been?"

He was getting closer now and though I didn't turn around to look, I could see him stomping through the grass towards me. My eyes didn't leave Edward's. I wondered if he understood what was about to happen.

He nodded his head slightly, an answer to my unasked question. He told Charlie to go play on the playground for a little bit, and then made his way across the park to my table.

"You could at least turn around and look at me. God! Why are you such a bitch?"

I let out a deep sigh and tried to center myself before turning slowly in my seat and watching him take the final five steps to the picnic table.

"I lost my cell phone. I haven't had a chance to replace it yet." I didn't even have the energy to inject any venom into my voice. So pathetic.

He stopped at the edge of the table and stared down at me. The look in his eyes went from anger to confusion to…compassion? No. That couldn't be right.

"I called the house phone, too. I even called the office, but you weren't there." He stuck his hands in his pockets and kicked at the dirt with the toe of his work boot. "I heard…"

He sighed in frustration and sat down opposite from me at the table.

"I heard that you fell off of a fucking cliff and almost died. Is that true?" His blue eyes pierced through me. If I didn't know better I would think he was concerned about me or something. Yeah, right.

But I didn't have it in me to fight. I was just so fucking tired. And the park was starting to spin a little.

"What if it is?" Okay, so I could still fight a little.

"Don't you think that's something I should know about? Come on Bella! I still care about you; you know that. Give me a little bit of credit here!"

I rolled my eyes. He didn't care about me when we were together. Why start now?

"How did you even hear about it?" I sure in the hell didn't tell him.

"Are you forgetting that your boss is Sandra's sister?"

Right. How could I forget that?

"One more reason why I can't wait to quit that job." I groaned, putting my head in my hands.

"You can't quit your job, Bella. You know it and I know it."

I felt Edward walking up behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I leaned back against him for support. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The dizziness was getting worse.

"Who the hell are you?"

My hands tightened into fists on my lap at the tone of his voice. Edward's hands tightened slightly on my shoulders.

"Edward Cullen. I'm a friend of Bella's" He held his hand across the table.

"Mike Newton. Bella's husband." My eyes snapped open at that word. I watched Mike gripping Edward's hand. It wasn't a handshake as much as it was a contest to see who could squeeze the hardest.

"Ex-husband, Mike. We aren't married anymore, remember?"

His eyes flickered back to mine.

"So why can't Bella quit her job?" His hands were on my shoulders again. The dizzy spell had passed, but I continued to lean on him for support. Why? Because I could, that's why.

"Seriously?" Mike almost laughed at him. "Well, there is the obvious that without a job she can't pay the rent, right babe? Not like you have a trust fund to fall back on or anything. Then there's the fact that she's a complete work-a-holic and control freak. And let's not forget that our son has another surgery coming up and without a job there won't be any insurance to pay for it. So yeah, she pretty much has to keep working. Don't you babe?"

Yeah. Exactly. What he said. My shoulders slumped forward in defeat, because I knew he was right. He knew it, too, and he smirked at me knowing that he had made his point.

Edward's hands squeezed my shoulders reassuringly. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes and I just wanted to get away from there.

"Why are you here, Mike? You really drove all the way to Forks because you couldn't reach me on the phone? What, were you hoping I had died and you could collect my life insurance?"

"Funny." His eyes narrowed. "I was trying to get a hold of you for a reason, actually."

Of course he was. I knew it wasn't because he was worried about me. Jackass.

"I moved in with mom and dad, in the apartment in the garage."

"You mean you didn't move in with Victoria?"

He had the grace to at least look down at his feet.

"No. She uh…we aren't seeing each other anymore."

Well. That was new.

"Wow. That's a damn shame Mike. I know Charlie will be disappointed." His eyes snapped to mine, full of confusion. "You know, he'll miss the sleepovers at her house where he got to sleep on the floor. Asshole."

His eyes narrowed and he looked between Edward and I.

"Whatever. Like you're the perfect fucking mother or something."

I glared at him with everything I had, which wasn't much unfortunately. Like I said, I didn't really have it in me to fight right then. I just wanted to go lie down. Plus, we had had this argument so many times I had the damn thing memorized.

"This is what I think, Mike. You weren't trying to get a hold of me because you were worried about me. You were trying to get a hold of me because Victoria dumped you. Let me guess, she wasn't willing to carry your lazy ass like I always did. Now you have to cook and clean for yourself and pay your own rent. No wonder you moved in with mommy. I bet she's more than happy to baby you all over again, isn't she?"

The look on his face confirmed everything I had said. I watched as his face turned red in anger and embarrassment. I wouldn't have been surprised to see smoke rolling out of his ears.

"Fucking bitch."

"Go home, Mike. I'm touched that you were so concerned about me, really. But see, I'm fine." I wasn't fine. I felt like I could pass out at any minute. I would never show him that, though. I learned a long time ago that he couldn't care less.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" We all turned to see Charlie approaching the table. He stood at the end of the table, looking at me on one side and Mike on the other side. Smart kid that he was, he didn't pick a side to sit down on, he just stood at the end.

"I just wanted to check on your mom, buddy." Liar.

"Did you know that she fell and hit her head and now her brain's all swelled up?"

"Yeah, I heard something like that."

"You guys aren't fighting again, are you? Because Edward says that mom can't handle stress until her brain heals up and we have to be nice to her until she's all better."

"Really? What else does Edward say?" He folded his arms in front of him and glared openly at Edward now.

Charlie, however, completely missed the sarcasm in his dad's voice.

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders. "Are we ready to go yet? I'm starving. Can we get chicken nuggets from McDonald's?"

"Yeah. Your dad was just leaving too. Give him a hug then we'll get going."

To Mike's credit he did wrap his arms around Charlie and hug him. Then he whispered, "I love you buddy" in his ear.

I didn't want to stand up while he was still sitting there. The dizzy spell hadn't quite passed yet and I was afraid I would fall over if I tried to move. Edward sensed my hesitation and leaned down to whisper in my ear while Mike and Charlie were saying their goodbyes.

"Are you okay to stand?"

I shook my head slightly, telling him no, I really wasn't. His hand found mine and gripped it securely.

"Don't let me fall," I whispered to him. He squeezed my hand gently.

"Never." A shiver ran down my spine at his response.

I managed to make it to the car without passing out. I didn't bother saying bye to Mike before I sat in the passenger seat and closed the door. Charlie got in the car right behind me, leaving Edward and Mike alone. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but when Edward got in the car a few moments later he was pissed.

"How in the hell did you stay married to that man for twelve years, Bella?"

I had to laugh just a little bit.

"I know, right? I've asked myself that question more than you will ever know."

As soon as we got back to Edward's house I excused myself and went to bed. I don't know how I managed to make it to the bedroom without breaking down. As soon as the door was closed behind me, the tears started to fall.

I know. It was so stupid.

For a brief moment in time, I almost believed it.

I almost believed that he had tracked me down just because he was worried about me.

Not that I really expected it to be true.

Not that I wanted to believe it or anything.

So fucking stupid.

**EPOV**

I should have kicked his ass when I had the chance. Seriously, what a freaking douche bag. What the hell had she ever seen in him?

When we got back to the house, Bella had gone straight to bed. I knew she was tired and needed her rest, but I had a nagging feeling that something else was wrong. I was pretty sure the whole situation had bothered her more than she would ever let on.

After I had put Charlie to bed I went in her room to check on her.

She was pacing the floor slowly, mumbling to herself. When she heard me enter, she turned to look at me with fire flashing in her eyes.

"Why am I so damned stupid, Edward? Why?" She picked up a pillow from the window seat and threw it across the room.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about baby." I caught the pillow easily and threw it on the bed. She wasn't just upset. She was pissed. It was kind of sexy.

"I let him fucking get to me! Again! How does he keep fucking doing that?"

She spun around to resume her pacing and lost her balance. The dizzy spells were still kicking her ass even if she wouldn't admit it. The asshat was right about one thing, she's definitely too stubborn for her own good.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and caught her before she fell.

"It's because you have a good heart baby. You want to believe the best of people. Even that jackass."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest. I wanted nothing more than to hold her like that forever.

"I should have kicked his ass when I had the chance." I muttered to myself.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I wish you hadn't been there."

What the fuck?

I had to admit that it stung to hear her say that. Had I misinterpreted her actions at the park? She had practically begged me to help her with those puppy-dog eyes of hers. Then she had leaned on me for support, literally. Did she really wish that I hadn't been there? Did she really want to face that asshole alone?

She pushed away from me and went to stand by the window.

"Don't get me wrong. Part of me is really glad you were there because I'm not sure I could have survived it without you. The other part of me wishes that you hadn't heard any of it." She pulled her hair back and ran her fingers through it slowly. "It's all true by the way, in case you were wondering."

I racked my brain, trying to remember the conversation with her ex. I honestly hadn't paid much attention to most of it. He had said something about her being a control freak and work-a-holic. Nothing new there.

"The man's an asshole, Bella. Don't listen to anything he says." I crossed the room to stand behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her back against my chest.

"I wish it were that easy, Edward. I really do. But he's right. I can't quit my job, as much as I want to. And I can't be the mother that I want to be because I have to spend all my time working." She sighed in frustration and leaned back against me. "I've tried to figure out a way, I just can't. There isn't one."

My heart broke for her. Most people thought that I had it made, being a doctor and everything. Well that and my parents are fairly well off. The thing was, I never took any of my parent's money. I had worked my way through college, complete with student loans that I finally paid off last year. I knew exactly what it was like to have to work every day and live paycheck to paycheck. Believe it or not, I was still there.

We stood there together, staring out the window and watching the rain fall, for at least an hour. I don't know why the thought suddenly hit me, but once it did I had to ask her. It seemed like the right time to do it.

"Is that what you were thinking about that day? On the cliffs?" I asked her quietly.

She tensed in my arms but didn't answer right away.

"Among other things."

I immediately wondered what other things she would have been thinking about.

"How long had you been up there?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"It wasn't a good day. I had a lot of shit to go through."

I thought back to that day. She was right. It hadn't been a good day at all. I had spent the day worried sick because she wouldn't answer my phone calls. I never did find out why she had been trying to get a hold of me the night before.

Was this the right time to ask her about it? It had already been an emotional day for her. I didn't want to put too much on her at once. At the same time, though, if we were already talking about that day, I should just go with it, right?

"Do you want to talk about it?" That was a nice, safe way to go.

"There isn't anything to talk about." She shrugged her shoulders again. It was easy to tell that she could very easily close up about the whole thing. I was treading on thin ice and I knew it.

"You tried calling me the night before." It wasn't a question. I was going easy, trying to get her to open up on her own.

She laughed. It was a dry, humorless laugh that sent a cold chill down my spine.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you."

She pulled away from me and turned around, her fierce eyes landed on mine and she glared at me.

"Stop right there, Edward. You don't have anything to be sorry for. I shouldn't have ever called you in the first place. I can handle things myself. I don't need you."

Ouch. That stung.

Wait a minute.

What can she handle herself?

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What happened?"

She rolled her eyes and huffed as she pushed past me.

"Nothing happened. Don't worry about it. I was just being girly and paranoid." She sat down on the bed and put her face in her hands.

"I know you Bella. You are not the girly paranoid type. And you never would have called me for help unless something was wrong."

I knelt down on the floor in front of her. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. I stared at her until she cracked under my gaze.

"Fine, I'll tell you! Oh my God you're annoying!" She ran her fingers through her hair, wincing slightly when she grazed her stitches. "One of my students kind of freaked me out. It wasn't a big deal. It was probably all in my head, you know?"

"No, I don't know. What was all in your head?" My hands had curled into fists at my side.

She rolled her eyes at me again, trying to blow it off.

"I thought one of my students was following me. Stupid, right?"

I didn't answer her. I just waited. It didn't take long before she huffed again.

"The parking lot was almost empty when I got to my car and then he was like, right behind me. I don't know where he came from. Then he got into the car parked in front of mine. I kept an eye on his car in the rearview mirror. He was behind me all the way to Alice's house."

Holy fuck.

"So anyway, I just didn't feel like being alone, you know? Don't worry about it though. Really. I'm not your girlfriend and I'm not your responsibility. I never should have called you in the first place."

Fuck. Me.

The one time she calls me for help, and I wasn't there for her. I am beyond asshole status. I might have blown the whole damn thing. Panic flooded my heart.

"Stop. I should have answered the damned phone. I want you to call me when shit like that happens. Promise me, Bella. Promise that if that guy creeps you out again you won't hesitate to call me." I stared her down, not letting her give in.

"Fine. Only if you promise that you'll answer the phone or call me right back." Her eyes narrowed as she met my stare.

"Absolutely."

She nodded in response and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

I cupped her face in my hands and pulled her towards me. My lips brushed against hers gently. Then again, not so gently. She wrapped her hands around my neck as I pressed my lips against hers. I kissed her deeply. She kissed me right back, holding me close and moaning softly into my mouth. When we pulled back, we were both panting for air.

Did she realize how much my world had changed since she had walked back into it? Did she know that I revolved around her now? She was my life. I just needed to find a way to let her know that without scaring her off.

Something told me that it wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews make me smile and encourage me to update faster. Just sayin... ;)<strong>


	14. Second Chance

**AN: So I know it's been awhile. Sorry for that. :o(  
>I still don't own Twilight. I just like playing with the characters. <strong>

****

**That Moment**

**Chapter 14 – Second Chance**

**BPOV**

I woke up Monday morning before my alarm went off. The bedroom was dark and quiet. The fan was humming gently overhead. Outside rain was falling, hitting the window pane with gentle pings. And beside me Edward was snoring. It was a soft, gentle snore, not a loud obnoxious snore. Thank God. His arm was wrapped around my waist securely holding me against him. I could feel his breath wash over my neck with every exhale. I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent and relaxing further into him. His arms tightened around me and he murmured something in his sleep.

Then his lips brushed against my temple ever so gently.

I closed my eyes as I released a deep, contented sigh. I wanted to wake up like this every morning. Lying in Edward's arms. There was truly no place else I would rather be.

How had it come to this so quickly? Three weeks ago Edward was still just a fantasy to me. A dream that kept me company while I slept. Now I wanted so much more than just a dream. I wanted to feel his hands on my body, his lips pressed against mine, his….yeah, well, you get the point. It was so much more than physical, though. In the last week he had barely even kissed me, and yet I still just wanted to be close to him. I could feel myself becoming dependent on him and it scared the shit out of me.

I am Isabella Swan, after all. I depend on no one but myself. That's the way it's always been. It's the way it has to be.

Does it have to be that way? Is it written somewhere that I have to do it all on my own? Could I trust in Edward enough to rely on him, to love him?

There was only one way to find out. I would have to let myself fall. The thought alone brought a tightness to my chest. What if I fell for him and he didn't feel the same way? It had happened before. What if he cheated on me like Mike had? I pictured walking into the bathroom and seeing him in the shower with another woman.

The pain that shot through my heart at the mere thought of it made me gasp in shock. My hand flew to my heart and I couldn't breath.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Edward's voice sounded close to panic as I struggled to breath.

He positioned our bodies so that I was looking into his eyes. In the dim light I could still see the concern etched across his face. He pushed the hair out of my face and whispered for me to breath, telling me it was just a bad dream. Bad dream hell, it was a freaking nightmare.

"Edward, promise me something." My hands clutched at his bare shoulders and I pulled his face to within inches of mine. "Promise me that you will never cheat on me."

Time seemed to stand still as he studied my eyes. He was probably thinking that I had no right to ask him that. We weren't even technically seeing each other, right? As the moment dragged on, I found myself regretting asking him, no, demanding that of him. It was stupid. I started to shake my head slowly and opened my mouth to speak, to tell him to forget it. I didn't get the chance.

"I promise you that I will never, ever cheat on you." His lips pressed down on mine forcefully, taking my breath away. My hands tangled in his hair and held him closer.

I couldn't help but think that I had my answer. Because in that moment, that heart wrenching moment when I imagined him cheating on me, I knew that I was already in to deep. I didn't have to let myself fall. My heart had already jumped off the cliff without my mind's permission.

When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. I could see a small smile playing against his lips.

"Be my girlfriend, Bella." His voice was rough and his eyes sparkled and he almost sounded like he was pleading with me. I ask you, how can I say no to that?

I nodded my head yes and he kissed me again. And again. And again. His lips had just started to trail down my neck when the alarm went off. I giggled as he groaned in frustration, knowing that any minute now Charlie would be up.

One final kiss, then we both rolled out of bed. I headed downstairs to start breakfast and Edward went to the bathroom for a shower. Probably a cold one.

I made pancakes, bacon and eggs for breakfast and we all sat down at the dining room table to eat. Charlie was in rare form. He had gotten up and dressed with hardly any argument at all. And since pancakes were his absolute favorites, he had sat down and ate everything on his plate. It was rare to have a meal where that happened.

Edward had to go to the office because Carlisle was overbooked on appointments again and needed his help, so he was going to drop Charlie off at school then go to work.

That left me the whole day to myself. I smiled at the thought. How often do I get 'free time'? Not very. Unfortunately, I was also stuck at Edward's house. Carlisle hadn't cleared me to drive yet, and I didn't have anything to do there. I needed to go to my house to pick up a few things.

My options were pretty limited, so I did the only thing I could think of. I called Alice. We don't get to spend much time together on a daily basis, usually just in passing as I drop Charlie off or pick him up in the evenings. And I hadn't talked to her at all since my little accident, so it would be nice to spend some girl time with her.

Alice ran an interior design business out of her home, so her schedule was very flexible. It took her about a half an hour to get to Edward's house. She gave me a hug as soon as she saw me and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was fine and she looked at me skeptically. Then her eyes relaxed and she smiled.

"You know, Bella. For once I actually believe you." I'm not sure what the hell that was supposed to mean, so I just rolled my eyes at her and laughed.

I had a few errands I needed to run, and she was more than willing to help me out. I had to go to the bank to transfer funds from my savings account to my checking account. Then I had to stop at the insurance company and pay my car insurance. After that I had to go to the drug store to pick up…um…feminine items. Oh, and Charlie's medication.

By the time we were finished with all of those, it was nearing lunchtime. We decided to go to Denali's and get some pizza. We sat down in a small booth by the window and watched the rain that was steadily pouring outside. My thoughts wandered back to this morning. As if she could tell what I was thinking, Alice decided on that moment to ask me what was going on between Edward and I.

I couldn't stop the smile that started to spread across my face. I mean, Edward was my boyfriend, officially, right?

"I knew it!" she giggled. "How long have you been seeing each other?"

"A few weeks I guess." I bit my bottom lip as I considered how much I should tell her.

She eyed me suspiciously, knowing with that sixth sense of hers that I wasn't telling the whole truth.

"A few weeks? And when, exactly, do you have time to date Edward Cullen?" Her eyes narrowed as she watched for my reaction.

"Edward and I have a certain…history. When we saw each other again it kind of rekindled all those old feelings and I guess we just picked up where we left off." I did not maintain eye contact as I was talking. In fact, I found the piece of pizza on plate extremely interesting and did not take my eyes off of it. Until I heard a distinct 'hmph' coming from the seat across from me. I looked up to see Alice glaring at me. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and her foot was tapping under the table.

"Explain 'history', Bella." It wasn't a question.

So I explained it to her. I told her about the party where we kissed for the first time. I told her how every time after that Edward assured me that it wouldn't change anything, we were still friends. I told her that I felt so much more than friendship towards him, but he was adamant about just being friends so I didn't push it. I didn't want to risk losing him. I told her that he was my first, well, everything. And I told her about graduation night, giving myself to him under the stars and then hearing him tell me that he didn't want to be friends anymore.

As my story went on, her hand rose to cover her mouth and I thought I could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh my God, Bella! That's just…" she couldn't finish her sentence. I had actually left Alice speechless. When the hell has that ever happened. "Wait a minute." She shook her head side to side as she tried to make sense of what she was remembering. Then she leaned across the table and whispered "Didn't he take Tanya to the prom?"

Ah, right. Leave it to Alice to remember prom night. Honestly, it was a night I had long since blocked from my memory.

I had no intentions of going to prom. I couldn't dance, I didn't really have any friends, and the one person I wanted to ask me never would. Not that anybody else asked me either for that matter. Alice, though, had insisted that I go to prom. It was a rite of passage and all that crap. So I had allowed her to dress me up in a blue frilly dress and low heels. I looked nice, I'll give her credit for that.

The theme for prom was 'Under the Sea'. The gymnasium was all decked out to look like it was under the water. Of course Alice had been on the decorating committee, so it looked great. I especially liked the nylon stick-ups of Flounder and Sebastian all over the restrooms.

Everyone looked great, especially Edward. I noticed from the seat at my table in the corner. The one that I sat in all night long, by myself. Alice attempted to get me to dance once, but I don't dance so I declined. Her and Jasper had spent the rest of the night dry-humping on the dance floor.

Edward spent the night hanging out with Emmett and Rose, and dancing with Tanya. She wore a strapless yellow skin tight hideous dress. It did not resemble a prom dress or anything formal, I can tell you that. Every time he touched her it made my skin crawl.

About halfway through the night he had scanned the room and found me. Our eyes met and he smiled, that glorious smile that made my heart melt. Then Tanya had grabbed his arm to pull him back out on the dance floor. He glanced at her then back to me once. Then he followed her and put his hands around her waist once more.

I had enough. I got up and left, walking home since I had ridden with Alice.

By the time I got home he was already there, waiting for me. He didn't say a word, he just opened my door and waited until I climbed in. He drove us to the middle of nowhere and pulled over along the side of the road.

"You look absolutely beautiful tonight Bella. Do you know how hard it was to see you like this and not be able to touch you?" We had stepped out of the car and listened as a slow song came on the radio. He put his hands around my waist and started swaying to the music. "Come on, Bella. Dance with me."

I found myself moving with him and when his lips started nibbling at my neck I melted into him. When his fingers slipped up the edge of my dress and darted across my bare skin, I moaned into him. And when he lifted me up on the hood of his car I gripped his hair and pulled his lips to mine.

His fingers found my hot, wet center and slipped easily inside. As soon as he made the contact I knew I wanted more. He didn't disappoint either. That was the first night that Edward went down on me. Right there on the side of the road, while I sat on the hood of his car. It was the first orgasm I had ever had, and it was the best feeling in the world.

I wanted to reciprocate, but he wouldn't let me. He told me that he had owed me for making me watch him dance with Tanya when he would have much rathered been dancing with me instead.

Alice cleared her throat and shocked me out of my little flashback. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks were flushed pink.

"That was a little bit too much information, Bella." She said with a little giggle. That's when my face burst into flames because I realized I hadn't just been thinking the whole prom story, I had actually just told her the whole thing.

"Sorry." I laughed as I hid my face in my hands. Apparently my brain filter hadn't started working yet.

We had finished eating so we paid for the pizza and left. Next stop was my house to pick up a few of my belongings. Namely, my laptop and a couple of books to read.

"We aren't hiding anything this time around, you know? I mean, he asked me to be his girlfriend this morning."

"You two belong together, Bella. It was just a matter of time before it happened." She grinned at me as she pulled the car into my driveway. I rolled my eyes at her before I got out of the car.

She followed me up the front steps, jabbering away about fate and destiny.

"You and Edward came here last week and got some clothes for me and Charlie, right?" I could tell something was wrong as I put the key in the lock. Something just didn't feel right.

"Yeah, but don't worry, we didn't rummage through your porn collection or anything."

I unlocked the door and stepped inside.

I froze right there in the doorway.

"Oh. My. God." I heard Alice whisper from behind me.

The house had been completely ransacked. There were clothes and broken picture frames and it looked like my couch had been gutted with a knife. There was spray painting on the walls and across the television.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was going to be sick.

Alice was already on the phone with the police. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door.

"Come on, Bella. We need to go." She was whispering and I could hear the operator telling her not to go in the house until the police came.

I stumbled off the porch and in to the front yard. My hands reached for my back pocket, where I always carried my cell phone. But my pocket was empty. I hadn't replaced my phone yet. Fuck.

I heard sirens coming towards me and I looked up to see both of Forks' police cruisers pull up in front of my house. My dad climbed out of one, Jacob climbed out of the other.

"Bells! You okay?" My dad came over and put both hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. I slowly shook my head no.

I watched as Jacob walked up the front steps and pushed the door open slowly. He let out a low whistle as he unsnapped his firearm. The Chief followed him to the door and shook his head angrily. They both drew their firearms before stepping through the front door.

I could hear Alice behind me on the phone.

"You need to get to Bella's house. Right. Fucking. Now!"

I was leaning against the car, watching Jake and the Chief make their way through what was left oh my house. Alice put her arm around my waist and leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Edward and Jasper and Emmett are all on their way here." She squeezed me gently and I nodded in acknowledgment.

I heard a car skidding to a stop behind me. I jumped and turned quickly to see Edward jumping out of his car. He was still wearing his white doctor's lab coat. He left the door on his car open, not even taking the time to close it before running to me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Are you okay?" He nearly growled into my ear. I shook my head again, because really, would you be okay if you walked into your house and found it completely destroyed?

Emmett and Jasper showed up a few minutes later. We all stood on the front lawn, waiting for the Chief to give the okay to go inside.

It wasn't much longer before the entire police station was camped out on my front lawn. They took pictures. They dusted for fingerprints. They took a statement from me and from Alice. They questioned the neighbors. They made me go in and see if anything obvious was missing.

I gripped Edward's hand and stepped slowly through the door. It was awful. Almost everything I owned was destroyed. Everything had been broken, torn and spray painted. Words like 'slut' and 'bitch' were painted on the walls. My jewelry box was missing, but that seemed to be the only obvious thing I could find. Charlie's room was virtually untouched.

My laptop, by some miracle, had survived the massacre. I had taken to hiding it behind the couch so Charlie wouldn't get on the internet without my permission. Luckily, it was still snuggled between the couch and the wall. The Chief wanted someone to check it out, to make sure it hadn't been tampered with, so they took it down to the police station.

I gathered up my photo albums and scrap-booking stuff, which was mostly untouched, and Edward took them to the car for me. When he came back in, I was still staring at the disaster that used to be my house. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close.

"What am I supposed to do now, Edward? Where am I supposed to go?"

"You're supposed to go home with me now, Bella. You're supposed to let me take care of you. You and Charlie."

I had to wonder what he meant by that. He had offered his house to us for the week. That week would be up in three days. Where would I go then? Was he asking me to move in with him permanently or just until I could get this place cleaned back up. Not that it mattered. I would never be able to sleep in this house again. I would have to move any way it went.

"You wouldn't mind if we stayed with you? Just until I could find somewhere else, of course."

His arms tightened around my waist and I could feel his eyes scrunching together before he leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"I wouldn't mind if you stayed with me forever." He moved my hair out of his way and leaned down to kiss my neck gently.

"I wouldn't mind that myself." I admitted to him as I turned in his arms. His lips met mine gently, slowly, carefully. We didn't let ourselves get carried away in the kiss. To many prying eyes were still hanging around, though we were alone for the moment.

We managed to pack a few more things that were salvageable before we left the house. As we left, yellow police tape was tacked up to the door and windows. There would still be an investigation to try to figure out who the fuck had destroyed my shit.

Alice and Jasper had left long ago to pick Charlie up from school. Emmett was just as pissed as Edward had been when he saw the house. He pulled me into a bear hug and whispered in my ear a reminder that if I ever needed him he'd have my back. Emmett had become like a big brother to me in the last few weeks. He would probably never know how much it meant just to know he cared. Or any of them for that matter. I had gone through most of my life knowing that nobody really cared.

As we pulled away from the house and headed back to Edward's, a thought crossed my mind that made me laugh to myself. This morning we had agreed to go from friends-with-benefits to boyfriend/girlfriend. Now we had gone from boyfriend/girlfriend to living together.

At this rate we would be married by the end of the week. So much for no relationships, right? 

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><p><strong>Any thoughts? Ideas? Criticisms? <strong>**Let me know what you think, whether you like it or hate it.**

**Thanks!  
>mezy<br>**


	15. Revelations

**AN: I know it's been a while. These guys haven't been talking to me much lately. :(  
>I have started a new fic called Under Cover. If you haven't read it yet please check it out and let me know what you think.<strong>

**Usual thanks to Jes and Jenny. Also thanks to those of you reading that haven't given up on me yet. Many aspects of Bella are based on my life, especially Charlie. He is basically my son.**

  
><strong>That Moment<strong>

**Chapter 15 – Revelations**

**BPOV**

Wednesday morning I had my appointment with Carlisle. He said everything looked good and I could go back to work on Monday. Just the thought of going back to work made my skin crawl. There was a time when I couldn't have waited to go back. I would have been worried that things were falling apart without me there.

I can honestly say though, I haven't thought about work. Not once have I wondered if my packaging made it in on time or if we got that one order done that was a hot rush before I left. It hadn't crossed my mind. It truly is odd for me. For the longest time my work has been my life. I'm starting to realize, though, that there is so much more to life than just work. I guess a near death experience really does make you rethink everything.

Wednesday night I taught my classes. Teaching. That's a job that I truly enjoy. I love getting to know my students. I love being able to teach them mathematics. I know. I'm weird. But it's who I am.

Thursday Edward was at work and Charlie was at school. I had the house to myself. I decided to make something nice for dinner. Lasagna. Yeah, that sounded really good. While I mixed the sauce and the cheese and started layering it all together, I let my mind wander. I started thinking to myself, what if? What if I didn't go back to work on Monday?

I'm living with Edward now. I don't have to worry about a house payment or utilities. I make enough teaching for the other incidental expenses. This could be my life. Fixing a nice dinner every night for my family. Keeping up with the house cleaning and laundry. Hell, I might even be able to finally write that story I've had rolling around in my head forever.

It sounded great, but I was forgetting something. Something really important.

Charlie.

If I haven't mentioned it before, Charlie was born with a very common 'birth defect'. I hate that term, but it is what it is. He was born with a unilateral cleft lip and pallet.

It's amazing what doctors can do these days. Today, only seven surgeries later, you can barely even tell it was there. It was there, though, and his surgeries are not over yet. In almost four weeks he'll have one more. It's not one I'm looking forward to either. It's the bone graft surgery. They will take a bone out of his hip and place it in his gum line where the cleft is.

It's going to be a nightmare.

He's not allowed to run, jump or play for six to eight weeks. No recess. No gym. Minimum activity are the exact words they used. Yeah, right. Have you met my son? Seriously? My severely ADHD son that doesn't even hold still when he sleeps?

I asked the doctor if they would be sending home bed straps and sedatives.

He laughed.

I wasn't joking.

Anyway, back to my point. Surgeries are expensive. I mean granted, my insurance plan sucks ass and I'll be paying off this surgery for the next two years anyway, but surely sucky insurance is better than no insurance. Right?

I could get through another month. I almost had to.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the garage door open. Charlie came zooming across the room and threw his arms around me, squeezing me tight.

"Hey buddy. How was school today?" I squeezed him back and smiled at Edward as he walked in the room.

"It was horrible." He whined with the best of them. "I hate school. Can I play Wii now?" He went to the fridge and got out the carton of orange juice.

"Do you have homework?"

"Nope." He didn't look at me when he answered. Dead giveaway.

"Do your homework, then you can play some video games." I laughed to myself as he grumbled and groaned.

"Shouldn't you still be in bed? I thought you were sick? Edward let me play video games all the time when you were hurt."

Poor Edward. His eyes popped open and his ears turned beet red.

"Yeah, well Edward doesn't know all your tricks yet and I do." I winked at Edward to let him know it was alright. There were days when I didn't feel like arguing with Charlie. Those days I gave in and let him play his games. I know. I'm a bad mom. Get over it already.

"I also know you have a social studies project due Monday and you'll be at your dad's house all weekend, so it needs to be done tonight."

"Awhwhwh..." He screeched to himself, grabbed his book bag and stomped into the dining room, mumbling under his breath the whole way about how horrible his life is and how mean his mom is. Doesn't life just suck when you're ten years old? Yeah. It doesn't get a hell of a lot better.

Edward stared after him in disbelief. Had he never witnessed a Charlie-tantrum before? Huh. This had been a mild one.

"It's the ODD. You get used to it." I shrugged my shoulders like it was no big deal. Honestly, I was dealing with it better today than normal. I think it's the lack of stress in my life right now. I took a deep breath and steadied myself.

Because suddenly I knew.

I knew and the realization nearly made my legs buckle. I knew that this is what I needed. What Charlie needed. What we needed to be a family again.

I needed this stress free existence. I needed to be happy with my life again.

"You okay?" Edward had crossed the room and put his hands on my shoulder to steady me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Still a little bit dizzy I guess." I'm not sure if he believed me, but he didn't press the matter. Instead his eyes wandered to the counter top where the lasagna was almost finished. I was just getting ready to add the last layer of ricotta, noodles, sauce and mozzarella cheese.

"That looks great. When can we eat." I had to laugh at him. I swear he was ready to grab a fork and a plate right then.

"It'll be a little while yet. Around six o'clock." I pushed him out of the kitchen. "Go help Charlie with his report. Make sure he isn't getting sidetracked."

Two hours later Charlies homework was finished and we were sitting down at the dining room table to eat. Of course Charlie gave his customary "I hate lasagna" fight, but again I let it blow right over me. He still refused to eat until I forced him to, though. Some things don't change.

After dinner he had about an hour to play before bath and bedtime. When I tucked him in he gave me a big hug and kiss.

"I'm glad you feel better Mom."

I hugged him back and never wanted to let go. Despite his various quarks, he could still be so sweet to his mom.

Once he was settled, which takes a good twenty minutes, trust, I went downstairs to find Edward. He was in the library checking his email and facebook. Huh. I hadn't looked at mine in over a week now. Hadn't even thought about it really.

"Hey. What's up?" I was chewing on my lip nervously so I guess he knew I had something on my mind. As soon as his eyes met mine, though, my mind went completely blank. It was like a fire ignited between us. In that moment, as we stared at each other across the room, I felt like he understood my deepest desires. More than that. He shared them with me.

Want.

Need.

Desire.

He rose from the chair and crossed the room slowly. Then he was right there in front of me. I hated how slowly he was moving. The anticipation of his touch was driving me crazy. Maintaining eye contact with him, I lifted the hem of my shirt up and over my head, letting it fall to the floor behind me.

The crazy thing was as I stood in front of him I felt a strange sense of deja vu. I shook it off as soon as I felt his hands brushing gently against my skin. Why was he being so gentle? I could see the desire in his eyes. Why was he holding back? He should be bending me over his desk by now.

I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra, letting it fall forward off my shoulders and to the floor.

"You're feeling better?" His voice was deep, rough. He swallowed audibly. Leave it to Edward to hold back because he didn't think I was feeling up to it.

"Much better." I smiled at him as I unbuttoned my pants and let them fall to the floor as well.

I swear I heard him growl as I stepped back and kicked my discarded clothing out of the way. He pulled me against his body as his lips crashed into mine. Every time Edward kissed me it was like the first time. Simply fucking amazing.

His arms wrapped around me and lifted me in the air. He carried me to the desk and sat me down. I already liked where he was going with this. The thought of it sent a fresh wave of heat through my body.

"Oh God Edward." His mouth was wrapped around my left nipple and his long fingers were teasing my entrance. I dipped my head down so I could whisper in his ear. "I've always wanted to be fucked hard on your desk, baby."

He bit down on my nipple and he thrust two fingers deep inside me, giving me just the right amount of pleasure and pain. His mouth covered mine and swallowed my screams of pleasure.

Through my orgasmic haze I didn't notice Edward taking his pants off, but next thing I knew he was pressed against my entrance, waiting for me to come down enough to focus on him.

"What did you want me to do Bella? Remind me." His mouth turned up in that crooked grin of his. Edward liked dirty talk.

"I want you to fuck me Edward. On your desk. Now." There it was. That flash of carnal desire in his eyes right before he slammed into me.

Every thrust was deeper. Every thrust ignited the need deep inside of me. The need for more. So much more. I would never get enough of him.

Suddenly he stopped and his mouth captured mine as I whined in disappointment.

"Is that what you've always wanted baby? To be fucked like that?"

Well, duh.

"Yes, Edward. That was perfect. Now. Don't. Stop!" He kissed me again, deeper this time, harder. I loved it.

He pulled away, lifted me from the desk and set me on my feet. Then he turned me around and pushed down on my shoulders. Now I was leaning over the desk with my ass sticking out.

He pushed into my core slowly, rhythmically pushing in and pulling out. His fingers skimmed across my skin, my breasts, my back. I could feel the pressure building again. I needed more.

"Do you know how many times I've pictured you like this? Naked, bent over my desk while I fuck you?" His breath was hot against the back of my neck.

"Please Edward. Oh God Edward. Fuck me hard." I knew what he wanted hear. As soon as the words left my mouth he gave me what I needed.

What I needed right then was to feel how much he wanted to be with me. He showed me with every thrust, every touch, every kiss he placed on my shoulders and my back. When he came he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly, breathing deeply into the crook of me neck. Then we collapsed on the couch together in a heap of arms and legs.

"Holy fuck, Bella. It seems we share the same fantasies." I chuckled along with him. So it would seem. His words made a memory click into place and I realized why I had that brief moment of deja vu earlier.

"I've been dreaming about that for years. You. Me. This room. That desk." Suddenly that seemed a little odd to me even though I knew how true it was. It was one of my favorite Dream Edward dreams.

"It's kind of weird, now that I think about it. I'd never seen this room till last week, but I swear it's the same one from my dreams." My filter was turned off at the moment. I should have shut my mouth a long time ago. Now Edward was looking at me like I had two heads or something. What? It's just a dream. Right?

We gathered our clothing and went upstairs to bed. Friday would be a long day and we needed the rest. Okay, I needed the rest. I was suddenly very exhausted.

"What were you going to ask me earlier? You know, before we got distracted?"

I smiled to myself as I curled up against his side in the darkened bedroom. What a distraction it was, too.

"I'm not sure how to ask you this, so I'm just going to put it out there. I want you to think about it good and long before giving me your answer, okay?" The nervousness was back. I couldn't help how my voice shook just a little when I talked.

"You're kind of scaring me here, Bella. What is it?"

I wasn't sure if I could ask him or not. Despite the fuck-hot sex we just shared, in a lot of ways Edward and I were still getting to know each other. I rolled over so that I was face to face with him and took a deep breath.

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, Edward. Things that I would go back and change if I could. Obviously that's not an option. All we can change is the future, right?"

I was fidgeting now, my fingers pulling against each other and my breathing was shallow. Maybe I shouldn't do this at all. It was to soon. Much to soon. I didn't have any idea what he would say or what he would think.

That's the whole point in asking, right? Right. Another deep breath.

"Here's the thing. I don't have the power to change my future on my own. And sometimes you just have to ask for help. Right?"

Trust me, it killed me to ask for help, from anyone.

I did need help though, and Edward was in a position to give me the help I needed. If he agreed to it. If it wasn't to much to ask. Which it probably was.

"Bella, baby, stop over-thinking it. What can I help you with? Just tell me." He wrapped his arms around me and ran his hands up and down my spine soothingly. I found myself relaxing into him despite my anxiety.

"I want to quit my job." This was not new information. He knew already my desire to quit, so I wasn't surprised when he shrugged his shoulders at me.

"So quit."

I let out a deep sigh as I realized I would have to spell this out for him. He couldn't just figure it out on his own? Really?

"I don't think you understand what I'm asking for here, Edward." A hint of exasperation leaked into my voice. I couldn't help it.

"If I do this, I won't have the money to help you with the house payment or utilities. I barely make enough teaching to pay my student loans and buy groceries for the month."

"I don't expect you to help me pay my house payment, Bella. Or my utilities. I have those expenses whether you're here or not." I could hear the confusion in his voice. I wished I could see his eyes so I would know what he was thinking. In the darkened room, though, I cold barely make out his form lying beside me. I shook my head in frustration. He still didn't get it.

"I am basically asking you to keep me and my son. Do you realize that? To keep us, with nothing in return. Are you really okay with that?"

He reached over and turned on the nightlight, sending a soft glow across the room. His hands found my face in the dim light. His fingertips traced over my skin, gently pushing any stray hair off of my face before he leaned closer and placed his forehead against mine.

"What you are asking of me is to take care of you, Bella. To take care of you and your son. And don't think for one minute that I'm not getting anything out of it. A month ago I was utterly alone, existing from day to day. Because of you I'm not just living, I am alive. Don't you see that?"

His words made my heart stop. It was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. I couldn't put my emotions into words at that point. It felt a lot like the dreaded "L" word. So instead I tried to show him my feelings. I captured his lips with mine and poured every bit of emotion I could into that kiss. Our mouths moved together as our hands clung to one another, afraid to let go, afraid to let any distance at all separate our bodies.

When we finally pulled back, gasping for air, I felt like we had just connected on a whole new level.

"I want to take care of you Bella. You and Charlie. I want to be everything you need."

He kissed me again, taking my breath away yet again.

"What about you Edward? What do you need? What do you want?"

He stared deep into my eyes, into my soul.

"I want you to marry me, Bella." 

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><p><strong>AN: Ack! Review please!<strong>


	16. Because I'm a Dreamer

**AN: I know, it's been like forever. Two more weeks and Spring Quarter will be over, then I'll have a little bit of free time to write. I hope. Stick with me. I haven't given up on either of my stories yet.**

**That**** Moment**

**Chapter 16 – Because I'm a Dreamer**

**BPOV**

This could not be happening to me. Not really.

How many times had I dreamed of this moment? To many.

That was it. I'm dreaming. That had to be it.

I was exhausted when we laid down. I must have drifted off while we were talking and now Dream Edward was sweeping me off my feet again.

It was the only plausible explanation.

I knew that I could never agree to marry Edward in real life. Okay, maybe not 'never', but certainly not after only being with him for two weeks!

But then that means that I would consider marrying him at some point in time, right? This had to be my subconscious' way of telling myself that I wanted a long term relationship with him. Apparently I wanted a very long term relationship all of a sudden.

I opened my eyes and stared into the green orbs above me. He was watching me patiently with hope and excitement dancing across his face. Someday I would say yes to this man in real life.

If he ever actually asked me.

Which he probably never would.

For tonight, though, I would say yes to the dream and allow myself the joy of the moment. My lips pulled up into a smile as I whispered the one word he was longing to hear.

"Yes..."

The smile that covered his face made me smile wider in return. To be the one that made him that happy with a single word was beyond amazing.

His mouth covered mine as he kissed me. The force of his kiss, physically and emotionally, took my breath away. I felt a need to surrender to him completely, no holds barred. I needed every piece of him in return and he didn't disappoint. When I finally pulled away from his kiss, gasping for air, his lips continued to move against me. Across my jaw, down my neck, over my collarbone.

My body practically hummed as he kissed every inch of skin from my shoulders to my toes and back up again. While he was kissing,licking and sucking at my skin, his fingers were roaming my body, causing electric tingles to course through my body. I couldn't remember ever feeling so desired, so alive. When his lips finally returned to mine, I tangled my hands in his hair and pulled him close as I savored the taste of him, the feel of him.

Rationally I knew this was still a dream. An extremely intense, highly erotic dream, but still. I couldn't stop the little voice in my head, though. The one that was telling me that Edward was mine now. That I was his. That he wanted me. That he had chosen me. Forever.

"Bella, baby, say it one more time." He practically growled into my ear as he lined himself up against my slick entrance. My brain was obviously not working anymore because I couldn't remember saying anything at all. He seemed to understand that I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say.

"Say that you'll be my wife, Bella."

That's when the little voice in my head started cheering, completely drowning out the rational thoughts rambling around in my brain.

"Yes, Edward. I choose you. Forever." His eyes flashed as he surged forward, filling me completely.

I felt like I was falling, and I didn't care. I don't know how long our bodies moved against each other. I only know that I could not get enough of him. The longer he moved inside me, the more intense the pressure built, waiting for a release. I didn't hold back. I let it come. I let it wash over me and I clung to Edward as I fell off the precipice. My fingernails dug into his shoulders. His head was nestled into the crook of my neck and as my fingernails scratched across his flesh I felt him bite down on my shoulder. It was that extra jolt of pain that sent me tumbling over the edge once and for all. Edward's rhythm faltered as he came right after me.

He collapsed on the bed next to me, sweating and panting for air. His arms curled around my waist and pulled me close

"Damn, Bella. Remind me to propose to you more often." He chuckled quietly.

I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off. The last thing I remembered was thinking 'what a strange and wonderful dream'. And so unfair that the best sex of my life never actually happened.

The next thing I knew my alarm was blaring obnoxiously in my ear. My head was pounding and Edward was practically lying on top of me, making it impossible to turn the offending alarm off. I tapped on his shoulder with my free hand. He didn't move.

The alarm was getting increasingly louder, therefore more and more annoying. I'm awake, dammit! Shut the hell up already!

Finally in my irritation I was able to shove him off of me. I slammed my hand down on the snooze button and rolled my ass out of bed.

Why did it feel like I only slept a couple of hours? Could it really be six o'clock already? Ugh.

I stumbled my way through the darkened bedroom to the bathroom and immediately turned on the shower. Good lord, my whole body was sore. Maybe I was coming down with something? As I let the hot water wash over my body, I closed my eyes and forced my muscles to relax. Unbidden images flashed through my mind.

Edward.

God, that dream had felt so real. I replayed the high points in my mind as I took my shower. I wondered if I would ever be able to let myself go like I did in my dream. It would be amazing if I could.

The bathroom was filled with steam as I towel dried my hair. I heard Edward knock on the door just as I was wrapping my towel around my chest.

"You don't have to cover up in front of me, Bella. I thought we were past all that." I rolled my eyes at him and stepped back so he could get to the shower. As he brushed by me, something caught my eye.

"Edward! You're bleeding!" On his shoulder there were three distinct scratches. The middle scratch was deep enough that it had dried blood from one end to the other. I reached up and ran my fingers over the marks.

A flash of memory from my dream hit me like a ton of bricks and I stumbled backwards, my hand flying to my heart. I scratched him. In my dream. I distinctly remember that I scratched him. And then he bit me.

I turned around quickly and wiped the remaining steam off the mirror. There, on my neck, was an oval shaped bruise.

Proof.

Flesh and blood proof.

I hadn't been dreaming.

It was real.

It was all real.

Oh my fucking...

What the hell did I do?

"_I want you to marry me, Bella."_

"_Say you'll be my wife."_

"_Yes, Edward. I choose you. Forever."_

I couldn't breathe.

The floor fell out from under me as my vision went completely black.

**EPOV**

I woke up to the sound of the alarm blaring in my ear. I reached over blindly and kept pushing buttons until it stopped. I reached for Bella only to find her side of the bed empty. It was still slightly warm, though. She hadn't been up for long. I heard the water running in the bathroom. I could picture her only to easily. Naked, covered in soap, with steamy water beating down on her body.

I couldn't stop the grin that broke across my face. Mine. After last night she was mine.

When those words had slipped out I was as shocked to hear them as she was. I didn't miss the look of complete and utter panic that flashed though her eyes. I almost expected her to tell me I was crazy, that there was no way in hell she would marry me. I never expected her to say yes.

It wasn't the ideal proposal. I had planned my perfect proposal for years. I had the location and the music picked out. I even had the words I would say memorized. I had the ring too; it had belonged to my Grandmother. I had everything but the girl. Now it seemed I had that, too. Maybe I should do it right. Everything from asking her father's permission to getting down on one knee.

Here's the thing, though. The proposal wasn't ideal. It wasn't planned out in advance. There was no wine or roses or candlelight. . There was just me ad Bella. It was spontaneous and perfect. Making love to her afterward was just the icing on the cake.

The alarm started blaring again, startling me from my musings. The water in the bathroom was no longer running. I knew I had to get up and moving. Friday morning, we had to leave the house by seven thirty if we had any hope of making it to Seattle in time for Charlie's doctor appointment at Children's Hospital. Bella was still feeling slightly off from her concussion and I didn't want her driving all that way, so I volunteered to drive. After the appointment we would be dropping Charlie off at his Dad's and driving back home. It was going to be a very long day.

I knocked on the bathroom door and Bella opened it wearing only a towel. I made some comment about her covering herself in front of me She rolled her eyes and stepped out of the way. I brushed past her, but she stopped me.

"Edward! You're bleeding!" She pointed to my shoulder and ran her fingertips across the scratches. I glanced down at them and was about to make a joke about her getting her claws into me when I realized she had gone as pale as a ghost. The look on her face was somewhere between shocked and terrified. She spun away from me quickly.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I took a step closer and realized she was gasping for air. I just barely caught her before she crumpled to the floor.

What the fuck?

I picked her up easily and carried her to the bedroom. As I laid her down on the covers, her eyes began to flutter open. I watched her quietly until her eyes focused on mine.

"What happened?" She asked groggily. She was taking deep breaths.

"I'm not really sure. I think you fainted." I watched her carefully. Actually, I knew she had fainted, I just wasn't sure if it was a side effect of the concussion or if it was something else altogether. Her eyes darted to my shoulder then back to my eyes.

"Oh God. Edward, babe, please go shower and wash that off." She covered her eyes with her hands and refused to look at me again. "I don't do well with the sight of blood."

It took me a minute to understand what she was saying. When realization dawned, I had to bite back my laugh.

"Bella, it's a scratch."

"I don't care. Go wash it off."

"It's not even bleeding anymore."

"I know. It's completely moronic. I just...I can't." She sounded sad, defeated, so I decided I wouldn't give her a hard time about it right now.

"It's okay, you know. A lot of people have an aversion to blood." I leaned down and kissed her forehead. I wasn't completely buying her story, but I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt. For now.

I would also be keeping a close eye on her today. I'm not sure why, but I got the distinct impression that she wasn't telling me the whole truth.

A half an hour later we were in the car and leaving for Seattle. Charlie was playing a video game in the back seat. Bella was staring out the window, and I was wondering why she seemed so distant today. She had gotten dressed almost in a daze. She hadn't looked or spoken to me once since the blood incident. Maybe she was embarrassed by it? Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. We were taking Charlie to see his plastic surgeon, maybe she was nervous about that? Or it could have been because we had to then take Charlie to his dad (hereafter referred to as The Asshole) and he would undoubtedly question why I was with them.

Or could it have been something else entirely?

Whatever it was, it was leaving a gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach that only got worse with every minute of silence. 

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What do you thing? BTW, I really do pass out like that at the sight of blood. Even if it's dry blood. This is why I could never be a nurse. LOL<br>**


	17. Author's Note

**A/N: I hate when author's post an author's note as a chapter. Then you get all excited for a new chapter, only to find it's pointless rambling from the author. Yeah, well, sorry! I felt the need to put this out there for all my loyal readers. You all don't like to review, but I know you're reading b/c I can see the hits.**

**Anyway, I wanted to let you guys know that I will probably not be posting any updates for a while. I know, shocking, considering I'm not the most reliable poster anyway. This is way different though. This is far more than writer's block.**

**Six weeks ago my mom started having trouble remembering things. The doctor's attributed it to her overactive thyroid and the medication she was on. Two weeks ago they realized that her 'confusion' was actually short-term memory loss. A CT scan showed a brain tumor deep in the right side of the brain. Last week they did a biopsy to determine if it was cancerous, and if so, what type of cancer. During the biopsy she developed a bleed. They abandoned the biopsy and did a craniotomy to relieve the pressure. She is finally out of ICU, but is still having issues with motor function due to the hematoba. She will need intensive physical therapy just to walk again.**

**The doctors believe the tumor is a stage 4 glioblastoma, which is a very aggressive brain tumor. With aggressive treatment, they think she could have 12 - 16 months. **

**This has come as quite a shock to me as my mom is an integral part of my life. **

**So I hope you can understand, dear readers, when I say that I will not be able to write any time soon. Between spending every free minute I have driving back and forth to the hospital, and seriously not being in the right mood to write romance, I think I'm going to have to just hit pause for the time being. **

**P&PT for mom is greatly appreciated. **

**Sincerely,  
>Mary Ellen, aka mezy<strong>


	18. The Note

**AN:**** Hey everyone! First I need to say, thank you for all the prayers and support that I received during my Mom's illness. Unfortunately we lost her last September to the stage 4 glioblastoma brain cancer. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. ******

**So after a long break away from writing, I am finally back in the right mindset to get back to it. I will be finishing That Moment before I work on finishing Under Cover. My goal is to have That Moment finished by the end of this year. I will try to post a chapter every weekend until it's finished.**

**Thank you again for sticking with me. I'm sorry for being MIA for so long. ******

**That Moment**

**Chapter 17 – The Note**

**BPOV**

I didn't say a word all the way to Seattle. Charlie jabbered on, and Edward listened to the radio and kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Personally, though, I was lost in my own little world.

Edward had asked me to marry him.

I had said yes.

I had convinced myself that it was a dream. I had told myself that it was a dream. Because I had known that Edward would never propose to me. I had also known that I would never accept the proposal. I had taken myself out of the game, remember? This was supposed to just be sex.

Sex.

That's it.

Now we're engaged?

What the hell am I supposed to tell Charlie? And the Chief? And Edward's parents?

Oh God. Esme hates me. She'll never accept me as a daughter-in-law. I've never been good enough to even associate with her son, much less marry him!

I groaned to myself and threw my head back against the seat. Edward was just pulling the car up to the Children's Hospital parking garage and he gave me a funny look before rolling his window down and taking the ticket from the gate.

I shook my head slightly to myself and knew I had to pull myself together. This wasn't going to be an easy appointment and I had to have my head in the game.

Charlie looked up from his game as we pulled into the parking garage.

"Do I get to play in the playroom?" He asked excitedly. I smirked to myself and shook my head.

"Not today Buddy. Next time though, okay?"

The playroom, in Charlie's opinion, was the best part of the hospital. Unfortunately for him, though, it was only open to the kids that had to stay the night in the hospital. So anytime we had to come just for a doctor appointment, he wasn't able to play and he would be disappointed.

We made our way through the halls of the hospital, finding the correct set of elevators and riding them to the fourth floor. The doctor's office was to the left. There were several fairly uncomfortable chairs, a few toys scattered around, some children's books lying here and there, and a television playing Mickey's Clubhouse.

Ugh. None of the kids in the waiting room were younger than eight years old. Mickey's Clubhouse? Really?

I signed Charlie in and sat next to Edward. He was still giving me strange looks but wasn't saying anything to me at all.

"What?" I finally asked him.

He raised his brow and smirked at me.

"Hey, you can talk." He had a bit of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and it was so adorable.

"Of course I can talk." I rolled my eyes at him and wondered once again what the hell his problem was.

"It's just that you haven't said a word since we left the house this morning." He was still trying not to smile, but looking almost apprehensive at the same time. He was trying to figure out what was wrong, that much was obvious.

His words sparked a memory for me though, and I couldn't help but smile when I retorted. "You haven't said a word to me either, but I didn't assume you were mute."

He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder, remembering our first exchange on that camping trip so many years ago. I relaxed into his shoulder and watched Charlie play while my mind refused to stop going round and round in circles.

It was a good twenty minutes later before they called Charlie's name. The appointment went about as well as could be expected. Charlie's plastic surgeon is absolutely brilliant at what he does, but he has no bedside manner at all.

This surgery will be his eighth, but in one major way it will be his first. This will be the first surgery that he will be well aware of ahead of time. He understands now what is going on and why it is important for him to have this surgery. Okay, maybe he doesn't understand. Not really. But he's being very brave about it all.

The biggest problem he is having with it is that when they fill in the hole in his gum line, they are also going to cover up the small hole that still exists between his mouth and his nose. In covering up this hole, he's going to lose his ability to whistle through his nose. And you should know, to a ten year old that is a huge loss. We're talking catastrophic consequences.

He showed his plastic surgeon that he could whistle like that. The poor man got a look of horror across his face and told Charlie that he had to stop doing that immediately. He then stressed to me that if he tries to do that after the surgery it will rip the stitches out and they would have to do it all over again. No thank you, not something I want to do. Charlie was heartbroken.

When we left the doctor's office Charlie insisted that we eat at the hospital cafeteria. I could see Edward cringe, but he didn't put up a fight as Charlie led the way. It was horribly overpriced and crowded, but usually on hospital days I let Charlie have free reign. If it makes him happy to eat a pizza that we could have gotten for five dollars less down the road, so be it.

About an hour later we had finished eating and were making our way to my ex-in-laws place. I was hoping for a quick in-and-out, and for once we got lucky. Mike Sr. was working in the garage when we pulled up. Charlie got his bag out of the car and ran to the garage.

"Grandpa! Are we going to the movies tonight?"

My ex-father-in-law stopped what he was doing immediately and gave Charlie a hug.

"I think we can probably do that. How was school this week?" He was talking to Charlie, but his eyes were on me, and the man standing behind me. I didn't realize Edward had gotten out of the car, but I could feel him standing behind me.

"Who's your friend, Charlie?" Again, he was looking at me, not my son. Charlie decided to answer anyway.

"That's Edward. He's mom's boyfriend."

My eyes widened and I heard Edward chuckle behind me. I knew I couldn't keep anything from that kid.

"Is he now?" Mike Sr. was looking at me with calculating eyes. Who knows what was going on behind those thick glasses of his? He was one of those people that always knew everything. Even if he didn't, he thought he did.

"Yep. And guess what? His house is huge! And I have my own room with racetracks and everything. And there's a big backyard. And Edward is going to teach me how to play soccer better because, you know, I like to play but I don't think I'm really that good at it. But Edward played soccer in school so he knows what he's doing."

"So you and your Mom are living at Edward's house then?" Again his cool gaze stayed on me. I refused to flinch under his glare. Let him judge me. I really don't give a shit.

"Just until Mom feels better." Charlie shrugged his shoulders and started wandering around the garage, obviously getting bored with the conversation. "She fell and hit her head and me and Edward have been taking care of her. Haven't we?" He looked up at me with big eyes and a wide smile and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You have been a huge help, Buddy. Now give me a hug so we can go home and I'll see you Sunday, okay?"

I gave him a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before Edward and I left.

* * *

><p>During the drive home I cranked up the radio and sang along as I stared out the window and watched the forest fly by. My mind was still torn about the events of last night. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Marry Edward? Or tell him that it was a mistake? Or maybe I could just talk him into a long engagement. Like a really, really long engagement. Like one that would last the rest of our lifetimes. That would be good, right?<p>

"If you think any harder over there steam is going to start pouring out your ears. What the hell is with you today?"

I glanced over to see Edward eying me carefully.

"Complete honesty, right?" I muttered more to myself than to him. We had promised each other complete honesty and right now I wasn't being very honest with him; or with myself for that matter. Then again, if it helped, I wasn't sure what the complete honest thing was in this case.

"Right, so spit it out, Swan." His eyes had narrowed and I watched as he slowed the car down and turned onto a side road. He pulled a little ways off the highway before putting the car in park and turning in his seat to face me.

"So what the hell is wrong with you?" His hand found mine and gripped it tightly.

I took a deep breath, stealing myself in case I didn't get the answer I was looking for. Or in case I got the answer I thought I would get. Honestly, I didn't know which one was which. Or if they were the same thing. Basically I was just preparing myself for whatever response I would get in return.

"Do you really want to marry me?" Ready or not, the words were out there. I held my breath and watched as his eyes widened. I could see the wheels turning in his head. He didn't over think things quite as much as I did, but that didn't mean that he couldn't over think things.

"It's a simple yes or no question, Cullen." I watched with baited breath as he licked his lips.

"Yes." The word was barely a whisper as it passed through his lips.

I'm not sure what I expected myself to do when he confirmed my suspicion. I probably didn't expect myself to jump out of the car as fast as I did any more than he did. A few seconds later, though, and I found myself pacing back and forth on the old gravel lane beside the car. He got out of the car and stood by the door watching me pace.

"We went over this last night Bella. You agreed to marry me." His voice sounded small, resigned. Did he think I was backing out? Was I backing out?

"This is completely crazy!" I threw my hands in the air and spun around in a circle.

His hand caught my wrist and pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Stop over thinking this, Bella. It's a win-win for both of us." His green eyes bored into mine, the intensity taking my breath away. "For once in your goddamned life will you just let go?"

His lips covered mine and I responded immediately. My heart and my head might be fighting each other over this whole marriage thing, but my body knew exactly what it wanted. Right now, it wanted Edward to kiss me harder, longer and more passionately than any kiss we had ever shared before.

"I need you, Bella." He had backed away and was again piercing me with his smoldering eyes. I tried to catch my breath as his words penetrated through the lusty fog in my brain. "I need you to give me the family that I always wanted."

His hands were on me again, roaming across my back, pulling me closer to him.

"And you need me, too. You need me to take care of you and Charlie. And I know that you don't want to be alone any more than I do. I hate being alone, Bella. But I don't want to be with anyone else. Nobody else but you."

Tears had formed in my eyes at his words. He was right. He was so, so very right. And yet…

"I'm scared, Edward." The words slipped out no louder than a whisper. "I'm not so good at the whole perfect wife thing, you know? And what happens in six months, or a year, or five years when you decide you didn't really want to settle for me? What happens when you find someone that you really love and you want to start a real family? What happens to me and to Charlie then?"

He stared at me, dumbstruck, like the thought had never even crossed his mind.

"Bella, I've been in love with you for over fifteen years. That's not going to change any time soon."

My eyes snapped up to meet his. Did he just say what I think he just said? He did, didn't he? He said the L word.

No.

Just…no.

No fucking way.

For over fifteen years? That would mean…

No.

He said he was always sorry for being with me.

He said he couldn't be friends with me anymore.

Unless he had meant…

Holy. Fucking. Hell.

The silence surrounding us was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Edward looked almost as shocked as I was. I'm pretty sure he hadn't meant to blurt it out like that. He knew how I felt about love. I don't believe it exists. It's burned me one too many times to think that 'love' is anything but a crock of shit.

"What did you just say?" I had to ask. I had to make sure that I had heard him right before I freaked out completely.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, a sure sign that he was nervous as fuck.

"I said that I love you, Bella." He took two small steps towards me and wrapped his long fingers around my wrists. "I always have, Baby."

"Why?" The question slipped out before I had a chance to stop it. It was the question I had asked myself for fifteen years. Why?

"Why do I love you?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"No. If you loved me back then, why all the secrecy? Why all the sneaking around and all the apologies? Why did you say you didn't want to be my friend anymore?" My voice had been steadily rising until I was practically shouting at him. "Why didn't you come find me? You knew where I was going."

He leaned his forehead against mine and took a deep breath.

"Would you accept the excuse that I was a stupid kid and scared for my life?"

I almost laughed at that. Scared for his life? Because of me? Yeah, right.

"Um, no." I pulled away from him and leaned back against the car, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him until he could give me some kind of acceptable answer.

"Okay. Do you remember the camping trip we took with our dads?" I narrowed my eyes at him and nodded. Of course I remember that trip. He had almost kissed me, but stopped himself.

"I was warned every day that week to stay away from you."

My eyes widened and I felt a laugh escape. It figures. I always thought my dad was naïve leaving me alone with Edward for all that time. He wasn't naïve at all. He had warned Edward off of me. I laughed harder imagining the kinds of threats he probably made.

"It wasn't funny! I was threatened with everything from jail time to mysteriously disappearing, and assured that he knew exactly how to make that happen." Edward was trying not to laugh now. Looking back on it, it seemed so ridiculous. My dad would never actually carry out any of those threats, but back then a seventeen year old Edward wouldn't have known that.

"That's why you didn't kiss me?"

"You have no idea how hard it was to turn away from you that day. Trust me; I wanted to kiss you more than anything in that moment."

Neither one of us spoke for long time, lost in our own memories. Edward ran his fingers through his hair and took another deep breath before breaking the silence once more.

"When I kissed you at the Valentine's party you were so adamant that you didn't want it to ruin our friendship, and I promised that it wouldn't. It was just a kiss, right? Except that it wasn't just a kiss and we both knew it as soon as our lips met. I couldn't get it out of my head. I couldn't get you out of my head. I still had your dad threatening me every time I saw him, and I didn't know how you felt about me. You seemed to like the whole friends-with-benefits prospect. So many times I wanted to ask you how you felt about me, I wanted to tell you how I felt about you, but I was afraid that if I did I would ruin our friendship and I would lose you altogether."

Fuck. We really were a couple of stupid kids back then, weren't we? We both knew what we wanted but assumed it was one-sided.

"You never tried to contact me, Edward. Not once." Why the hell didn't he chase me down? Find me? Sweep me off my feet? Everything I had ever hoped he would do…but he never did any of it.

"Bella, you left me. You left me naked in the middle of a field without so much as a good bye. It pretty much confirmed my suspicions that it was just physical for you." His voice boomed through the clearing, only to be swallowed by the trees that surrounded us. "And how the fuck was I supposed to call you? You didn't give me your phone number. You didn't give me your address in Seattle. I had nothing to go on. Nothing!"

No. That wasn't right. I gave him all of that information. It was all there. Phone number, address, my heart and soul bared for him to see…all of it. It was written out in detail.

Unless…

Was it possible that he had never read it?

I could feel my heart racing. If he never read it, then everything I had assumed to be true for the last fifteen years could be wrong. He could be telling me the truth now after all.

"I gave you all of that information and more. Didn't you read the note I left for you?" I held my breath as his green eyes focused on me. The anger was still there, but now it was accompanied by confusion.

"What note?"

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. What note? Seriously? I had based my entire future on that stupid note and he didn't even know what I was talking about? Typical man, I swear to God.

I threw my hands in the air in frustration.

"The day I left, I left a note for you with my dad. He said he gave it to you when you stopped by. It had all of my contact information and my confession of love to you. That note! You didn't, did you? You never even read the damn thing!"

His face had drained of color and he staggered back a few steps to lean against the car. Honestly, he looked like someone had just told him his dog died. Stupid ass. When someone leaves town and leaves you a note, you read the fucking thing. It just may be important. Un-fucking-believable.

For a fleeting moment I wished we were back at his house in the basement. I could really go for punching something right about now.

"You left me a note…" His voice was barely audible. I had to step closer just to hear what he was saying. "You left it with the Chief."

He shook his head and chuckled humorlessly.

"I hate to break it to you, Swan, but I never got a note from your father. What I got was a night in jail and a threat of stalking charges if I tried to find you." 

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Drop me a note and let me know you're still with me, m'kay? <strong>


	19. Silence

**AN: The response for last chapter was amazing. So many new followers and favorites! Thank you all for reading and for sticking with me. **

**As always, thanks to Jenny and Jesi for pre-reading. **

**That Moment**

**Chapter 18 – Silence**

**EPOV**

Silence.

Maddening, deafening, silence.

I could hear the wind blowing through the trees, an occasional car driving down the highway that was just out of our eyesight, and a bird singing in a tree nearby. But the woman standing in front of me was absolutely silent.

Her long brown hair was blowing around her face. Her eyes were wide open, staring straight ahead yet seeing nothing.

How long did she stand like that? It seemed like hours, though in reality it was closer to five minutes. Silent. Still. Staring.

Suddenly her hands lifted to her face and she ran pushed her fingers through her hair, pulling the tendrils back away from her eyes. She threw her head back and then…she laughed.

The sound startled me as it echoed through the clearing. Her body shook with her laughter and soon she was bending forward, gasping for breath.

"Bella? Baby, are you okay?" I was starting to fear she had a mental breakdown of some kind. She was wiping tears from her eyes when she looked at me finally, still chuckling.

"Oh my God, Edward. How can you not find this fucking hilarious?"

I stared at her blankly. Clearly I was failing to see the humor that was right in front of me.

"Just think about it, okay? We were both stupid teenagers who were apparently '_in love_' with each other, right?"

I nodded my head, still not sure exactly where she was going with this.

"We were both too chicken-shit to admit our feelings."

"Right." Her eyes twinkled with laughter and I found myself smirking at her despite my lingering confusion.

"You were scared to death of my dad, but never felt the need to tell me he had threatened you."

"Um…right."

"I was too scared of rejection to tell you how I felt face to face. So I wrote you a note. I put my heart and soul in it. I told you how much I loved you and I wanted to be with you forever. And I put my phone number to my new apartment in there. I gave you a choice, you could either call me if you felt the same way, or…"

All the dots lined up and it made perfect sense. Finally, after fifteen long years, we knew exactly what had happened and why.

"Or if I didn't call, you would know that it was unrequited love."

"Right! It was the perfect solution."

"Except for one little thing." I started to laugh then, finally seeing what had got her started in the first place. "You gave the note to your dad. And the Chief hated me. He didn't want me anywhere near his precious little girl."

"That son of a bitch! I bet he read it, too! Fuck!" Her eyes widened and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"I can almost guarantee that. No wonder he was so adamant that I not try to find you. He saw his chance to get rid of me for good and he took it."

Our laughter dried up as we both realized the ramifications of that one action. Where would we be right now if the Chief had given me that note all those years ago?

We seemed to both notice that rain had started drizzling down on us at about the same time. I glanced up at the sky only to realize the clouds had darkened considerably and the tree tops above us were swaying in the gusty wind. We made a mad dash for the car and just barely made it to our seats with our doors closed before the skies opened above us and huge raindrops pelted the car.

I started the car and flipped on the wipers, but made no move to put it in gear. Not just yet. I needed to say something first. My hand found hers and squeezed gently. I waited until her chocolate brown eyes were locked on mine before speaking.

"I would have called, Bella. In a heartbeat."

She smiled and shook her head just a little bit before squeezing my hand in return.

"Then it's probably a good thing he never gave you that note."

Her words hit me and I was stunned. Beyond stunned. Stupified. Weren't we just talking about how important that note was in bringing us together? If I had received it as intended, we would have been whole, together, instead of being utterly broken. When she left that's exactly what I was, broken. It could have been avoided with one stupid note, and now she thinks it's a good thing I never got it to begin with? What the fuck?

I looked into her eyes yet again, prepared to ask her just that, when her radiant smile stopped me. Her eyes were dancing, sparkling, and she was wearing the biggest, brightest smile I had ever seen.

"Don't get me wrong, Edward, when I see my dad again he is going to have to explain himself. Not only did he lie to me, but did you say he threw you in jail? Like, literally? What the hell is that about? But…I think…maybe…my dad might be a genius." She shrugged her shoulders and turned to watch the rain run down the windshield. Thunder could be heard in the distance.

"Explain, because you lost me."

"We weren't ready back then. We were kids. We didn't know anything about life or love. We didn't even trust one another to express our feelings, how could we have possibly built a life on that? I wanted school in Seattle, you were headed to Chicago. I never wanted to come back to Forks, you never wanted to leave. It would have been one struggle after another, one compromise after another. It never would have worked."

I thought about what she was saying. Deep down I knew she was right. Hadn't I moved on with my life after she left? I went to college then on to medical school. I had girlfriends along the way, but none of them could handle the schedule that med school and later my residency put me through. Would I have wanted Bella to go through that? To know she was sitting home alone while I worked forty-eight hour shifts? No, and I wouldn't have expected her too. Then again, maybe I would have. I never expected Jane or Samantha to stick around, but they were only really there for entertainment purposes. I wasn't in love with either one of them. Bella, though. I would have expected her to be there for me no matter what. It wouldn't have been fair to her and would have put a huge strain on our relationship. She never would have asked it of me, but I would have considered dropping out of school when it got to rough. Looking back now I know, if Bella and I had been together I never would have finished med school. And I would have resented her for it.

Maybe the Chief is a genius after all.

"You said we weren't ready back then." My eyes found hers yet again. "Do you feel like we're ready now?"

I held my breath as I waited for her to respond. She flashed that big smile one more time before leaning forward and brushing her lips against mine.

"Yes," she whispered against my lips.

My hands tangled in her hair as I pulled her mouth closer to mine. I captured her lips, kissing her deeply until she moaned into my mouth. I love kissing Isabella Swan. She tastes like honey against my tongue and I can't get enough of her.

When we both felt the overwhelming need for air we pulled apart slowly. I placed my forehead against hers and took several deep breaths, stealing myself for the question that still remained unanswered.

"Bella?" I asked hesitantly. We had just had a break-through of sorts and I didn't want to screw that up. However, I am a masochist at heart so I had to ask that all important question. One more time.

"Hmm?"

My hand went to my jacket pocket, to the small velvet box that I had grabbed this morning before leaving the house.

"I think you're right. We needed time apart to grow up, to live, to figure out what love means to us. To me, love is finding the one person that means more to you than life itself. The person you would be willing to risk everything for just to make sure she's okay. She can make you feel better with one smile, one kiss, one touch. She's captivating in those moments when she doesn't think anyone is paying attention to her. She's beautiful and confident. She's the first thing I think of in the morning, and the last at night.

"We aren't kids anymore, Bella. We know what it means to love and to have a family. I love you. More than anything. And I want you to be my family."

Her eyes were glistening with un-shed tears and her hands were shaking against mine, but the smiled remained on her lips. I took a deep breath before pressing the box into her hand.

"Will you marry me, Bella?"

She bit her lip gently as she looked up at me with those glistening brown eyes. If anything, her smile became even more radiant as she nodded her head.

"Yes," she whispered yet again against my lips before she crashed into me.

Her lips met mine with a fiery passion. Her fingers tangled in my hair and she scraped her fingernails against my scalp. Fuck. She knows exactly what to do to drive me fucking crazy.

We may not be teenagers anymore, but that doesn't mean we aren't horny as fuck. It took less than two minutes before we were in the backseat, naked, and I was pounding into her. Never have I been more thankful for buying an SUV with a roomy backseat.

It wasn't slow and gentle. We weren't making love. I was fucking my fiancée in the back seat of my car, on a side road not half a mile from the highway. And she was loving every second of it.

She was completely uninhibited, meeting me thrust for thrust. Her fingers dug into my hair as she screamed my name in ecstasy. I felt her walls squeeze around me as she came. Her body started to relax beneath me but I didn't slow down. I took her wrists into my hands and held them above her head. From the sounds of her moans I could tell her next orgasm was cresting. I bent lower and took her hardened nipple between my teeth. She gasped in shock, then screamed in pleasure. Her juices coated me as I released into her.

I collapsed onto the seat beside her, knowing that I would have to have my back seat cleaned after that, but not really caring. It was worth it.

Outside, the rain was pummeling the car and the wind was howling. The sky had turned almost black. Lightning could be seen flashing through the trees and thunder rumbled loudly around us.

Despite the turmoil outside, inside the car all I felt was serenity. Peace.

We lay there for over an hour, wrapped in each others arms, watching the storm rage around us. Eventually the rain slowed to a drizzle, the wind died down and the sky lightened up. We both sighed deeply as we realized the moment was gone and it was time to get moving.

When we had finished dressing and situated ourselves in the front seat once again, I picked the velvet box up from the console where it had fallen earlier.

"I believe this is yours." I opened the box and handed it to her.

Her mouth hung open for a moment as she gazed upon my grandmother's wedding ring. It was antique gold with diamond accents and a heart shaped diamond stone surrounded by emeralds.

"Your Grandmother's ring?" She smiled as I took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger.

"No, Bella." I pulled her in for another long, slow kiss. "It's your ring."

* * *

><p><span><strong>BPOV<strong>

The remaining drive back to Forks was spent in silence. It was a comfortable silence, though. We were both content, sated and thoroughly relaxed. Neither one of us felt like going out for the evening, so we decided to invite Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose to our house for pizza and movies, and an impromptu engagement party.

As I showered, I couldn't help but think of the events of the day. I had been so apprehensive about the prospect of marrying Edward. In a flash of understanding, though, I had realized it for what it was. Fate.

Fate had torn us apart fifteen years earlier, with the help of two moronic teenagers and one way overprotective father. And now fate had brought us back together. It was like the Powers That Be knew we were ready now. We now know exactly what we want out of life, and we are in the position to be able to give each other exactly what we need.

Edward needs a family. I need stability. We both need each other. It's perfect. The Powers knew what they were doing. They worked it out perfectly.

I had no more doubts. No more reservations. This was right.

That didn't mean I wasn't nervous as hell about telling our friends and family that after only seeing each other for a few weeks we had decided to get married.

I dressed in a pair of jeans and a comfortable brown sweater. I dried my hair and brushed it out straight before pulling the sides back and twisting it up into a half-ponytail. I went light on the make-up, adding some brown mascara and eye-liner and some lip-gloss. I looked myself over in the mirror and smiled to myself. I had lost some weight over the last six months. I wouldn't classify myself as skinny and probably needed to lose at least another twenty pounds, but still I thought I looked pretty good.

The ring on my finger sparkled and reminded me that Edward loved me just the way I was.

I heard Alice and Emmett downstairs. With one more look at myself in the mirror I turned the light off and went to face the music.

"Bella! You look beautiful. I love your hair that way." Alice bubbled as usual. I rolled my eyes at her. It wasn't like I had other choices with my hair at the moment. I still had a big bald spot where the stitches were. I had to pull it up to cover that monstrosity.

"Thanks Alice. How have you been?"

I followed her to the dining room table where Edward had spread out the pizzas and started filling my plate.

"I miss Charlie," she pouted. "When am I going to get to see him again?"

"Monday." I couldn't help but laugh at her. "I go back to work Monday and I'll be bringing him by. I also have class Monday night, so it'll be a late night for me."

"I can take him to school Monday morning." Edward had walked up behind me and put his arm around my waist. "I'm at the hospital in the evening though, so you'll need to pick him up after school Al."

"Okay. That's not a problem. Now, Bella, do you want to tell me about the huge rock on your finger, or did you honestly think I wouldn't notice?" Her blue eyes sparkled. I'm pretty sure I gasped out loud. I thought I had kept it hidden under my plate. I should have known that Alice doesn't miss anything.

Emmett and Jasper had been talking about sports and Rose had been texting away on her phone, but the room fell silent after Alice's words rang out.

Edward chuckled behind me and squeezed my waist a little tighter. I was biting my lip and trying not to smile like the damned Cheshire Cat.

"It was Edward's Grandmother's ring." I set my plate down on the table and held my hand out so Alice could have a better view of the ring in question. I was still trying to contain my smile, not sure how the people standing around me would take this news. Alice knew of our history, and I was pretty sure Em knew some of it, if not the whole story. Neither of them looked very surprised. Rose and Jasper, though, looked like they had just been shocked with a bucket of ice cold water.

The silence stretched on forever. I felt my smile fading as I realized they were not taking this news well.

"Well it's about time!" Rose broke the silence first. "How in the hell you two didn't end up together in high school is beyond me. The sexual tension was so thick between the two of you it was pathetic."

The atmosphere in the room relaxed immediately.

"Yeah Bella, why didn't you two...um...end up together in high school?" Alice was smiling that innocent little smile of hers and trying not to laugh. I felt my face flush bright red and it didn't go unnoticed by everyone else in the room.

Shy, quiet Bella from high school would have mumbled something incoherent and left the room as quickly as possible. I wasn't that same shy, quiet person anymore though. So despite my cheeks flaming red, I still managed to smile, just as innocently as Alice and bat my eyes just a little bit.

"Oh, Edward and I 'ended up together' quite a few times in high school, actually. Usually in some type of closet or the bed of my pick-up truck."

Rose's eyes bulged out. Jasper choked on his beer. Alice and Emmett both cracked up laughing. I couldn't hold it in any longer and I started laughing right along with them. Just the look on Rose's face was enough to make the confession worth it.

"Dude! I knew it!" Emmett was still laughing. "The only reason you would turn Tanya down on prom night was if you were either gay or getting it somewhere else."

Of course, our friends are nosy as hell so for the next hour and a half as we sat around the table eating pizza and drinking beer we told them about how we secretly dated in high school. We also told them about the giant clusterfuck that had resulted in our separation.

"How is it even possible that no one ever found out about this?" Jasper finally asked, looking at both of us skeptically.

My eyes met Edward's and we both started to laugh. I felt my face going red yet again as I remembered all the times we had been caught. It actually happened quite often, and it was always the same person.

"Who?" Jasper narrowed his eyes as he looked back and forth between Edward and I. From our chuckles, there was no use denying it.

"Well, there was that one time, in the library..." I started laughing as I remembered the look on her face when she saw us in the stacks.

"The band room loft..."

"Oh! The equipment room..." We laughed harder as Jasper's eyes got bigger at each instance that we remembered.

"Who in the world caught you, and why wouldn't they have said anything to anyone?" Alice was furious that someone, anyone, had known before she did.

"I swear she got off on watching us. It was almost creepy." My own eyes widened at his suggestion, although in hindsight I guess it wasn't that farfetched.

"Oh my God! You may be right! It was like she was always there!"

Alice crossed her arms over her chest and huffed out loud. Her eyes were narrowed and it seemed like she was having a hard time believing us. I rolled my eyes at her before putting her out of her misery.

"It was Angela."

Emmett and Rose both laughed out loud while Alice and Jasper stared in shock. Angela had always been the quiet, nerdy type. Everyone liked her, but she didn't have many true friends.

I would never forget the first time she saw us. We were in the library. Edward had followed me back through the stacks and cornered me somewhere near the microfilm section. I didn't realize he had followed me until he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back against his chest.

It was about a month after our first kiss and we hadn't gone any further than above clothing touching. Until that day.

He started kissing my neck while his hands roamed across my stomach and waste. Slowly he slipped his hands up under my shirt and I felt his fingers gliding across my bare skin. His lips were on mine as his hands covered my breasts, lifting my bra and my shirt up out of the way in the process.

I turned in his arms and tangled my hands in his hair as I kissed him deeply. Then he kissed his way down my neck and licked his tongue across one of my hardened nipples.

That was when I heard a gasp that I was almost positive hadn't come from me. I turned my head to the side only to meet the wide eyes of Angela. Edward hadn't seen her yet and he continued sucking on my breast.

She didn't move.

Neither did I, for that matter. I was frozen in place, enjoying the sensations that were rushing through me too much to even care that we were being watched.

It wasn't until moments later when Edward realized she was there did she finally get embarrassed enough to leave. It was odd, though, that she was the one that always caught us. She never said a word about it to either of us, and as far as I know she had never said anything to anyone else either.

Hell, maybe she really did like watching us. Is it weird that I kind of like the idea? Yeah, probably.

Anyway, by the end of the evening, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose all agreed with us that fate had brought us back together and it only made sense to go with it.

Alice was already in full on planning mode, although I made it clear that I wanted an extremely small ceremony, only close friends and family needed to be there. Edward and I hadn't really talked about a date yet. At first I had thought I wanted a long engagement, but now that my viewpoint had changed I kind of wanted it to be done as soon as possible.

Of course, telling our friends was only the first step. We still had to tell our families, and something was telling me that it was not going to be nearly as easy to tell them as it had been to tell our friends. The Chief obviously didn't like Edward and had done everything he could to keep us apart fifteen years ago. Esme wasn't exactly my biggest fan, either. In fact, she had always hated me and hadn't ever tried to make a secret of it. I actually shuddered at the thought of her being my mother-in-law.

We also needed to tell Charlie. He had caught on that we were seeing each other, but I really wasn't sure how he would react to Edward and I getting married. Was he ready for a step-dad?

By the time our friends had all left, I was exhausted. It had been a very long day. Edward wordlessly followed me to my bedroom. As we both got ready for bed and slid under the covers I realized it wasn't my bedroom. It was our bedroom.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I drifted off to sleep surrounded by his warmth, completely content, safe, and loved.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Awe. What do you think? Reviews make my day, they really do. :)<strong>


	20. Family

**AN: ****Hello all! So I have been super busy studying for a statistical theory comprehensive exam that takes place over the next three weeks and will determine whether or not I graduate with my Master of Science in Applied Statistics. Wish me luck, please! **

**I'm floored by how many new favorites/followers this story has gotten. Please review and let me know how you found my story. I'd love to hear from you.**

**As always, thanks to Jenny and Jesi for pre-reading. I 3 you both big time.**

**That Moment**

**Chapter 19 – Family**

**BPOV**

Saturday morning brought with it brunch at the Cullen's. To say I was more nervous this time than I was just a few short weeks ago would be a massive understatement. I searched through my closet at least ten times trying to decide what to wear. I fixed my hair every way possible until I finally pulled the sides up, again, to cover that damn bald spot. I spent twenty minutes perfecting my makeup when it usually takes me five. I was a nervous wreck.

Edward was watching football when I finally made my way downstairs. He looked at me when I walked in the room, his eyes slowly raking over my body from head to toe. He sighed deeply and made a big production of looking at his watch before settling back into the couch and refocusing on the television.

"You need to go change. And make it quick this time; we're going to be late."

I looked down at what I was wearing, a floral print knee-length skirt and a blue wrap-around blouse with short sleeves.

"What the hell is wrong with what I'm wearing? I just spent an hour getting ready!" When I looked over again he had turned the television off and was standing in front of me. His hands wrapped around my waist and he had a smirk on his face as he leaned closer to me.

"You are entirely too enticing. How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you in front of my parents?"

I rolled my eyes at him and smacked his arm for scaring me like that. Then I leaned in and kissed him, because come on, that's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. Trust.

Twenty minutes later we were parked in his parents' driveway. For some reason, I just couldn't force myself to open the car door and step out. What was it about Esme Cullen that terrified me?

Edward got out of the car first and came around to my side of the car. He opened my door and held a hand out for me. Very sweet of him, I know, but then he has to ruin the sweet gesture by being an ass.

"She's not going to bite, Bella. It'll be fine." He really had no clue about the level of anxiety I was feeling, and I was ready to snap at him about it until The Powers That Be decided to help me out a little bit. Just as I was stepping out of the car, a truck pulled into the driveway behind us.

It was a truck that I recognized only too well. It was my dad, the Chief, and he was getting out of his truck wearing nice jeans and a blue button down shirt that was not flannel. I glanced over at Edward and noticed with a smirk of satisfaction that his face had paled considerably.

"Don't worry, Edward. He won't bite." I couldn't help but smirk at him, even though my anxiety had doubled as well. I prepared myself to confront Esme and Carlisle, not to confront the Chief. That was going to be a whole different conversation altogether.

"Cullen. Bells, how are you feeling?" He nodded at Edward once before looking me over. He didn't hug me, because that would have been weird, but I kind of got the feeling like he wanted to. Maybe my near-death experience hit him harder than I thought.

"I'm good, Dad. Are you here for lunch?" Edward coughed into his hand to try to cover his laugh. I had never been good at subtle.

"Yeah, Carlisle called me a little bit ago and invited me over."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as we made our way to the front door. The last time I had come for lunch, just a few short weeks ago, Carlisle had made a big deal about how I needed to keep in touch with the Chief. So of course, as soon as Edward lets them know I'll be joining them for lunch, he decides to invite the Chief as well. It was just so obvious and unnecessary really.

Esme opened the door, fake smile in place, and welcomed us all into their home. We settled around the table in the informal dining room. Carlisle sat at the head of the table. He smiled at me and Edward as we took our seats. Esme sat to Carlisle's left and the Chief sat next to her, across from me.

Lunch started with tossed salad and light conversation. Carlisle wanted to know how my head was healing. Esme wanted to know when I would be returning to work. And the Chief wanted to know why Charlie wasn't with us. I made sure to keep my left hand under the table, and I cursed myself for wearing the ring at all. I should have left it at home.

With the main course, grilled chicken and mixed vegetables, came the harder questions. They came from Esme, of course.

"So Isabella, will you be going back home now that you'll be returning to work? I assume you are able to take care of yourself now?"

I fought the urge to glare at her, took a deep breath and released it before responding.

"I am quite capable of taking care of myself now, Mrs. Cullen, but I don't plan on returning to that house. We'll actually be spending the afternoon cleaning it out. My lease is up next week and I won't be renewing it."

Her face paled as a look of understanding crossed over her eyes, which was quickly replaced by a cool, calculated stare.

"Have you found another place to stay then?"

Everyone had stopped eating and started staring at us. Well, staring at me, anyway. Could this have been any more awkward? Where the hell was Charlie at when you needed him? He would have just blurted out that Edward and I were living together and getting married and that would be the end of it. He wouldn't have stressed about the consequences. Then again, why was I stressing about the consequences? They would have to know sooner or later, right? What was the point in not telling them?

Edward's hand found mine under the table and he squeezed it gently. His little way of telling me that he was ready whenever I was. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him watching me. I nodded just slightly enough that he would know that I was ready. Then I took a deep breath and met Esme's cold blue eyes.

"I fully intend to live with my fiancée, Mrs. Cullen."

You could have heard a pin drop in that dining room, I swear it.

Carlisle and the Chief both turned to watch Edward's reaction to this news. Esme kept her eyes on me. Disbelief, shock and, dare I say it, hope, glimmered in her eyes. It was probably hope that I would be far away from her son and living with some other man. Tough luck, lady.

I bit my lower lip trying to keep from smiling until I knew what their reaction would be. The Chief broke the silence first. He dropped his fork on his plate and ran his hand over his eyes.

"Dammit, Bella. Haven't you learned anything?"

The words sounded harsh, but there was a smile pulling on his lips and his brown eyes were twinkling.

"I have, Dad. Namely that you make a lousy delivery man and that stealing mail is a federal offence." I smiled sweetly at him. Edward covered his mouth as he couldn't help the laugh that escaped. And the Chief had the good grace to be embarrassed, his cheeks flaming red, telling me that he knew exactly what I was referring to.

Carlisle and Esme watched our exchange, completely clueless as to what we were talking about. That was okay, though. The Chief, in his own gruff manner, had just given us his blessing. We both sighed in relief and I let myself smile wide, showing everyone at the table how happy I truly was.

Without really thinking about it, I reached across the table for my glass of water, prominently displaying the engagement ring. Carlisle smiled at me and patted Edward on the back as soon as he recognized the ring. He had suspected, of course, but the ring was proof that the fiancé I referred to was, in fact, Edward.

Esme did not smile, though, and she did not offer us any congratulations. Instead she snatched my hand out of the air and stared at the ring in horror.

"Edward. Why is she wearing your Grandmother's engagement ring?" The chill in her voice made my heart fall. I knew she would never accept me as being worthy of Edward, but the realization was still like a slap in the face.

"Because I gave it to her, Mother, when I asked her to marry me." Edward rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I thought you would be happy for me. You're always trying to set me up on dates. That's entirely unnecessary now."

"Yes! I want you to go out more, meet new people, and not settle for the first girl to spread her legs for you! Are you pregnant? Is that was this is all about? Demand a paternity test, Edward, before you give up your whole future."

The entire table sat in stunned silence. Seriously, what the hell do you even say to that?

The range of emotions I felt in that moment went from anger to humiliation and back again. How dare she? Mike's voice suddenly echoed through my mind. "_You would never be anyone's first choice, Bella. Look at you. You're plain and boring. Nothing remarkable at all." _

I felt tears welling up at the proof that he was right. There wasn't anything remarkable about me. Mike knew it. Esme knew it. And Edward, well Edward was just sick of being alone, so I guess I must be better than nothing, right?

"Esme!" Carlisle seemed as shocked as I was.

"What? He doesn't need some money-grubbing whore sucking him dry now, does he?"

I was dreaming. This had to be a dream. Or a nightmare. Whichever. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. All of the air left me and I couldn't breathe. It wasn't because she had accused me of using Edward for his money. That wasn't it at all. It hit me that hard because she was right. Wasn't financial stability one of the biggest reasons I had agreed to marry him in the first place? Didn't that make me a money-grubbing whore?

Carlisle's face had gone completely pale. The Chief's face had turned bright red.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen; my hearing must be failing me. I could have sworn I just heard you call my daughter a money-grubbing whore. But that just can't be possible, now, can it?"

Her face paled as she realized what she had just said, not only in front of me, but in front of my father and Edward as well.

"I didn't mean you Isabella, I just meant in general, we have to watch out for people like that, you understand, right dear?" She tried to backpedal quickly. It was much too late for that.

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen, I understand." I couldn't stop the two tears that ran down my cheek. "I understand completely."

Edward stood up slowly, reaching for my hand as he did so.

"We'll be going now." His voice was soft, but the hurt he was feeling resonated loud and clear. "And no Esme, Bella is not pregnant." He nodded once to Carlisle and to the Chief in farewell.

"Edward! Wait!" Esme frantically shouted from the table as we left the dining room behind us. Neither one of us slowed down or faltered. We couldn't get out of that house fast enough.

As soon as we left the house I wiped the tears from my eyes furiously. I hated myself for letting her see me get upset. Edward tried to comfort me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. The problem was I didn't want to be held. I didn't want to cry on his shoulder. I wasn't sad as much as I was fucking pissed off. I wanted to beat the shit out of something, quite honestly, preferably Esme Cullen's perfect face.

"Stop, Edward. Just...stop." I pushed him away and stepped around him. "Let's just go. I want to change clothes before we go to the house to clean and pack."

Holding emotions in had always been a specialty of mine. Mike never cared what I was feeling, so I got very good at pretending it didn't matter when something hurt. This was no exception. The tears dried up quickly and by the time we got back to Edwards' house, my defenses were up. Better late than never, right?

I went straight upstairs to my bedroom and peeled the clothes off that I had agonized over all morning, discarding them haphazardly in a pile on the bathroom floor. I turned the water on in the shower and waited for steam to fill the stall before stepping under the scalding spray. I didn't take a long shower. Just long enough to wash the hairspray out of my hair and the make-up off of my face. The hot water also helped ease the tension from my shoulders, but not by much.

When I stepped out of the stall I was surprised to see Edward leaning up against the sink watching me. I hadn't heard him come in and I gasped audibly at the sight of him, my hand flying to cover my heart.

"You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days doing that."

He smirked at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. His eyes just looked sad and sympathetic. He didn't say anything as I reached for a towel and started drying the water from my body. I could feel his eyes on me though, as I dried off. He waited until I had wrapped my hair in the towel before he decided to speak.

"I'm sorry Bella..." he began, but I didn't let him finish. I quickly stepped over and covered his mouth with my hand.

"Its fine, Edward. Really." I wanted him to believe me and drop it. I didn't want to talk about what Esme had said. I didn't even want to think about it. I wanted to just forget it and move on. He wasn't going to let that happen. Stubborn ass.

"It's not fine, Bella! My Mother called you a..."

"I am well aware of what she called me! I was sitting right there." My mask slipped and I let my anger show through momentarily. I balled up my now wet towel and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a wet splat before sliding to the floor, leaving a damp trail on the wall. "Dammit, Edward! She only said what every other person in this town is going to be thinking. Don't you see that? The only difference is she had the gall to say it to my face!"

I grabbed a dry towel and wrapped it around my chest before tackling my wet hair with a brush. I had to take a few deep breaths and slow my movements down. I found that yanking on my hair with the brush hurt like hell.

"You are not a money-grubbing whore! No one is going to say that." He took the hairbrush from my hand and laid it on the counter, making eye contact with me in the mirror just briefly.

No one is going to say it? I couldn't even believe what he was saying! Of course people were going to say it. They already were for God's sakes!

"No one except for your mother, right? Get real, Babe. That's exactly what everyone is going to say." I turned around to face him, crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back against the counter. "Here's the thing though. It really is fine. I'm not worried about it, and you shouldn't be either."

I shouldered past him and tried to go back to the bedroom, but he caught my arm as I walked passed and stopped me in my tracks. His voice was low as he practically growled into my ear.

"How can you possibly say this is fine? You are lying to yourself, Bella, and you're lying to me. Whatever happened to complete honesty, huh? How hard is it to just admit to me that you are pissed off about what she said?"

He was right. I was lying to him, or at least not telling the whole truth. Mike's voice was still echoing through my mind, along with Esme's accusations and my own insecurities. I really just needed my brain to shut the fuck up for five minutes so I could think in peace and quiet. I pulled away from his grip and turned around to face him again. I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath.

"It is fine, Edward. I don't care if she thinks I'm a money-grubbing whore. I don't care if everyone in town thinks it. It's fine because it's the truth. Financial stability was one of the major pro's to marrying you. You know that, I know that. If that makes me a money-grubbing whore, then so be it. I. Don't. Care."

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. What did he expect me to say, that Esme is a complete and total bitch and I hate her? That's not exactly new information.

We stood there for a long moment staring at each other, both of us waiting for the other to make a move. Then I saw the change in his eyes. He knew I was telling the truth, but he also knew I wasn't telling the whole truth. He was going to drag it out of me yet, I just knew it.

"So if you aren't pissed about that, then what the hell are you pissed off about?"

See. There it was. I threw my hands up in the air and growled in my own frustration. Seriously, no one had ever cared enough to ask me why I was pissed off before. I just wasn't used to opening up about what was bothering me. Usually I just swallowed the anger and went on about my business. Eventually the anger would go away and I would be able to function again.

"You want to know? Really?" I waited for him to nod in response before I continued. "I am pissed off because Esme thinks the only reason you would want to marry me is if I was pregnant! I mean seriously! Maybe Mike was right all along when he said I was just plain and boring, nothing remarkable at all. Evidently she agrees with that assessment. And then I'm pissed off at myself for even thinking that because I know that Mike is a complete and total jackass and I shouldn't believe any of that shit that he used to say. But then I know that even though I might be using you for money, you're using me too. I mean that was the whole plan, right? You get what you need, I get what I need and we live happily ever after or some bullshit like that. Right? So maybe he's right after all and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time when you decided you would settle on whoever came along next. You see Edward. That's what I'm pissed off about. Because this morning I had this all reconciled in my mind as being a good thing, and with one sentence that bitch ruined it all because now my brain won't just shut the fuck up!"

I was breathing heavily by the time my rant was over and angry tears were threatening to spill over. I didn't need to see his reaction to my craziness so I went into the bedroom and sat on the bed. I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Yelling at him had seemed to drain the rest of the tension from my body. Just like magic, the anger faded away and I was left feeling shaky and confused. I needed him to just leave so I could pull myself together again.

I waited for the sound of his footsteps walking away. I waited for the door to slam shut. I waited for him to decide that he didn't really want me, that he was better off without me. I waited for it, but it never came.

Instead he came and sat down on the bed next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me over so I was leaning against his shoulder.

"You are anything but plain and boring, Bella." He kissed my forehead once before tilting my chin up and looking into my eyes. "You are more than remarkable, you are extraordinary."

He kissed me gently then, his lips just barely ghosting over mine.

"I love you Bella, just the way you are."

My heart swelled in that moment and when he kissed me again softly I felt the energy from his kiss and from his words coursing through my body. I latched on to him and kissed him deeply. My fingers tangled in his hair as I scratched at his scalp and pulled him closer. Closer. Closer. I needed to feel him, every inch of him, to prove to myself that he was real. To prove that he was really there, and that he really loved me.

Edward seemed to know exactly what I needed as he slowly kissed his way down my body, as he lifted his shirt over his head and pulled his pants off and dropped them on the floor, as he made love to me slowly at first, then faster, harder.

Later as we lay wrapped in each other's arms, panting for air and covered in sweat I couldn't help but smile to myself. I felt lighter than air, perfectly content.

"Feel better now?" Edward laughed when he saw the smile on my face. I laughed too as I stretched my body out and then snuggled in closer to his chest.

"You have no idea. I'm sorry for freaking out on you earlier today." I was more than sorry, I was also embarrassed. At the same time, though, I was glad that it happened. Esme had tried to tear us apart, but instead I felt like she brought us closer together. I was honest with Edward about my insecurities and he didn't get overly frustrated with me and say to hell with it. He stayed with me and told me exactly what I needed to hear.

"Don't worry about it. I should take you to lunch with Esme more often. You are incredibly sexy when you're angry."

He was grinning at me and I laughed and rolled my eyes at him.

"You always know just what to say to make me feel better, Cullen. It's no wonder I'm in love with you."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted smack myself upside the head. What the hell was I thinking? Edward's arms stiffened around me for several seconds before he relaxed and chuckled in my ear.

"And here I thought you only loved me for my money. You know, like any self-respecting money-grubbing whore."

I could hear the laughter in his voice. He was making fun of me. I rolled my eyes at him and slapped his bare chest before I rolled out of bed and started collecting my clothes.

"No, I'm marrying you for your money. That's completely different. Seriously, how shallow do you think I am to fall in love with someone just because they have money?" I couldn't help but laugh. The earlier anger, frustration, and tension was completely gone. It was replaced by happiness. The feeling was foreign to me only months ago, but since Edward had walked back into my life I was getting reacquainted with it.

He watched as I pulled on a pair of black boy-short panties and a matching bra, followed by my favorite pair of jeans and a grey T-shirt that said "Madeira Beach" in bright pink lettering across the front. My favorite t-shirt. I had gotten it the previous summer when I went to visit my mom in Florida for a week.

He was still sitting on the bed watching me when I went into the bathroom to try to fix my hair. It was completely hopeless, though. I was finally able to pull the brush all the way through it, but there was no saving it. I pulled it all back into a ponytail and left a few tendrils hanging in the front.

When I went back in the bedroom, Edward was fully dressed and talking to Emmett on the phone. They were all supposed to meet us at my old house in about twenty minutes to help clean up the disaster that was left.

I put my socks and shoes on and slipped out of the room. I hadn't eaten much at our wonderful luncheon with the Cullen's, and the lack of food was starting to get to me. I rummaged through the fridge and came up with some left-over pizza. It was delicious. I was finishing my second slice when Edward joined me in the kitchen.

He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead gently. When I looked up into his eyes, they were full of some emotion I couldn't quite place, but the intensity was enough to take my breath away. I don't know how long we stood there staring into each other's eyes. After a long moment he blinked his eyes and licked his lips before leaning down and whispering into my ear.

"I love you, Bella."

My heart swelled at hearing those words from him. It wasn't the first time he had said it, but it still made me feel so happy and content and perfect. I felt energy coursing through my body as I lifted my hands up and placed them on either side of his face. With the amount of emotion flooding through me, I don't know how I managed to respond to him without embarrassing myself.

"I love you, Edward." My words came out as no more than a whisper, but it was enough. His face broke out into a huge grin for only a second before his lips crashed into mine and he spun me around in a circle in the middle of the kitchen floor. Aside from my little slip upstairs, I hadn't ever said those words to him before. It was scary, terrifying almost, but it felt so right. Like truer words had never been spoken.

**AN:**** Awe! So Bella finally admits that she loves Edward. :) **

**And what do you think of Esme's reaction? **

**So here's a question for you – Are you married? If so, how did your parents react to the news? Personally, I've been married for years to my high school sweetheart. We were engaged at nineteen. My dad's reaction was "Don't get pregnant and ruin your life." Nice, right?**


	21. Suspect

**AN:**** As always, thanks to Jenny and Jesi for pre-reading. And thanks to all of the readers/reviewers. You all make my day. **

**That Moment**

**Chapter 20: Suspect**

**BPOV**

We made it to the house just before Alice and Jasper. Rose and Emmett pulled in about five minutes later, and Jess got there right after them. It was amazing to have such good friends, willing to give up their Saturday afternoon and evening to clean out and clean up a vandalized house.

The house was an even bigger disaster than I remembered it being. The cops had been through several times dusting for prints, and I had been back once with Edward to clean Charlie's room out. For the most part, it had been left untouched.

It was hard though, to look at the rest of the house. When I left Mike, I hadn't taken much with me. Most of the furniture in the house was stuff I had found at yard sales or second hand stores. It wasn't much, but it was still mine. The house and everything in it were my attempt at starting over. My attempt at leaving an unhappy situation and moving on with my life. Looking around at the destruction it was plain to see that I had failed.

Everyone split up and took on different jobs. Jess and I tackled the bedroom. Alice and Rose started in the kitchen, and the guys all started with the furniture. Anything that was salvageable went in Jasper's truck. Anything that was trash went in Emmett's truck.

With everyone working together we sorted through the remaining items in the house and cleaned all the trash out in just a few hours. Once that much was finished we set in painting the walls and cleaning the carpets. I swore if I ever found out who had trashed my house, I would ram a spray paint can right up their ass.

We had the radio blasting and everyone was singing and laughing at each other as we painted. It didn't feel like work at all, it felt like old friends hanging out together. It was great.

Around eight o'clock Emmett decided he was starving and took off to get take-out. Edward and Jasper went with him. I'm not sure why they needed three guys to pick up a few sandwiches and some pop, but there you go. Since they were all gone, we decided to take a much needed break. We sat down on the back porch and listened to the night air. I thought it would be a relaxing moment until my big-mouth cousin decided to start prying into my life again.

"Edward said lunch with Esme was pretty brutal, huh?"

I laughed. I couldn't help it. 'Brutal' was just such an understatement. Jess offered me a cigarette and I took it. I was going to need one to get through this conversation.

"Of course it was brutal. It's always brutal. That woman fucking hates me."

I had filled Jess in with the whole ordeal while we cleaned the bedroom out, so she snorted in agreement.

"I can't believe she said that to you in front of your Dad. That woman has balls. I wonder what he said to her after you left."

I was mortified to even think about it. Still, it would have been nice to be a fly on the wall for that particular conversation.

Alice and Rose were shooting me death glares for not telling them what happened, so I filled them in quickly.

"Basically she accused me of only wanting Edward's money and told him if I was pregnant then he should get a paternity test."

"She didn't! And the Chief was there?" Alice's eyes bugged out of her head and Rose tried not to laugh.

"Yeah, it was awful. Edward and I just left and went home. I know what he's thinking, though. He's thinking that she's right and I'm only with him for his money." I rolled my eyes and lifted the cigarette to my mouth, inhaling deeply. Smoking isn't something I do often. Not anymore. At one point I was a regular smoker, though I never smoked more than half a pack a day, but I quit years ago. Now I only smoke when the situation called for it. Like now.

"So are you?" Rose acted as though she were completely bored with the conversation and couldn't care less what my answer was. I knew better. Edward was like a brother to her and she would protect him if she could.

I shrugged my shoulders and stared off into the night. Was I?

"In a way, yeah, I guess I am." My voice fell flat; there wasn't even any emotion present as I spoke. It was the truth. Why not just admit it?

"You don't mean that." Alice denied it. When I didn't respond she tried again. "Bella, come on. We all saw you two last night. You couldn't keep your hands or your eyes off of each other. You love Edward, not his money. It was so obvious."

"I don't know, Alice. I mean, the fact that he owns a house and has a steady job was a pretty major upgrade from what I had before, you know?" My cigarette was burned to the filter, so I flicked it away and started to pace. "When he first proposed to me his biggest selling point was that I could quit my job and put Charlie on his insurance so I could go to graduate school. That's why I said yes to him. It had nothing to do with love. Neither one of us had even said that word at that point."

It was true. We had even agreed to use each other to get what we wanted. I had come to expect that. Why was I doubting that decision now that I admitted my feelings for him?

"That doesn't even matter. That was just your brain making excuses for what your heart wanted all along."

Maybe. More than likely, though, it was my brain trying to protect my heart. If your heart is closed off and protected, it won't be broken when everything ends badly. Without my brain's permission, my heart had become involved. That's why I was questioning my motives. Which part of me had made the decision, was it my brain or my heart? Or did they agree on this one?

The doorbell interrupted my musing so I excused myself to go see who it could be. I wasn't expecting to see Jacob Black standing on my front porch. He wasn't even wearing his uniform, just blue jeans and a black t-shirt.

"Jacob." I joined him on the porch rather than inviting him in.

"Bella! You're home!" He wrapped his massive arms around me and squeezed me tight, taking me completely off guard. As soon as he released me I stepped back away from him. I am not a 'hugger'. I like my personal space.

"Yeah, well, not really. Just trying to get it all cleaned up and repainted." The way he was staring at me was making me more than a little uncomfortable. I crossed my arms over my chest defensively and leaned back against the front door. "So did you need something?"

"Huh? Oh, no. I was just in the neighborhood and saw the car out front. I wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Well, that made sense I guess. Except that he wasn't in uniform and the squad car was nowhere to be seen. He was checking out my house when he wasn't even on duty? That was strange, right?

"Okay, well everything is fine."

I think he sensed that I was anxious for him to leave because he took a step towards the driveway, but then he stopped and crossed the porch to stand right in front of me. I don't think I truly appreciated how big he was until that moment. The man was huge! He had to be at least a foot and a half taller than me.

"Actually there was one thing I needed to discuss with you." He said it urgently, like it was something really important. "We got the fingerprint results back."

Okay, see, he probably should have led with that instead of being all creepy. I relaxed slightly. There was an actual reason he was here, then.

"So you know who did it?" I was hopeful, but not really expecting results.

"There weren't any prints aside from the ones you approved."

That would be a 'no'. I released a breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"Whoever it was wore gloves?"

He shook his head and leaned in closer to me. He was so close I could feel his breath against my skin. It sent a cold chill down my spine. I wanted to retreat, but I was already against the door. I had nowhere to go.

"How well do you know Edward Cullen?" His dark eyes penetrated mine and his voice sounded almost angry when he spoke.

My brow furrowed in confusion. What the hell?

"Fairly well." I responded cautiously, not at all sure of where he was going with this.

"His fingerprints were all over your house, Bella. Everywhere."

I still didn't understand. I had told the police that Edward's prints would be in the house. Why would Jacob have been concerned?...angry?...confused?

"Didn't I tell you guys that they would be?"

He leaned in closer, his body only centimeters from my own. His hands were against the door on either side of my head. I was trapped and finding it hard to breathe.

"His prints were in your kitchen, your bathroom, in your damned shower! He came to pick up some clothes for you to stay at his house for a few days, and decided to take a shower? Who does that?"

The dots were connecting in my head and I didn't like the picture they were forming at all. I knew that Jacob had some kind of a crush on me. He hit on me every time we talked. I just didn't have any feelings for him at all. I had told him before that there would never be anything between the two of us. I turned him down every time he asked me out. I didn't want to hurt him, but he needed to realize that we would never be together.

"What's your point, Jake?"

"You see, Sam seems to think that you're fucking him. It would explain his prints all over the place." My eyes widened and I felt blood rushing to my cheeks. Fuck. My dad would see those results and come to the same conclusion. Not that my relationship with Edward was a secret or anything.

"I told him, though, Bella. I said that's just not possible. She just got divorced, doesn't want to date or get into a relationship. Isn't that what you told me?"

I ducked and slid under his arm, quickly moving to the other side of the porch and taking a deep breath.

"So the way I see it, the man had access to your house, his fingerprints are everywhere and there couldn't possibly be anything going on between the two of you because you just aren't ready yet."

I stared at him in disbelief. Was he actually suggesting…? No. He couldn't be. The idea of it was just too preposterous.

"Are you saying you think that _Edward_ vandalized my house?" My eyes narrowed into slits and I glared at him. "Why in the world would he do that?"

"Think about it for a minute. You 'accidentally' fall off a cliff and he just happens to be right next to you, ready to jump in and save you." The blood ran cold in my veins. I couldn't believe what he was saying. I turned away from him and held on to the porch railing for support. None of this could be true. It just couldn't be.

"Then just as you're recovering and getting ready to come home, guess what, can't go home because your house was broken into, ransacked, destroyed." He stepped behind me and placed his hands on the railing to either side of me. I could feel his body pressed against mine. A shiver of revulsion spread throughout my body and I stepped forward, trying to put as much distance between our bodies as possible.

"It's okay, though, because conveniently your knight in shining armor offers you a place to stay for as long as you want." He spoke in a low tone, right into my ear. "Of course you take him up on the offer. After all, you're still grateful to him for saving your life, but in the meantime you're too naïve and innocent to realize that you just put yourself into the hands of an obsessed man that you know nothing about."

I tried to turn and face him, but he pressed me closer to the railing. The shock and disbelief I had been feeling was quickly being replaced by anger.

"You need to back away, Jacob. Now." It was a long moment before he complied, stepping back only two steps. It did allow me to walk away from him, though. I crossed the porch and stood in front of the door once again.

"Imaginative as that little story is, it's completely ridiculous. Edward did not vandalize my house to convince me to move in with him!"

The anger radiating off of him was palpable. I found myself shrinking against the door as he once again trapped me between his arms and his body.

"How do you know that, Bella? What makes you so sure that he didn't?"

I stared into his dark eyes, eyes that were only inches from my own. I saw anger in them, but I also saw…was it..fear? That's kind of what it looked like. What would he be afraid of right now?

"I know Edward! He wouldn't do that to me."

His eyes narrowed into slits. The fear disappeared from his eyes, to be replaced by pure rage. It sent a cold chill through my body.

"Sam's right, isn't he? You are fucking him," he practically growled in my ear. His hands gripped my shoulders, then slid down my arms. He wrapped his massive hands around my wrists and pinned my arms to the door. "Fucking and knowing are not the same things. How much do you actually know about him?"

I swallowed thickly, well aware of the fact that he had me pinned to the door. I was completely helpless. Rose, Alice and Jess were still around back. They weren't even aware that something was wrong. The guys would be another ten or fifteen minutes. I was alone, and I was helpless.

"I know him well enough, Black. Well enough to know that he wouldn't do what you're accusing him of. He's not obsessed with me, he loves me."

His hands tightened around my wrists and he leaned closer, close enough now that I could feel his breath against my face.

"You think he loves you? After a few weeks?" He smirked at me. "I know you've been out of the dating pool for a while, but really. Even you should know the difference between lust and love. What do you think is going to happen when he decides he's done fucking you and goes on to fucking someone else?"

"Get off of me." I had had enough of this conversation. I was done. He didn't release my hands, though. Instead he pressed his body against me and inhaled deeply. Gross.

"You never even gave me a chance, Bella. Not even one dinner." He leaned in closer. His breath washed over my skin, sending a cold chill down my spine. I struggled against his hold only for him to grip my wrists even tighter.

"Let go of me Jacob. Now." He leaned forward. He was so close that the tip of his nose skimmed across my forehead.

"I'll tell you what. I don't usually take in Cullen's cast-offs, but for you I might make an exception. Call me when you're ready for a real man and I'll show you what you're missing." He ground his jean clad erection into my thigh. I gasped in shock and surprise and he took the opportunity to shove his tongue in my mouth. I don't know if you could call it a kiss. His mouth covered mine. His teeth gnashed against mine. It was brutal and jarring and I couldn't even turn my head away from him to stop it.

I tried to push him away, but it was no use. He was too big, too strong, and I was trapped between him and the door. This same position with Edward had been exhilarating. With Jacob it was terrifying. I was too open, too vulnerable, and too helpless. Even though we were both fully clothed, I felt violated.

He released my mouth and released a frustrated sigh before leaning his forehead against mine. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to kick him in the balls as hard as I could. Before I could act on any of those, he surprised me yet again. This time he leaned in slowly, his lips brushing against mine gently before he applied just a bit more pressure. I stood stock still as his tongue flicked across my lips.

He pulled back slowly and released my hands, which fell uselessly to my sides. Then he reached up with his thumb and slowly traced along my jawbone. I was frozen in place, my brain refusing to acknowledge how very wrong this was. Lucky for me, my mouth wasn't attached to my brain at the moment.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Get the fuck away from me." I pushed him away only to have him grab my arms again.

"Do yourself a favor, Swan." He leaned close and whispered in my ear. His hands were on my arms, his breath against my face. I was finding it hard to breathe. Panic was starting to well up inside of me as I realized that whatever he tried to do to me, I couldn't stop him.

"Run a background check on Cullen before you say 'I do'. Trust me on this one."

He kissed my forehead almost gently before letting go of my arms and turning to walk away.

As I watched him drive off, my knees gave way and I sunk to the ground.


End file.
